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Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#51

I struggle with the question whether to have children or not. I'm surrounded by new fathers who struggle with their children, whose wives have turned from attractive women into unattractive moms. I read witty comments all the time suggesting how much of a burden kids are. This struggle burns me out.

It can definitely be a challenge. My wife and I waited a long time (10 years) before having a kid. There have been a number of unexpected medical things that have complicated the past ~4 years. I love my son a lot, but I also would have been happy to be just a husband. I think you need to decide what's important to you and whether a child makes that better or worse. Having kids to meet some kind of social norm or expectation is definitely not a good plan (although I'm sure it can work out ok in some situations).

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#53
Insomnia, it's a fun one. I have learned patience, and through the buddhist approach to non-self a way to deal with my suffering. I'm tired, a lot, but sometimes I'm not! I've learned to appreciate those times immensely instead of focusing on wanting to be in a state that is unattainable. I'm not fully in control, and that's ok, I do what I can, when I can.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#54
I want to leave my country for work/ study reasons, but I don't know how to start or where to look. I'm a EE graduated from a university here in South America (Chile) and currently working as a SW lead in IoT / fullstack projects.

Every time I look outside (linkedin, /cscareerquestions, HN), there are people with far more experience or qualifications. It makes me feel my ideas are all wishful thinking. That the success that I have attained here is just because "it's a shallow pond" and nothing else.

And when I look at grad programs (master); they require far more money that I have with me right now. I would love to get a master in SWE (part of the reason for going abroad), but I don't feel good enough for a scholarship/financial aid.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#55
Procrastination - wanting to accomplish things (technical things - learn new language, stack, technology) in my head but not actually starting/completing them. I've tried to minimize my hobbies and whatnot so that I'm not being torn in too many directions but I guess I just aspire to do more software dev-type activities (in my head) but after a day job related to that I can't quite muster up the energy (default to FO4, Youtube or guitar).

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#56

I struggle with scaling up my business. I have been working from home for the past 10 years and I have websites that generate ok money ($100K/y). My struggle is I just can't get myself to hire my first full time employee. I tried it many years ago but after facing the headache of hiring, dealing with attrition, training, etc, it took away all my focus from work. I feel management is a skill I just don't have. Also wo…

I can relate to this. Try to find someone part time who you can trust and will stick around for awhile. Look outside your bubble of hackernews etc, might be a mom or a retired guy, whatever. Baby steps.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#59
I can't stop to underestimate myself on my programming level so that I'm not applying to some cool jobs because I think that I wouldn't make it, while knowing in my deep mind that I could totally do it.

I've been programming since ten years, I'm 23 now, I've finished my Msc in embedded software engineering. Programming is my biggest passion. I've created and sold websites for companies of my city and cities around mainly when I was ~16yo and even from time to time until now. I've made and sold multiple mobile apps, some that have currently thousands of clients by subscription. And I have always since 13yo at least a project in my hands.

I'm really not good at selling myself for companies where I'm applying for a job, it's terrible

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#60
post #52

Narcism. I'm like the smartest guy in the world, and I can't believe how mediocre everyone else is.

One way to deal with this is to meet up with some people who are much smarter than you. That'll quickly cure this illusion.

Or simply read their work. For example, some of Einstein's original papers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annus_Mirabilis_papers

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