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The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

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Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#131

Post by pixl97 »

ddebernardy wrote: post #96
btilly wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let me turn this around. As a parent, I think that teachers should pay attention to research on homework that says there is on average no academic benefit, but there is a huge cost in family conflict. You have enough time in the classroom to teach and provide practice time. Free family time up for what parents see best.

I'm no homework fan either, but in teachers' defense, when they don't assign much or any homework, the unfortunate outcome is that they get flamed by some parents (not all) for not giving more of it.

Why dont these parents realise they can assign as much 'homework' to their own kids as they want?

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#132

Post by bkmartin »

rayiner wrote: post #107
laurieg wrote: post #58

As someone considering starting a family, I have literally no idea what parenting is anymore. When I was younger I was pretty much left to my own devices, sent off to play with my brother and then packed off to school when old enough. My parents were too busy working, cooking and cleaning to do much fancy extra curricular stuff. I do wonder now what I should be doing to prepare for parenthood. I feel that perhaps it'…

I'm working on kid #2, and my takeaway is this: "parenting science" is like "nutritional science." It's almost entirely bullshit, and little to no progress has been made in the field ever. There is no use paying attention to it, other than doing/not doing the obvious things. (Don't eat too many calories; don't emotionally destroy your kids.) Your kids will turn out how they are going to turn out. Instinctively, you'l…

This is wholly and categorically untrue. Parenting today is much different than it was 100 years ago. The way we approach children, discipline children, and help them grow into their best selves has changed a lot. And it is based on lots of research. It is also based on all of the work that therapists do with adults after their parents have messed them up so bad with their horrible parenting. Every child will be their own adventure, personalities makes parenting every child different. But to say that there aren't guidelines and that you should just do whatever comes natural is dangerous. Because beating children comes naturally to some people. Being passive aggressive or emotionally blunt with them can come naturally. Being an absent parent and not spending any time with them can come naturally as work gets in the way. If you are unsure then seeking professional help to make sure you have the basics covered is a great way to start.

Parenting is very much an art, but like all art, there is definitely a science backing it up.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#133

Post by tofflos »

marcell wrote: post #124
btilly wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let me turn this around. As a parent, I think that teachers should pay attention to research on homework that says there is on average no academic benefit, but there is a huge cost in family conflict. You have enough time in the classroom to teach and provide practice time. Free family time up for what parents see best.

> there is on average no academic benefit What? This sounds BS. If you don’t practice what you learn in school, how will you ever master it? Eg. How will you learn integration if you don’t do some practice problems?

Parent also wrote "You have enough time in the classroom to teach and provide practice time" so he/she agrees with you but argues that there is enough time for that practice to take place at school.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#134

Post by dragonwriter »

nybble41 wrote: post #122
dragonwriter wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would argue that parents (or legal guardians) should be held liable for damage caused by their minor children, period, without claiming that parents have an obligation to monitor their children 24/7. The idea that having children should be treated as a strict liability tort is...unusual. Without that treatment, the damages would need to stem from some other tort by the parent (such as negligence by failure to rea…

> The idea that having children should be treated as a strict liability tort is...unusual. Yes, but that isn't what I was saying. "Having children" is not the tort. Damaging others' property is the tort. The parents are liable because it was their child that caused the damage. The child is their responsibility. What the child does, they did. > or a tort by the child with a rule that parents are liable for the childre…

> The legal duty which was failed in this case is the duty to not damage others' property.

One doesn't have such a duty, otherwise we wouldn't have specific torts at all, you'd just jump straight to damages.

> You do have that, right?

No, the closest thing to that is general negligence, where you owe a duty of reasonable care. Damages resulting despite exercise of reasonable care (other than where a strict liability tort exists) do not generally create legal liability.

> Or are property owners simply expected to absorb the cost of accidental damage no matter who was responsible?

If no breach of a legal duty occurs that produces the accident, yes, people are, in general, expected to absorb damages.

> I argue that it is the only viable alternative.

