Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?

I find that reading, or movies completely relax me because it takes my mind away from thinking about bad things that might happen, which are not in my control.

Maybe a puzzle, sudoku, cross word?

what is something you enjoy most? Find that out, and carry it with you.

get a better boarding position, pay if you have to. settle down, relax, stay hydrated, get some noise cancelling headphones.

if watching out the window makes it worse, dont do it. focus on whatever activity you picked up.

if a turbulence happens, my thinking goes like this - "if this were a bus or a car, would this level of turbulence make me worried?", the answer is always No. if it gets worse, allow yourself to be scared. dont hold it back, say it out loud to your neighbor or to yourself --- "ooh, that was rough. " verbalizing our fears help us stay less panicked.

hope my tips help you.

travel safe and enjoy the wide open skies

Although it seems dangerous, turbulence is really nothing to be afraid of. I would recommend reading either Flying with Confidence [0] or SOAR [1] to learn more.

Think about how often pilots and flight attendants fly and how routine every flight is for them. Commercial aviation is incredibly safe. Even in the very unlikely event that you experience a plane crash, it's quite likely that you survive that crash.

Consider these statistics[2]:

> "In 2016 there were about 163 aviation 'accidents' worldwide, including those involving business jets and military transports as well as jet and propeller airliners.

A grand total of 24 resulted in fatalities, meaning only about 15 per cent of all accidents in this grouping - which themselves are extremely rare events - actually resulted in lives being lost."

I wouldn't recommend avoiding flying since that won't do anything to help your phobia. In the past 3 months I've gone on 11 flights and have 3 more planned next month. I'm actively working on getting over my phobia by flying often so that my brain gets desensitized to flying and doesn't perceive it as a threat.

You can also talk to your physician about your fear of flying and they'll most likely prescribe you something like Xanax to help. There are lots of tools out there to help you get over your fear and I'm confident you'll find something to help you :)

[0] https://www.amazon.com/Flying-Confidence-proven-programme-fl... [1] https://www.amazon.com/Soar-Breakthrough-Treatment-Fear-Flyi... [2] https://www.thesun.co.uk/travel/2535002/plane-crash-survival...

1. I picture what will happen as soon as I land: who will pick me up or where I will go. Rental car? Hotel? Meeting? Dinner? I just keep picturing what happens after the flight.

2. Reading and podcasts don't help me much as my anxiety will just make me not pay attention. What does work is focused work (writing, programming) with loud music.

3. I always watch the flight attendants for signs of fear. Not once have I seen any, even through pretty rough turbulence. I just focus on their faces to look for anything that might make me nervous (this could, of course, backfire).

4. One strange thing that really helped me was flying in a small plane through bumpy weather. I could see out of the front window in the cockpit from where I was sitting and, for some reason, it was much more fun than it was scary. We weren't heading for a mountain, we weren't that high up, all was OK.

5. I've been told that if the plane rips open for some reason, you immediately pass out from the low pressure so all of the things you're fearing - falling from the sky, hanging on for dear life - won't actually be experienced, worst case. Other crashes are just straight into a mountain or water, in which case you're unlikely to survive. You mentioned not being afraid of dying, which is my feeling as well, so those are comforting thoughts, in a morbid sense.

6. I overheard a pilot talking to a woman on one of my flights and he said that the absolute best way to overcome this fear is to go take a flight lesson or some kind of class that lets you pilot a plane, even for a few minutes. I have not tried this but I'd like to.

One is that, flight attendants develop reflexes in response to turbulence, so for it to send 2 of them to the floor it must have been some extremely intense and sudden turbulence.

My second thought is that perhaps one of the greatest sources of your anxiety in that situation was seeing them hit the floor. They’re in a position of authority, part of their job is to make passengers feel safe and to protect them if anything goes wrong. And you just saw the people in that role hit the floor and become vulnerable in a moment of extreme duress.

I would suggest letting the airline know during check-in that you have an irrational fear of flying due to this incident. This will cause the attendants in your class to be debriefed on your condition (this is a daily occurrence for them), and they’ll often give you some extra attention during turbulence, or have the pilot make longer or more frequent announcements reassuring passengers during turbulence.

Another thing I might suggest is meeting up with current or former flight attendants in person. Let them know you’re trying to overcome an irrational fear of flying, and they’ll probably have some stories to tell, and I think you might find that reassuring.

You may have already seen most of the world, but your daughter likely hasn’t, and you likewise have yet to see most of it together with her. So I hope you’re able to overcome this fear, because the world’s cities and topography may not have changed much, but there’s still a whole world of new experiences out there. :) good luck!