Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

11–20 of 41 posts

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#11

Post by pvg »

tptacek wrote: post #9
sadamznintern wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've thought about this a bunch. I think the reasons are: * Mediocre IQ. * Lack of grit and persistence that I can't develop * Natural lack of charisma A combination of all of these make me very unhappy and very poor.

I want to be careful about doing Internet psych diagnosis, but you sound (from your previous comments) like you may be somewhere on the spectrum of depression/anxiety. Have you thought about talking to a professional? I have no idea what my IQ is. I definitely know what my present limitations are, and I think about them a lot (I'm a little obsessed by the limits on my willpower that keep me from e.g. spending 8 conse…

because I have a saved search for "IQ" (historically, "IQ" has been a reliably marker for seriously gross threads)

Wait, what? How many of those do you have? That seems like way more work than abstract algebra.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#12

Post by sadamznintern »

tptacek wrote: post #9
sadamznintern wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've thought about this a bunch. I think the reasons are: * Mediocre IQ. * Lack of grit and persistence that I can't develop * Natural lack of charisma A combination of all of these make me very unhappy and very poor.

I want to be careful about doing Internet psych diagnosis, but you sound (from your previous comments) like you may be somewhere on the spectrum of depression/anxiety. Have you thought about talking to a professional? I have no idea what my IQ is. I definitely know what my present limitations are, and I think about them a lot (I'm a little obsessed by the limits on my willpower that keep me from e.g. spending 8 conse…

>I try to arrange my work so that my uphill climbs are always for a reason. I think this is a healthier attitude than trying to gauge some very-probably-fictitious intrinsic "IQ" attribute to find my place in the world.

That's probably a decent strategy overall but as someone that can't pass Google HC I don't see how that would help.

I think I'm pretty mediocre at all of the things that might be lucrative and really bad at everything else.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#13

Post by [deleted] »

OrwellianChild wrote: post #10

Taking your "Sad Amazon Intern" handle at face value, do NOT use the experience of peers at Amazon as a benchmark for success in life, career, or anything else. It is a very intense place with a very particular definition of "success". Shop around for other companies to work for, big and small. You may just find that you can make a larger impact, get more visibility, and feel more rewarded working for someone else.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#14

Post by tptacek »

pvg wrote: post #11
tptacek wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I want to be careful about doing Internet psych diagnosis, but you sound (from your previous comments) like you may be somewhere on the spectrum of depression/anxiety. Have you thought about talking to a professional? I have no idea what my IQ is. I definitely know what my present limitations are, and I think about them a lot (I'm a little obsessed by the limits on my willpower that keep me from e.g. spending 8 conse…

because I have a saved search for "IQ" (historically, "IQ" has been a reliably marker for seriously gross threads) Wait, what? How many of those do you have? That seems like way more work than abstract algebra.

A lot. I automated it awhile ago.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#15

Post by tptacek »

sadamznintern wrote: post #12
tptacek wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I want to be careful about doing Internet psych diagnosis, but you sound (from your previous comments) like you may be somewhere on the spectrum of depression/anxiety. Have you thought about talking to a professional? I have no idea what my IQ is. I definitely know what my present limitations are, and I think about them a lot (I'm a little obsessed by the limits on my willpower that keep me from e.g. spending 8 conse…

>I try to arrange my work so that my uphill climbs are always for a reason. I think this is a healthier attitude than trying to gauge some very-probably-fictitious intrinsic "IQ" attribute to find my place in the world. That's probably a decent strategy overall but as someone that can't pass Google HC I don't see how that would help. I think I'm pretty mediocre at all of the things that might be lucrative and really…

My subfield, software security, is so full of people that tried to get a job at Google and failed that it became a running joke. Some extremely well-known people in the field number among them. If you're evaluating your life by whether you can pass an interview loop at Google or Facebook, you're doing something wrong.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#16

Post by sadamznintern »

tptacek wrote: post #15
sadamznintern wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I try to arrange my work so that my uphill climbs are always for a reason. I think this is a healthier attitude than trying to gauge some very-probably-fictitious intrinsic "IQ" attribute to find my place in the world. That's probably a decent strategy overall but as someone that can't pass Google HC I don't see how that would help. I think I'm pretty mediocre at all of the things that might be lucrative and really…

My subfield, software security, is so full of people that tried to get a job at Google and failed that it became a running joke. Some extremely well-known people in the field number among them. If you're evaluating your life by whether you can pass an interview loop at Google or Facebook, you're doing something wrong.

I mean, I'm still making less (around 80% of what they make or less) than them. And I will for the next 4-5 years if I can hack it at Amazon FT.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#17

Post by tptacek »

sadamznintern wrote: post #16
tptacek wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My subfield, software security, is so full of people that tried to get a job at Google and failed that it became a running joke. Some extremely well-known people in the field number among them. If you're evaluating your life by whether you can pass an interview loop at Google or Facebook, you're doing something wrong.

I mean, I'm still making less (around 80% of what they make or less) than them. And I will for the next 4-5 years if I can hack it at Amazon FT.

If you are typical intern age and freaking out over your income over the next 4-5 years, you are also probably doing something wrong.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#18

Post by sadamznintern »

tptacek wrote: post #17
sadamznintern wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, I'm still making less (around 80% of what they make or less) than them. And I will for the next 4-5 years if I can hack it at Amazon FT.

If you are typical intern age and freaking out over your income over the next 4-5 years, you are also probably doing something wrong.

I’m 22. I’m seeing everyone I respect get TC over $180k and on. I don’t come close while working harder and being judged more harshly.

I can’t even leave. Everyone thinks I’m a joke because of my background and lack of pedigree. I’m never going to make up for my prior failures at this rate.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#19

Post by tptacek »

sadamznintern wrote: post #18
tptacek wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you are typical intern age and freaking out over your income over the next 4-5 years, you are also probably doing something wrong.

I’m 22. I’m seeing everyone I respect get TC over $180k and on. I don’t come close while working harder and being judged more harshly. I can’t even leave. Everyone thinks I’m a joke because of my background and lack of pedigree. I’m never going to make up for my prior failures at this rate.

Actually very few people think you're a joke, and none of the people who matter do. Mercifully, for most of us and for most of the time, most people don't think about us at all. But again: this sounds like pathological anxiety, not something a message board can help you with. There's no good reason to suffer; I think you would benefit from talking to someone who specializes in this stuff.

Re: Ask HN: How did you come to grips with your own mediocrity?

#20

Post by tjpp »

It sounds like you're going through a tough time right now and being overly critical of yourself. Therapy is not a bad idea, but you might also consider looking into some of the research on self-compassion. I believe all of the resources at http://self-compassion.org/ are free. Personally I spent a lot of time learning this by myself and it made a _huge_ difference in my life.
Post reply on HN