Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?

>How do I overcome my fear of flying?

Here's a good allegorical story that can help with that:

"There was a rich merchant, who after having been out travelling with his caravan for some time, reached the outskirts of a town. The evening was late, but he needed a few things so he sent his best servant to the market. At the market the servant happened to meet Death. It was easy to recognize the sinister face of Death, they were no more than ten meters away from each other. Death saw the servant and raised his hand. The servant instantly became terrified and fled head over heels to his master without having bought anything at all.

Back at the merchant’s tent the terrified servant told his master whom he had met at the market. The merchant immediately gave the servant one of his fastest horses and told him to ride the whole night without stopping and by dawn he would be safe in Samarkand. The servant rode as fast as the horse could carry him. That night it was only him, the horse and the glistening stars.

Early the next morning the merchant went to the market and also he happened to meet Death. The merchant, who was annoyed instead of being afraid, went straight up to Death asking what he ment by threatening his best servant. Death calmly replied “I wasn’t threatening him, I was merely greeting him. But I must say I was very surprised to see him here since I am supposed to meet him in Samarkand tonight”.

Or, to paraphrase a saying we have here, "They who are meant to drown, are resistant to any other kind of fatal incident".

We shouldn't concern ourselves with statistically insignificant odds such as of a plane crashing. Heck, a car accident is an order of magnitude more likely -- and even more so at the rate we get in cars or cross roads vs being on airplanes.

Or, to just use the words of Hunter Thompson: "Buy the ticket, take the ride".

Fly Qantas. They've had zero fatal accidents since the jet age.

Beta-blockers have been helpful for me for fear of flying (and other situational fears like public speaking)

http://www.kickhealth.co/blog/beta-blocker-tales-stage-frigh...

https://www.anxieties.com/159/beta-blockers

Thanks eblanshey. Let me know if you have any ideas about it!

I was a very fearful flyer, couldn't stop visualizing possible accident scenarios while on an airplane, sweaty hands, grabbing the arm rest, all that. Today I rejoice the experience so much that sometimes I consider buying a ticked just for the sake of flying. I even get excited for simple short haul flights on economy, flying new airplanes, airlines etc.

At the end, it all came down to three things:

1. Learning about aviation as a hobby

As software engineer, it was very easy to get invested into learning about these wonderful machines and how everything around them works. As soon as you understand what is going around you, all the safety measures, redundancies etc., you feel more in control of your environment. Weird noises don't come as surprises anymore[1]. To help you with this I'd suggest following some aviation related channels on Youtube.[2]

2. Flying a lot

I had to spend a couple of years flying 4+ times per month. Having a ton of positive experiences on airplanes does wonders to your uncouncious fears.

3. Flying upper classes

This is a lot harder to do, depending on your financial condition. I do my best to pick a good seat for my flight, hunt for upgrades, use miles to get business/first tickets. Flying on upper classes does wonders to "soften" your experience.

[1] Some examples:

- Airbus flap actuators are usually very noisy and you can hear them if you sit close to the wings.

- Hydraulic actuators on some Airbus models make a barking noise.

- While sitting upfront on smaller planes, you can get some vibration right after liftoff due to the front landing gear spinning before it is retracted.

[2] Suggested channels:

Captain Joe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC88tlMjiS7kf8uhPWyBTn_A

Mentour Pilot: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwpHKudUkP5tNgmMdexB3ow