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The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

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Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#31

Post by ginko »

Angostura wrote: post #6
jimhefferon wrote: post #2

I teach in a college. Many's the time I've been waiting to get into a classroom because the folks in there are wrapping up an exam, and students come out, instantly produce the phone, and I hear, "Hi mom, I did OK on the quiz, I think ..." That's too much.

I'm in the EU so can't read the article, but that doesn't feel like over-parenting. My daughter might do that, but she's a pretty independent lass, at age 14 currently wandering around central London or Camden market somewhere as part of her summer holidays - not sure where.

>I'm in the EU so can't read the article

https://text.npr.org/s.php?sId=628042168

The article ID in the link can be used in the text only site.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#32

Post by fosco »

burfog wrote: post #24
christofosho wrote: post #11

As a teacher of ages 4 up until 14, I think parents and people in general need to be concious toward what constitutes "over" parenting. Too often we as teachers see students that are behaving poorly, or having more trouble in school, because they do not have enough help or consistency at home. Parents reading articles like this might take them too literally and step too far from their child's life. Parenting should b…

There is a slightly different way to interpret that. Some students, despite being in your classroom, are really being homeschooled. For example, my wife and I both got extra assignments from our parents. The parents aren't just helping. The parents are teaching. You aren't trusted to teach. Other students have parents that trust you to teach. Your job is to teach, and these parents expect you to do it. In theory, the…

I find this perspective interesting and I think this discussion needs to be taken further as I think it is unclear on both sides what the final expectations are to be upon completion of class/grade.

that being said, I am concerned that some parents expect that teachers are also doing the 'parenting' side of things which may be unrealistic. I think that in most public schools (the one I went to) some parenting needs to be executed by teachers otherwise a small handful of kids could derail any teaching getting done in the first place.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#33

Post by ams6110 »

guard0g wrote: post #20

What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college?

I will help with homework. Proofread a paper, point out clumsy sentences or poor reasoning. Suggest ways to improve a project. Help work through a math problem or proof, to the extent I can. Demonstrate that the answers can often be found by simply reading the textbook or other study materials. For one of my kids I even employed a math tutor when he was struggling.

But actually do homework for them? No.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#34

Post by bunderbunder »

tehabe wrote: post #28
ajross wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FWIW: A "look at those crazy americans!" color story by a foreign journalist may, y'know, not be the most authoritative source for this kind of thing. Obviously those products exist (and probably do in Germany too) and I'm sure that parent who got in trouble was a real incident. Nonetheless those of us actually raising children in this country don't actually do that stuff. Chill.

Of course it is colourful, but the reporter was a parent too and neighbours wondered why they let their children play unsupervised outside. In Germany a court just ruled that a three year old can go alone to the bath room and their parents don't have to check on them. The child set the bath room under water and someone wanted the parents to be liable. Also some years ago, I saw a video from a school parking lot, wher…

With how US geography is, it would be impossible in most communities to build schools such that kids can easily go there by themselves. Even in cities of >250,000 people, it's common for there to be no sidewalks, and possibly not even any proper crosswalks, such that it's very difficult to get around without driving a car.

In denser cities, though, you do tend to see neighborhood schools instead of larger, more centralized schools.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#35

Post by aiyodev »

guard0g wrote: post #20

What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college?

Parents who understand what “tracking” is. If you aren’t, you’re setting your child up for failure.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#36

Post by billbrown »

jimhefferon wrote: post #2

I teach in a college. Many's the time I've been waiting to get into a classroom because the folks in there are wrapping up an exam, and students come out, instantly produce the phone, and I hear, "Hi mom, I did OK on the quiz, I think ..." That's too much.

This is the peril of anecdotes. You took a momentary observation and wrote a whole narrative surrounding it. How do you know that this is a parental tether? Maybe she had spoken to her mother the night before and expressed some worry about that particular quiz. The call you heard was just a follow up and she is otherwise fully independent.

(I catch myself doing this frequently: that couple's marriage is in trouble—they're not even talking over dinner, that driver is on his phone scrolling through Facebook probably, etc. Those stories may be true but there's perfectly reasonable alternatives that would look exactly the same.)

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#37

Post by TeMPOraL »

onemoresoop wrote: post #27
ajross wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FWIW: A "look at those crazy americans!" color story by a foreign journalist may, y'know, not be the most authoritative source for this kind of thing. Obviously those products exist (and probably do in Germany too) and I'm sure that parent who got in trouble was a real incident. Nonetheless those of us actually raising children in this country don't actually do that stuff. Chill.

You may not do this but it is a trend nonetheless and we should try to understand it, discuss it...

...and kill it, before it grows out of control.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#38

Post by linuxftw »

jimhefferon wrote: post #2

I teach in a college. Many's the time I've been waiting to get into a classroom because the folks in there are wrapping up an exam, and students come out, instantly produce the phone, and I hear, "Hi mom, I did OK on the quiz, I think ..." That's too much.

I think this is a symptom that today's children don't have the same type of bond with their peers as previous generations. Yesteryear, kids would have discussed classwork with their friends and classmates. All socialization has been removed from classrooms, outside of 'group activities.'

The only people they know how to talk to are their parents.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#39

Post by jkern »

guard0g wrote: post #20

What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college?

I'm not a parent but maybe this is a result of an increasingly competitive landscape for kids these days. I can easily see parents worried more about their kids falling behind in ways that institutions care about.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#40

Post by war1025 »

aiyodev wrote: post #35
guard0g wrote: post #20

What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college?

Parents who understand what “tracking” is. If you aren’t, you’re setting your child up for failure.

Sounds like a pretty wild rat race you're in.
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