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Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

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Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#61

Post by 8ren »

Every new problem is hard. You are a beginner every time. Every dragon is a new dragon. If you already know how to defeat it, you should have built something to do it for you.

Your first line is revealing succeeded at some of the hardest interview processes in the world. That means you're supposed to be good, doesn't it? That's paralyzing. How can you know you'll be good at solving a problem you've never seen before? You need beginner's mind™.

The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/1422863/posts (note: just because he's incredibly successful doesn't mean it we should all try to be like him; but this quote does chime in with my own experience.)

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#62

Post by jacquesm »

Consider a complete change of career, if that is at all an option. I know that sounds pretty dramatic and drastic, but you've already changed jobs several times within the profession and that does not seem to solve anything.

Apparently your inspiration is at a very low tide and you don't seem to derive much enjoyment from your work.

This is not something you are going to 'fix' (unless you're just looking at the short term) through technical measures or tricks, your body is giving you a pretty strong signal and you really have to take it serious.

In the long term your inspiration and energy will return but you need to conserve what energy you have left to maintain your health and your relationships with other people, not to pour it in to some chunk of code unless that would give you the energy to do more.

It's very tricky to give you any solid advice without knowing you much better, please be careful.

I do not second the ADD responses in this thread, they do not mesh with your analysis of yourself in some particular respects, the thing that jumps out most at me is this: "every time I sit down to code my brain turns to mush" and the second is this "One possibility is that I'm not as good as I think I am", that means that even though you may not be 'burned out' you are definitely in the risk group for burning out.

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#63

Post by jewbacca »

derefr wrote: post #40
varjag wrote: post #37

I think it's a common pattern, only perhaps the magnitude is worse in your case. I observed it on myself as well on other programmers back when doing a project management stint. What helps me personally is having a notepad where I jolt down TODO items, to the most atomic level if possible. To give an idea what's on it here now: - probe for activity on the I2C bus - find the SIGCHLD problem - remove rectangle in the l…

When you know you need to "add feature X", what do you do? Write "itemize feature X" on your list, and then, when you come to it, sit there and think of a list of things to replace it with?

That's programming. Recursively specifying problems until they're defined unambiguously in terms of solved problems. When you've reached the level of the features of your language and tools... that's your program.

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#65

Post by loewenskind »

throwaway_stuck wrote: post #7
jaddison wrote: post #2

Burnout takes a lot of forms, has many stages and is felt differently by everyone. Are you happy with your job - or just the salary that you get paid? Take some time and think about your motives for staying where you are. Maybe you can look for advancement (challenge) that will help you to be renewed in your current job; maybe you simply need a change. If you do decide to move on to something new, I highly advise tak…

This is serial. I've lost a couple of jobs in a row from this. Luckily I still have a reputation earned from some years ago. Plus, I interview well. People still give me jobs. Managers don't seem to have a response here. In my experience most managers only have one bit of information devoted to programmer ability (ROCKSTAR xor SUCKS). They have alternately told me to try harder, or threatened then fired me. I had fel…

You took a sabbatical but you kept programming. That didn't address your burn out at all. You should have taken blacksmithing courses. :) It's not that they have reserve energy it's that they refresh themselves by changing modes.

Personally I'm pretty prone to burn out. I work as a developer and have lots of programming side projects I work on. My advantage is that I can sense the burn out and when it happens I stop all side projects and try to do mostly administrivia at work.

I did stay in one programming job while burned out for over 2 years (this was before I realized what was it was). I produced practically nothing in that time but the act of sitting there trying to force my way through made the burn out get gradually worse. I stepped completely away from programming for about 30 months to get over it.

Another thing that made my burnout worse at that company was that the environment was so incredibly awful. Are you sure you're actually happy where you are, or do you say that because you fear being fired again? I would have said (and if fact did tell someone) that I loved my job during those dark two years, but it was because I felt worthless and unable to get anything better. I wasn't trying to trick the person that I told, I was trying to trick myself into believing it.

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#66

Post by tfs »

aboodman wrote: post #59

I used to have something like this problem, and it turned out to be very simple: hunger. I had a bad habit of not eating when I was deeply into something (or deeply stressed), and my body would simply run out of fuel. I think there is something weird about my physiology that causes me to not notice hunger as much as others. So I wouldn't feel super hungry, but I'd get this spacey, apathetic, faded feeling and have tr…

Same thing with me. My mind just cannot pin point that it is hunger that is bothering me. Other than that, simple things like bad ventilation,or inadequate sleep can also be the cause. I think just some simple health neglects add up and you end up being like this. There might be no deeper cause to what you are facing.

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#67

Post by iliketosleep »

it sounds like you did well before, got too comfortable and now your mind has gone stale. you've lost that raw "do or die" motivation. i'm afraid it's not a problem you can think your way out of. you need to put yourself in a situation where you are forced to do what needs to be done, where you literally cannot AFFORD to slack off. it will bring you back in touch. you'll feel hungry.

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#68

Post by klaut »

throwaway_stuck wrote: post #9
klaut wrote: post #4

When I feel as you describe above I know it is time for a change (new job). The thing that bugs me though is that you say that you are happy with your current job - but maybe you are just lying to yourself (without realising it) because you feel comfortable?

My job is about as good as it gets. I believe in the work, the people are great, it's interesting and affects lots of people. The downside is the codebase is old and has problems, but I've seen far worse. Part of me is itching to strike out on my own but if I don't have the discipline to even do halfway well at a job like this, how am I going to deal with a startup?

But maybe programming is not your real passion? I am in a similar situation right now yet again. I saw that after a year (two years max) I get bored with my job and couldn't care less and then I start looking around, change jobs and the circle begins again. This time I realized that I need to break out of this pattern because it is leading to nowhere. I am scared to start on my own, but maybe it is just what i need? Maybe if I am out of my comfort I will be actually forced to be active and do things instead of thinking about them and complain. So, maybe starting on your own is something you actually need, as well?

Re: Ask HN: Underperforming, feeling stuck

#70

Post by nait »

Does the problem only occur when you're writing code at work? What I mean is if this is work related, perhaps you want check your mental model of the work and the results expected from you. For example: I spent too much time considering (most of the times unconsciously) what kind of solution is expected and how people would react to it. This sounds like an odd thing to do but it wasn't like I chose to do this. But it was a conscious decision to get rid of it and regain the initial (for lack of a better word) playfulness. And live with the consequences. Somehow it nests easily in a mind that serious work shouldn't be fun and is all about mindlessly meeting requirements. I find that it is important to not let this happen. So far the results have been pretty good for me.
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