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The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

npr.org

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Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#11

Post by christofosho »

As a teacher of ages 4 up until 14, I think parents and people in general need to be concious toward what constitutes "over" parenting. Too often we as teachers see students that are behaving poorly, or having more trouble in school, because they do not have enough help or consistency at home. Parents reading articles like this might take them too literally and step too far from their child's life. Parenting should be a balance. You should know, as a parent, what is happening with your child's schooling, and be there to help. But you should not micromanage the child. Parent involvement leads to more academic confidence and success[1], and more behavioural[2] success.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3020099/ [2] https://steinhardt.nyu.edu/scmsAdmin/media/users/sm6/McCormi...

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#12

Post by jknoepfler »

I'd expect NPR to not use the word "crisis" in this context. There no obvious juncture, no imminent, looming problem that demands decisive action. There's just yet another op-ed pop-psyche piece about kids failing to learn "how to adult."

I'm not surprised by the existence of the article, it's as inevitable as my curmudgeonly response. I'm surprised NPR stooped to publishing it.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#13

Post by solidr53 »

donovanh wrote: post #3
jimhefferon wrote: post #2

I teach in a college. Many's the time I've been waiting to get into a classroom because the folks in there are wrapping up an exam, and students come out, instantly produce the phone, and I hear, "Hi mom, I did OK on the quiz, I think ..." That's too much.

What's wrong with that?

There is nothing wrong with that!

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#15

Post by tarr11 »

I'm not convinced this is a real problem. The term helicopter parenting was first used in 1990 [0] New Yorker article on same topic from 2008 [1]

Articles and posts like this are chock-full of anecdotes and head-nodding, but short on studies or other data to even correlate against. Seems like this "crisis" has been happening for a long time.

Is there a longitudinal study on children who have been "helicopter parented?" vs those who were raised "free-range"?

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

[1] https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/11/17/the-child-trap

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#16

Post by MaxBarraclough »

thorell wrote: post #14

I think a lot of parents don't know how to effectively parent and make up for that with enthusiasm. Too much involvement, not enough parenting. I am guilty of this.

Which leads to the question of how one teaches general parenting skill.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#17

Post by tcfunk »

jknoepfler wrote: post #12

I'd expect NPR to not use the word "crisis" in this context. There no obvious juncture, no imminent, looming problem that demands decisive action. There's just yet another op-ed pop-psyche piece about kids failing to learn "how to adult." I'm not surprised by the existence of the article, it's as inevitable as my curmudgeonly response. I'm surprised NPR stooped to publishing it.

Yeah I was also thinking the term crisis was a bit of a stretch here. 'Over-Parenting Crisis' is in quotes, however, so I'm wondering if they've taken that title from one of the books?

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#18

Post by finaliteration »

It’s a difficult balance to strike and it’s easy to judge parents either way. I’m plenty guilty of being on both sides as a parent. My particular challenge, however, stems from PTSD from childhood abuse and neglect, so I feel even -more- pressure to give my child everything she needs and wants because I don’t want her to feel as alone and unwanted as I did. But I do worry that comes at the price of her independence, which is something else I definitely don’t want to take away from her.

The paradoxical thing for me is that much of what I’ve achieved has come about because I was forced to do things on my own and fend for myself. It built a lot of “character” but at the same time I’m not anywhere near happy or content.

Re: The 'Over-Parenting Crisis' in School and at Home (2015)

#19

Post by dragontamer »

jimhefferon wrote: post #2

I teach in a college. Many's the time I've been waiting to get into a classroom because the folks in there are wrapping up an exam, and students come out, instantly produce the phone, and I hear, "Hi mom, I did OK on the quiz, I think ..." That's too much.

I don't see anything wrong with a kid (or even an adult) having a strong relationship with their parents.

I had a flatmate who talked with her mom every night. Literally every night. For hours. She was just close with her family. It wasn't like she was at school or anything, we were both grown adults with working lives.

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