Same here. It's frustrating being this way because you basically lose in most decision making forums by saying "I need to think about it". People who respond fast sound smart and knowledgeable. People who respond slowly don't necessarily sound stupid (I've found it's amazing how often saying nothing makes people think you are smart), but their input still gets overlooked because you end up in the position where if you can't present an argument against a decision being made a certain way on the spot then people don't see why it should wait.
I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
41–50 of 227 posts
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#42I'm the same way! I have to train myself not to think when people give a casual "hey, how are you?". The book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts" has an interesting message about how introverts struggle to fit into an image of society where one must be a quick-witted extrovert in order to be successful and powerful. I think it's the same for fast vs slow thinkers. It's important to know your a slow thinker, and accept i…
Captured in the classic Budweiser ad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffUDDYYIX04
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#43Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wonder if it's an Australian thing for the response to "how ya goin'?" to be "how ya goin'?".
As well, the South African “howzit”, which from my observation isn’t even actually a question but just invites the other person to say what they wanted to say.
In the south of England we have "alright?". The only valid answer is "alright?.
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#44Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I'm the same way! I have to train myself not to think when people give a casual "hey, how are you?". I know, right? I knew I couldn't be the only person around that gets annoyed when other ask this of me and I have to divert resources the answer the annoyingly irrelevant question. even more so when after careful considering and answering, the answer is essentially ignored. every. time.
It’s not a literal inquiry, it’s the verbal equivalent of a TCP handshake. It’s protocol negotiation, volume adjustment, and preparation for transmission.
It depends, as a conversation starter it is probably okay. As an entire conversation it is almost entirely pointless, basically 2 people acknowledging that the other still exists.
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#45I'm the same way! I have to train myself not to think when people give a casual "hey, how are you?". The book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts" has an interesting message about how introverts struggle to fit into an image of society where one must be a quick-witted extrovert in order to be successful and powerful. I think it's the same for fast vs slow thinkers. It's important to know your a slow thinker, and accept i…
David E. Davis, founder of Automobile magazine was known to ask "Is your life a rich tapestry?" instead of the usual "How are you?". I like that.
What is it mean if your natural reaction is to just say "Yeah" with no thought and then continue
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#46I'm wondering if what Sivers feels about himself is true for everyone. Maybe those sharp people who give an insightful reply right off the bat would give an even better reply if they had more time.
This is why I prefer email over instant messaging, phone calls, or collaborative online chat when asking questions (except trivial questions). I want a considered reply, not something off the cuff.
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
David E. Davis, founder of Automobile magazine was known to ask "Is your life a rich tapestry?" instead of the usual "How are you?". I like that.
The existentialist in me finds that intriguing; the introvert in me finds that terrifying.
I would prefer to ask than be asked.
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#48Earlier quoted context omitted.
You would be surprised how often people don't even notice if you respond to "hey, how are you", with "hi". But, really, the script you're meant to follow goes like this: Hey how are you? Hey, good, how about you? Pretty good Then, if the conversation is meant to continue, which it most often is not, one of you says "So ... what's up in your life?" or "So ... how's that thing you're working on going?" or some other mo…
It's just a standard greeting. Personally, I find it weird if people actually tell me how they're going when I ask them. It's even more peculiar/banal in French, where the conversation goes: Salut, ça va? Ça va, et toi? Ça va. "Ça va" translates to "it is". So in essence, it's a completely meaningless exchange.
It's not meaningless, it's just not informational. It does not convey new information, it carries social bonding instead. If you want to know more about it, read Eric Berne's books, e.g. Games People Play.
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#49I feel similarly. I often find that I run into people who are eager to have a face-to-face debate about something, and who come up with opinions and rationalizations that sometimes end up being dubious. But I feel a strong desire to hear them out and I generally have a hard time piecing together what makes an argument fallacious until I have time to analyze it more deeply, so I generally just take whatever they've sa…
This is why I despise most power point presentations so much and would most of the times prefer a writeup on two pages...
Re: I’m a very slow thinker (2016)
#50I'm wondering if what Sivers feels about himself is true for everyone. Maybe those sharp people who give an insightful reply right off the bat would give an even better reply if they had more time. This is why I prefer email over instant messaging, phone calls, or collaborative online chat when asking questions (except trivial questions). I want a considered reply, not something off the cuff.
That's certainly true for me. When I'm trying to give an answer quickly, I'm generally able to throw together a rough mental framework and apply it to the question at hand. It may feel insightful to the extent that it has an applied framework, but it is unlikely to hold up to scrutiny. However, if you give me actual time, then I can research and think more thoroughly, and you'll get a much more thought out answer.
I think one key difference is just the confidence with which someone is able to give their initial reactions. If you internally feel less confidence, then you will feel as if you don't have an answer, when you really do have some formulation of the answer in your mind, just not one you feel great about yet.
Another key factor is to what extent you've practiced giving a quick answer. For example, it's typically considered a key skill for tech industry product managers, and there's a recipe for quickly converging on some answer in the span of a few minutes. It may not be the best answer, but it's an answer. I guess what I'm saying is that if it matters to you to appear quick, it can be practiced.
But in the vast majority of cases, you don't have to be fast, just aware that you need time. (Exceptions include PM interviews but not actual PM work...)