141–150 of 266 posts
Pilots are like dentists: When they are about to do some work, and they tell you "it is going to hurt a little" you can be sure it is going to feel like hell. So when a pilot tells you you will get some light turbulence, you can be sure it is going to shake like crazy.
That said, I think it's actually rational to have a fear of flying. It's unnatural and we've only been doing it a hundred years, so our bodies naturally say "this is weird and dangerous."
I think the best thing to do is to use the time flying as an exercise in letting go of the desire to control. Barring you doing something to force a landing, you literally cannot control anything about the outcome of your flight as a passenger.
So, the moment the door closes on your flight, you should focus on how everything following is out of your control. I find it liberating.
Basically doing some instruction in a flight simulator with a real instructor seemed to help her out quite a bit when nothing else seemed to work.
United used to have a feature called "From the Flight Deck" where you could listen to live radio communications between your pilots and air traffic control. Unfortunately, it's now only available on a few routes and planes: https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/united-airlines-mileageplus/... I found it very comforting to listen to it during an entire flight, because you could find out what the pilots of your flight were a…
As a pilot myself, I loved that feature. Too bad they discontinued it, so there is no good reason for me to fly United anymore :)
I had a fear of flying, which I overcame completely by accident: I started playing a realistic flight sim for a while. Because it was realistic, I had to learn the basics of how to actually fly a plane. It taught me two things: what some of the noises, the vibrations, and the movements were; and how hard it is to actually crash a plane. Once you made it in the air, you'll want to try crashing your plane in the game (…
It's a good thing you didn't try flying a virtual helicopter then, those things are deathtraps. I have some experience flying the KA-50 "Black Shark" in DCS and before you get a feel for it is very easy to make your rotors bump into one another and break (mostly due to its weird double rotor), get in a vortex ring state, or simply bump into stuff horizontally while landing.
Crashing is still fun, it just waaaay easier than with a plane. At least the board computer will whisper sweet nothings to you after you've lost most of your rotors and are once again falling like a brick... "watch EKRAN".
United used to have a feature called "From the Flight Deck" where you could listen to live radio communications between your pilots and air traffic control. Unfortunately, it's now only available on a few routes and planes: https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/united-airlines-mileageplus/... I found it very comforting to listen to it during an entire flight, because you could find out what the pilots of your flight were a…
I didn't use to fear flying until I got my first (and only) panic attack (not in a plane).
The trick I used to fight anxiety was walking around and it always worked for calming me down. But guess what, you cannot get for a walk on a plane so I started fear flights for a fear I might get a panic attack. Long story short after lots of workarounds and googling I found that there's a company called psious[1] (not affiliated with them other than using their product).
You cannot use their system on your own (I asked) you only use it with a psychologist/psychotherapist. Basically it works by exposing you to a simulated flight through VR and the psychotherapist helps you with tools like diaphragmatic breathing [2] and cognitive behavioral therapy [3] to ease your anxiety levels.
To be 100% open/clear I haven't flown yet since I started the therapy but I can tell my mindset has changed from trying to avoid flights at any cost to having booked flights and waiting (a bit anxiously :) but nowhere near at the paralyzing level) to actually fly.
[2] https://www.cmhc.utexas.edu/stressrecess/Level_Two/breathing...
[3]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
Edit: formatting
That sounds like some kind of mild case of PTSD to me. It's not always super-dramatic shell shock or trauma from war; any fearful event can give you some level of post-traumatic stress. When I was twenty I was run over by a van running a red light and dragged along the road a good way. I was fine, but after that I had a very hard time crossing the street without getting jumpy and having my hair stand on end. If somebody edged out into the intersection to turn left instead of waiting behind the line, it made me freak out and run across or even turn back. It was an extremely physical sensation, like I was losing control of my body with fear. It looked really silly to other people, and I was kind of embarrassed.
I'm fine now. Even going to Southeast Asia and crossing the chaotic roads there which have no signals isn't frightening, where people must steadily walk through a mass of still-moving traffic. I think it was a case of exposure. I had to keep going out there and exposing myself to something I was afraid of. I lived in New York back then, so I was obviously exposed to it countless times every day as a matter of course. Flying might be different because it just happens so much more infrequently.
In any case, I'm not a professional; I hope you'll excuse my amateurish diagnosis and personal anecdotes. I'd recommend talking to somebody with training about your situation and seeing what they think. Don't be embarrassed because this isn't the kind of harrowing event typically associated with post-traumatic stress. It can happen at a lower intensity with everyday fears too.