But the argument you make for that position is inconsistent with the results in reality.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#135

Post by LyndsySimon »

marcell wrote: post #124
btilly wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let me turn this around. As a parent, I think that teachers should pay attention to research on homework that says there is on average no academic benefit, but there is a huge cost in family conflict. You have enough time in the classroom to teach and provide practice time. Free family time up for what parents see best.

> there is on average no academic benefit What? This sounds BS. If you don’t practice what you learn in school, how will you ever master it? Eg. How will you learn integration if you don’t do some practice problems?

Not everyone needs that practice to master concepts. There is a point at which homework becomes a burden with no academic payoff for every person, depending on their understanding of the topic.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#136

Post by LyndsySimon »

seanmcdirmid wrote: post #104
georgeecollins wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My child goes to a very good school and they often teach math "upside down". In this method, the homework is to watch the teacher give a recorded lecture. Then, in class they work on the homework (math problems) while the teacher goes around watching them work and helping them with the parts they don't understand. He loves that method and seems to lean a lot from it.

Flipped classrooms are increasingly common in universities as well, but the 4 hours of outside work for every hour of class still applies.

Why does it still apply?

If the work is assigned in the beginning, what's stopping them from skimming it to make sure they understand it, and if they do, simply not bothering to watch the lectures?

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#137

Post by commandlinefan »

laurieg wrote: post #58

As someone considering starting a family, I have literally no idea what parenting is anymore. When I was younger I was pretty much left to my own devices, sent off to play with my brother and then packed off to school when old enough. My parents were too busy working, cooking and cleaning to do much fancy extra curricular stuff. I do wonder now what I should be doing to prepare for parenthood. I feel that perhaps it'…

> As someone considering starting a family, I have literally no idea what parenting is anymore.

I started a family almost 15 years ago, and I'm still wondering myself. On the one hand, I can see firsthand how competitive the world is - much more competitive than it was when I was growing up - and I figure the least I can do is prepare my kids for the tidal wave of adulthood that's going to crash into them in another ten years or so. I'm encouraging them to participate in (and supporting them in, even though it's starting to break the bank) as much extracurricular stuff as possible, so their college applications look good, but on the other hand, I worry about stressing them out so hard that they don't feel like they ever had time to enjoy being children. As a parent, I feel like I'm walking a fine line between preparing them for the world and protecting them from it.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#138

Post by cwbrandsma »

bkmartin wrote: post #132
rayiner wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm working on kid #2, and my takeaway is this: "parenting science" is like "nutritional science." It's almost entirely bullshit, and little to no progress has been made in the field ever. There is no use paying attention to it, other than doing/not doing the obvious things. (Don't eat too many calories; don't emotionally destroy your kids.) Your kids will turn out how they are going to turn out. Instinctively, you'l…

This is wholly and categorically untrue. Parenting today is much different than it was 100 years ago. The way we approach children, discipline children, and help them grow into their best selves has changed a lot. And it is based on lots of research. It is also based on all of the work that therapists do with adults after their parents have messed them up so bad with their horrible parenting. Every child will be thei…

Lets talk about the science then. Has it been published? Has it been reproduced? That second step is the bane of many psychology studies, in that the results cannot be reproduced, assuming someone tries at all. That is a signature step in the scientific process that is often not followed. We see a study and then blindly follow it as fact.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#139

Post by ddebernardy »

pixl97 wrote: post #131
ddebernardy wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm no homework fan either, but in teachers' defense, when they don't assign much or any homework, the unfortunate outcome is that they get flamed by some parents (not all) for not giving more of it.

Why dont these parents realise they can assign as much 'homework' to their own kids as they want?

No idea... But I could come up with a few hypothesis off the top of my head. Perhaps they were assigned homework as kids and haven't ever wondered if it was good or bad for their own education. Or, slightly more precisely, they think working hard at school (or later in life) means taking and completing work at home. Or, they're not as well informed on the topic as to what the research is suggesting.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#140

Post by vkou »

pixl97 wrote: post #131
ddebernardy wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm no homework fan either, but in teachers' defense, when they don't assign much or any homework, the unfortunate outcome is that they get flamed by some parents (not all) for not giving more of it.

Why dont these parents realise they can assign as much 'homework' to their own kids as they want?

Because they feel it's the teacher's job to educate their kids.
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