Ask HN: What do you struggle with? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#61

Post by joelurker » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:20 PM UTC

I struggle with imagining the second act of my life. In my first act - my 20s - I got more exciting jobs than I could hope for, started two organizations I am proud of, made friends for life, was popular enough that people knew who I was before I knew who they were. For various reasons, I left this first act - both mentally and geographically.

Today I have a family, emotional and financial stability, and job prospects I didn't have before. Yet whenever I talk to people about what who I am and what I've done, I always refer to things from my first act, all 4+ years in the past. Nothing happening in my life professionally or creatively now betters what I've achieved already. Being still in my early 30s, this worries me.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#62

Post by nwsm » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:20 PM UTC

80386 wrote: post #30

I make I try to get at least one Git commit every day, but my job is pretty draining, so that doesn't happen. And sometimes all my projects get blocked on hard stuff that I don't have the energy to solve. For all I know, I might look alright on paper. I've co-authored a paper in a respectable journal, written a few Rails apps, a few desktop apps, and a crappy interpreter for an old language - which doesn't really use…

You should apply for some junior jobs. Finish up your portfolio and have your code (clean it up if you need to, but don't waste time re-architecting ) available on GitHub.

Start applying at places with small software teams (Maybe get some kind of online cert (AWS dev?).

Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#63

Post by house9-2 » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:21 PM UTC

androidgirl wrote: post #22

Depression. I have a lot of social anxiety and I feel really isolated, my best friend passed two years ago which didn't make anything better. Isolation makes depression into a feedback loop, and it feels like you keep sinking deeper and deeper.

I highly recommend going to see a therapist.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#64

Post by DrJid » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:21 PM UTC

mrdependable wrote: post #31

I've been struggling with adulthood ever since turning 30 and starting a family. I have this image in my head of what life after 30 looks like from seeing my parents and all their friends doing basically the same thing as each other. It's not a life I want for myself, but every decision I make pushes me further and further in that direction. My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands…

Perhaps this book could help as well: https://www.amazon.com/How-Found-Freedom-Unfree-World-ebook/...

I'm just reading it, and at the very least it may help recognize the various trap we're in and a way to forge a path to get out of them.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#65

Post by tequila_shot » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:22 PM UTC

Thanks for asking this question. I was reflecting on this lately:

I specifically struggle with 2 things:

-- With adulthood and family. I'm not really sure how my parents did it, I feel I'm still not an adult ( married 2 years ago).

-- I did my undergrad in CS, got hired into an IT consultant company, and started working as a developer implementing tool platforms. ( imagine SalesForce, AWS etc., ) for customers. Now I'm working doing the same thing in one of the top 5 companies in the world. I don't like this anymore. I want to branch out and do full stack development, ML, AI OR ANYTHING ELSE EXCEPT THIS. As I mentioned it's becoming impossible to change my career because 1/ I'm on a visa 2/ I'm married and my wife's doing her graduate courses in the location I live in.

I'm doing my masters on the side, but really at the end of the day I don' have enough patience / will power to do anything else apart from my current work and that's killing me everyday.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#66

Post by roryisok » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:22 PM UTC

runjake wrote: post #18

Odenwaelder wrote: post #15

I struggle with the question whether to have children or not. I'm surrounded by new fathers who struggle with their children, whose wives have turned from attractive women into unattractive moms. I read witty comments all the time suggesting how much of a burden kids are. This struggle burns me out.

I have 8 year old triplets. It's tough work, but very rewarding. On the attractiveness front, I have a still very attractive wife that takes care of herself. I think a lot of your worries are in the selection of a partner. And of course, you must keep up your end of the bargain, so lead by example, stay fit. It's a partnership, after all. At the time I met my wife, I was dating quite a bit and had many options, but s…

As a father of 6 month old twins and two toddlers it's nice to see there's light at the end of the tunnel :)

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#67

Post by xaranke » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:22 PM UTC

Ramiuz wrote: post #54

I want to leave my country for work/ study reasons, but I don't know how to start or where to look. I'm a EE graduated from a university here in South America (Chile) and currently working as a SW lead in IoT / fullstack projects. Every time I look outside (linkedin, /cscareerquestions, HN), there are people with far more experience or qualifications. It makes me feel my ideas are all wishful thinking. That the succe…

If you'd like to move, my company is always hiring every kind of developer. Most roles are in the US, but there are others elsewhere. We also sponsor visas.

If you're interested, my email is in my bio.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#68

Post by nwsm » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:23 PM UTC

CM30 wrote: post #21

Overambitiousness. Or more precisely, actually getting stuff finished because of overambitiousness. I really need to remember the idea of a minimum viable product and not get sidetracked with 'wouldn't it be cool if' type features that slow everything down.

It's okay if they don't all get made. Just try to learn something from the experience, whether that be new technical skills, best practices, how to identify problems you ran into beforehand, etc.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#69

Post by xaranke » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:23 PM UTC

tequila_shot wrote: post #65

Thanks for asking this question. I was reflecting on this lately: I specifically struggle with 2 things: -- With adulthood and family. I'm not really sure how my parents did it, I feel I'm still not an adult ( married 2 years ago). -- I did my undergrad in CS, got hired into an IT consultant company, and started working as a developer implementing tool platforms. ( imagine SalesForce, AWS etc., ) for customers. Now I…

Which city are you in? What visa are you on?

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#70

Post by madeuptempacct » Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 7:24 PM UTC

jklein11 wrote: post #39

80386 wrote: post #30

I make I try to get at least one Git commit every day, but my job is pretty draining, so that doesn't happen. And sometimes all my projects get blocked on hard stuff that I don't have the energy to solve. For all I know, I might look alright on paper. I've co-authored a paper in a respectable journal, written a few Rails apps, a few desktop apps, and a crappy interpreter for an old language - which doesn't really use…

I can imagine that there are senior engineers that couldn't explain to me what a lexer/parser does let alone elaborate on the trade offs of a specific implementation. I'm not in the position to hire but send me an email if you want to connect.

Guilty.