In the cultural context where I come from (Estonia), using ones name while NOT being friends is a sure way to sound very passive aggressive.
Doing this in a formal dialogue pretty much guarantees that the person on the receiving end will consider the other party to be very much a dick.
I am pretty sure that it's not just Estonia, but Finland too.
Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
11–20 of 52 posts
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#12Earlier quoted context omitted.
For short messages, I open and close with the person's name. For longer messages, I pepper in the name at points where I feel they may need a reminder that I'm here to help or to emphasize that I care. You're right that if you overdo it, you can create a Stepford-Wives vibe, but if you write the way you speak, it should be pretty easy to avoid.
Why is it important to remind someone of their own name in the middle of a long conversation?
To prove you didn’t forget it?
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#13Interesting point about using a person's name. I've always associated that with a slightly patronising manner, which makes me wonder what're they after. An old boss used to drive me up the wall, as any vaguely difficult conversation he wanted to have would be peppered with my name - it can easily go too far and rapidly become false
I absolutely hate people using my name in conversation. As you say, it feels patronizing, and to me it also feels fake and manipulative, especially in the context of customer support.
It's interesting to me how much advice about communication involves using a person's name. Do most people like hearing their name dropped frequently in conversations with strangers or near-strangers? Or is this one of those weird unproven "truths of the business" that get repeated because they sound good rather than because there's hard data backing up their effectiveness?
(I am not saying no hard data exists; I've just never seen any and the anecdotes I've heard indicate the opposite, so I'm curious.)
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#14Interesting point about using a person's name. I've always associated that with a slightly patronising manner, which makes me wonder what're they after. An old boss used to drive me up the wall, as any vaguely difficult conversation he wanted to have would be peppered with my name - it can easily go too far and rapidly become false
If you are contacting a customer, and the customer was not expecting your communication, calling by name is an additional way to assure that the communication is not made by mistake.
Person to person, it should be used in moderation, like, well, anything else.
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#15The article raises some good points, but it's worth considering that even if you take note of everything written here and everything ever written about striking the right tone of voice as a customer service agent, you may still end up sounding patronising, repetitive or dismissive. Because your communication will often be surrounded by some wider context. Consumer services aimed at less technical customers are well-known for this sort of thing - addressed them by name? Check. Sprinkled in some positive words? Check. But none of that matters if you've gotten their name wrong or are replying in exactly the same tone to every customer in a public forum. Your attempts at improving communications just end up making people frustrated.
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#16The number of times I've been faced with condescending comments from developers of mobile and web apps here and on reddit is pretty amazing to me. The presumption of cluelessness on the part of most developers faced with any kind of non-praise feedback is stark and amazing. I can understand why it exists -- since the degree of cluelessness out there is quite amazing -- but it's pretty much anathema to anything in good customer service.
Could you just
Sorry, but that phrase is not necessarily softer. It can also be quite harsh!
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#17There is a POV baked into these suggestions that isn't called out. I would retitle the article "10 ways to Weaken your tone of voice." All of these are ways to make your voice less direct, less straightforward, more deferent. These can be good tools in your toolbox, but success in using them is entirely context-dependent.
Good point, but I thought it was very clear from the examples that these are aimed at pleasing existing customers in a support or consulting scenario. There's even an explicit warning about "No" that your company's bottom line comes first.
Agreed that a negotiating/sales scenario or a crisis management scenario require different strategies!
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#18What’s the real meaning behind the words they’re using? ... Put yourself in their shoes and understand the problem you need to solve. I've found it to my great advantage to let the customer know that I can (hold the ability), and that I will (choose to) help them. This needs to be spoken as well as using the correct tone. Nothing is more frustrating to a client than to feel like they are not being heard. Of course, y…
Following the 80/20 on everything. You'll get 80% of your business from 20% of your customers, and you'll get 80% of all problems from 20% of your customers. Figure out who is in the 20% of problem customers who isn't in the 20% of profit customers, and fire them. Even better if you can refer them to your competitors.
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#19There is a POV baked into these suggestions that isn't called out. I would retitle the article "10 ways to Weaken your tone of voice." All of these are ways to make your voice less direct, less straightforward, more deferent. These can be good tools in your toolbox, but success in using them is entirely context-dependent.
If you are customer-facing then you are not necessarily in a position of power. However, I've found success in getting the customer to listen and take action based on my recommendations by mirroring the mentioned tone and vocab. In this manner you essentially assume an indirect position of power without offending the customer.
I think the author is writing from this context.
Re: Hone your tone of voice: A linguistic perspective on how to talk to customers
#20Interesting point about using a person's name. I've always associated that with a slightly patronising manner, which makes me wonder what're they after. An old boss used to drive me up the wall, as any vaguely difficult conversation he wanted to have would be peppered with my name - it can easily go too far and rapidly become false
I absolutely hate people using my name in conversation. As you say, it feels patronizing, and to me it also feels fake and manipulative, especially in the context of customer support. It's interesting to me how much advice about communication involves using a person's name. Do most people like hearing their name dropped frequently in conversations with strangers or near-strangers? Or is this one of those weird unprov…
I feel similarly when someone uses my name more than feels natural, and I suspect my awareness of this being a persuasion technique has soured my response to others using it on me. I wonder about the technique's efficacy on people who are more or less aware of it.