The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
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Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#2I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary.
Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. my parents are old and sick.. I'm the most successful child and have been covering medical bills for the past year.. it seems irresponsible to try to start a start up that will most likely fail instead of trying to secure a higher paying job so that I can cover their bills and live more comfortably. It may not be the glamorous thing to do but we all have responsibilities...
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#3Some wisdom that's not easy to imagine for ourselves, but statistically..
"Looking back on my high school years, all my relatives tried to talk me, a top-ranking student, into majoring in science or finance in college. But I was stubborn enough to stay with my favorite subject, literature.
Now I understand them. They knew very well that in life, things can easily fall apart, and that those degrees are a promise of a steady, good-paying job, and perhaps a ticket to freedom, too."
Feeling the shadow of how things can fall apart easily can be delayed until one's 30's or 40s for the privileged, but everyone will see it.
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#4As an Asian-American, I'm struggling through the same dilemma as well. I've been given a huge opportunity to move to Asia and to initiate a program at a Fortune 100 company, but recently my parents have gotten very ill. My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer, and has had multiple surgeries. My mom has a myriad of health issues, and I feel painfully selfish by not helping them. They would never burden me, and pushing me to go pursue my career dreams.
I think this is an experience that most people will face in their lifetime. I don't necessarily know if this is an Asian experience, and the discussion of family burdens because in our culture the parents would never say a thing about their illness. But, I don't think what they realize is that it puts even more pressure on the children on accepting the right path.
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#5A common trend I've noticed with successful founders in my small circle - little responsibilities to dependents and a ridiculous abundance of just-in-case-it-fails funds.
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#6So healthcare in China is two-tier? Excellent care for those with money or connections, and bad care for everyone else?
The author works in America as a writer (and the prose is excellent! Hard to believe English is a second language!).
Would things be any different if the mother lived in the states with her daughter? Would healthcare be better for her, or would it only be better if they were richer than they are?
As someone living in a country with working universal healthcare, I can only feel exceedingly sorry for those living in countries such as China and USA.
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#7I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…
Try this exercise: Write down what will happen if you were to die right now. For me, this answers most questions about what I should do.
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#8This resonated with me as an introvert and I'm not Chinese. There have been many times that I've realized, I should have spent more time collecting connections and less time working in front of the screen.
I think this also relates to the values my parents gave me that I should work for everything I have and hard work pays off. They never asked anyone for a favor or special privileges, so I never put much value on networking. When I get in a tough spot my natural instinct is to put my head down and solve the problem on my own.
Calling in a favor requires future planning because you need to collect the right kind of friends who also understand the value of passing favors. My observation is that it's much more common for business types, not engineers to think this way.
Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter
#9I came to US about 10 years ago. Finished my PhD and spent about 4 years in Software Industry. Saved some money. US has taught me a lot about entrepreneurship and software. Now moving to India for good to work on my own startup, spend more time with my hobbies and to stay close with my parents who are in their 60's. It took me more than an year to convince my parents (hardest to convince was my Mom) and my Wife. Looking back, I feel that is one of the best, courageous and hardest decisions I have taken in my life.
Also thanks to YC for accepting my Startup in to their Startup School Advisor Track. Namaste!