pg learned hang gliding to deal with this. The story is at the end of https://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/05/magazine/y-combinator-sil....
Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
11–20 of 266 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#12I had a fear of flying, which I overcame completely by accident: I started playing a realistic flight sim for a while. Because it was realistic, I had to learn the basics of how to actually fly a plane.
It taught me two things: what some of the noises, the vibrations, and the movements were; and how hard it is to actually crash a plane. Once you made it in the air, you'll want to try crashing your plane in the game (explosions! fun!), and it will be undoubtedly harder than you imagine.
I now have zero fear of flying. Before playing the sim, I knew rationally what you're also pointing out - that flying is extremely safe, yet I was still afraid. But after playing the sim, I actually believed it.
It's been probably 10 years since I played the simulator, but the effects last.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#13Same thing. I flew around the world dozens of times and my fear developed gradually over time. In the same way yours did, by experiencing some scary incidents. I don't have a cure for myself so I obviously don't have one for you, but here are some ideas: 1. Look at how many flights work out well https://flightaware.com/live/ there's something like a million people in the air at any given time. It's extremely unlikely…
That's fairly interesting that the fear developed over time. The conventional wisdom is that repeated exposure makes things familiar and in turn would lessen any fear you would have of the thing.
I wonder if "developed fear" would be worth studying.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#14Not sure if this is of any help or not but I went through a short period of extreme fear of flying. I overcame it, I believe, because of what I would have to give up if I took the decision never to fly again. If this is an option for you and it would not negatively impact your life then, of course, you simply do not need to fly again.
For me that was not an option; it would have seriously negatively impacted my life and so once I had made that decision it became easier, actually fun, to fly again.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#15There's a reason alcohol is so generously consumed in airplanes and airports. Obviously you don't want to show up at a rental car counter or business meeting stinking drunk, but it's amazing what just one drink can do for your nerves.
For dealing with turbulence, I gain an amazing amount of comfort by holding onto something rigid- the armrest, the tray table, or if all else fails the front of the seat between the legs. The higher brain functions know better, but this seems to soothe the beast within.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#16Planes don't fall, they glide. Also, dropping a few feet when you're at 20,000' to 40,000' is a small change.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#17I don’t remember the official name for it, but one common technique to overcome all sorts of fears is to progressively visualize the experience.
For your flying example, that might mean to sit and think about just packing for a trip. How does that make you feel?
Then think about driving to the airport. How does that feel?
Then think about boarding the airplane.
Then think about flying calmly.
Finally, think about really rough turbulence.
The idea is to think about each step several times (over many weeks/months) until you are progressively more and more comfortable with the entire process. Often, anxiety about a specific event (turbulent flying) will start well before you experience the turbulence - so by progressively visualizing each step in the process, your mind will begin to better control your body over the entire experience.
This process works for all types of fears: spiders, bridges, going underwater, etc.
However! I’m not a professional - so if it is really bad, then I would recommend going to a therapist - even for just a few sessions - and they can better walk you through the process. Search for “CBT in [your area]” if you don’t know where to start.
Also - if you can’t get over it with just mental exercises, and you really need to fly somewhere - a doctor can prescribe medication that will relax you for the flight (though there are potential side effects - including addiction - so talk that over with your doctor).
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#18pg learned hang gliding to deal with this. The story is at the end of https://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/05/magazine/y-combinator-sil... .
Hey hey! Hang gliding! Anyone reading this comment, I highly recommend learning how to do it.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#19Nobody has a fear of flying. You have a fear of being out of control, and you have a fear of dying.
But you have no control, and you're going to die. So both fears are irrational.
How do you defeat them? Nobody else owns your brain. It's your brain. People condition you with the things they say and teach you, but it's still yours. Re-wire it. It's no different than operating your limbs, in a manner of speaking. The connections are there, you just need to use them.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?
#20No one else has mentioned this, but have you considered upgrading your class of service to premium economy or business (if possible)? I find that my baseline anxiety is far higher after dealing with boarding procedures, jockeying for overhead space, and cramming into a tiny middle seat with my knees touching the seat in front of me than when coddled in first class. The entire pre-flight experience/lack of personal space is (for me) so anxiety provoking that calming myself down for the flight is difficult. It's an expensive fix, but maybe worth exploring if you're flying infrequently. Also worth noting that I'm a 6'2", 220lb person, so YMMV regarding necessary personal space.
I also had the luck with learning about flight dynamics, airplanes, and how most unpleasant sensations during flight are well within operational parameters for an aircraft.