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Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

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Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#81

Post by Fnoord »

Cthulhu_ wrote: post #69
Fnoord wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But having this label may empower them and help them be more in control of their life. The word has meaning. It certainly does, and although the wait lists are long here in NL, I can still recommend people who suspect they have autism to investigate it (via professionals). Its been roughly a 10 months ago since I had my diagnosis, and I learned so much ever since: * My partner (then undiagnosed) went to a group of…

Your last point is also true for ADHD, which expresses itself differently in men and women. My GF only got an official diagnosis at age 35, and she finally has some peace and stability in her head thanks to the medication she's now getting. She used to be labeled a difficult or naughty child growing up, and got into a lot of shit for it. At least her son was diagnosed a lot earlier, he's now getting medication and ex…

ADHD and autism are very much related. A friend of mine who has ASD and ADHD diagnosis (and gets meds for her ADHD) told me there's talks in the field about combining the two.

My GF has an ASD diagnosis, her sister ADHD, and her brother and mother lead a very secluded life and are in our opinion fit for an ASD diagnosis. It runs in the family, so to say. Her sister also gets checked for ASD however she's quite "different" from the other ones mentioned.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#82

Post by freeflight »

mockingbirdy wrote: post #25
vinceguidry wrote: post #10

Since she didn't seek out a diagnosis, her actual pathology is still up in the air and I personally don't think autism is a good fit. The fact of the matter is, empathy can be a hard thing to develop, and I think many people's upbringings can cause it to not fully develop even into adulthood. I remember at one point sometime around the age of 20 I felt like there was something I was missing. I've always had a pretty…

> it's like the cognitive part of your brain just isn't connected to the emotional part I have this problem. Most of the time I call it autism for convenience although I know it isn't accurate. Deficient/Immature emotional processing is a better phrase that is more accurate. I think that development issues in the psyche can lead to delays in areas like emotional processing and theory of mind. Oftentimes I have to sim…

> Oftentimes I have to simulate emotions because I don't feel them in myself and others.

But isn't that how empathy works? Imho people on the spectrum are often way too aware of their conscious thoughts, at least in contrast to "neurotypical" people.

Which just adds to their general problem of figuring out signals in all that noise, leading to misconceptions like the above.

Heck, I'd even argue having to think about your emotions is a bit of an advantage because then you can actually reasonably justify having them, in contrast to "just feeling them", which is afaik also not considered "healthy".

Nobody would want to be around a person who tends to get angry because he's sometimes just feeling like getting angry.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#83

Post by bloak »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #60
0xdragon wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This sounds like you doubt their legitimacy, it's not constructive. You don't get to decide whether they are selfish.

It seems reasonable to doubt a person's self-diagnosis of a condition that is difficult for a trained doctor to diagnose. Moreover, surely it's not "whether they are selfish" that's at issue but why?! Still further, if someone has a diagnosis of having different brain states that affect social interactions that doesn't mean one must accept deleterious interactions -- generally people don't accept violence because it'…

The interesting (well, I find it interesting) observation is that many people, particularly unintellectual people and people who are not philosophically inclined, are much more willing to accommodate someone who has (or seems to have) a named condition than someone who is different/weird/eccentric in a way that is not labelled thus.

For example: someone is slightly rude to a member of an ethnic minority. But then the same person is revealed to be struggling with some recognised neurological abnormality.

Another example: an elderly person with no kind of criminal record suddenly starts viewing some kind of illegal pornography. But then it is revealed that this change in behaviour might be caused by a prescription drug they were given.

Even in the case of violent crime people seem to make a bizarrely black-and-white distinction between a criminal who is a dangerous psychopath and one who is "evil".

Of course this observation is not a new one. See for example Beckert's monologue near the end of the 1931 German film "M". But the general public still doesn't see any problem with labelling some people as sick and some people as evil, even while they can't tell the difference.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#84

Post by tormeh »

pimmen wrote: post #27
JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

I have mild autism. I found a job I love where I just talk about math and computers all day. When I was a child, it was far worse though. Just like the author, all my life I’ve learned through experience how to talk and I started so many fights as s child and hurt so many friends with my words. The worst part is that those things still haunt me, I regularly lose sleep because I remember somethibg weird I did as a tee…

Socialising as performance. Ugh. Can relate.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#85

Post by strictfp »

kstenerud wrote: post #68
amorphid wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a mild form can be even more difficult. You appear different enough that people can tell, but your similar enough to other people that people don't understand the difference between you not getting it and simply misbehaving. When someone who will never get why they're being disciplined for what to them is acting normally keeps getting repeatedly punished, it's usually going to go poorly.

Yes, it is difficult and stunting. Your actions and body language and even voice land you deep in the uncanny valley, and that makes people uncomfortable, even though they can't articulate why. I've lost plenty of jobs because of it, and for the longest time I just figured people like to be mean, because when I was fired, nobody would ever say why, even when I pressed them for a reason. When I was shunned or excluded…

The sad truth is that most people just aren't very self-aware.

I had one wake-up call when I was called wierd by my training buddy, him question why I even took part in the classes we were taking. I asked him why, he responded that my T-shirt was cryptic.

After explaining the print to him (it was a film reference), he thought everything was fine again.

That's sadly the level some people operate on.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#86

Post by jawns »

It's worth mentioning that autistic women tend to be at risk of sexual exploitation.

Here's a little video by Kati Morton that explains how autism is different in girls/women than in boys/men. At 6:07, she talks about vulnerability to exploitation:

https://youtu.be/gpJ6bJHEc-k?t=6m7s

"Research also finds that females with ASD, since they tend to take things literally and are direct, that they can more easily fall victim to sexual exploitation, such as assault or getting stuck in an abusive relationship."

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#87

Post by [deleted] »

yenwel wrote: post #72

I think high functioning autism is just a DSM-isation (label as disease) of people with high introversion, neurotism and/or disagreeableness. Read "The silent power of introverts" by Susan Cain. People are people. We all evolved traits to fill our biological niche. Highly vocal people with little fears (extraverted and neurotypical) are just that: more "confident" and vocal about how great they are. Corporate sociopa…

[deleted]

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#88

Post by Cthulhu_ »

booleandilemma wrote: post #17
kryogen1c wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> One thing I learned early on in IT is: It is now how you fix the problem, it is how people feel when you fixed it. Like we say at our company, don't manage problems - manage clients.

So much of tech support is hand-holding and telling the user everything is going to be ok.

Yup, and reassuring them that they didn't do anything wrong.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#89

Post by freeflight »

sperg1 wrote: post #23

I struggled for years after being diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school. My parents didn’t believe in medication so I was never out on anything, which I am thankful for. After struggling tremendously with math and social interactions as well as school in general, I spiraled into deep depression. I was bullied, something which I now blame on my lack of normal social defenses. People would say things to me and I wou…

> I was bullied, something which I now blame on my lack of normal social defenses.

Don't do that, it's not healthy, I'm speaking from personal experience. Being bullied often boils down to just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Nothing particular about you was "bully worthy", you were just the supposedly "weakest link" in a social hierarchy constructed by pretty much all young humans: Everybody has people above and under them.

This is the result of people being shitty parents and teaching their children "I can do whatever I want to you because you are a child and I'm an, physically much bigger, adult. I don't need to argue with you, I will just make you do it!"

When kids take this same logic back to social interactions with other kids (I'm bigger than you, that's why I can force you to do things!) it's bound to result in bullying and the "weakest" ending up under the wheels.

This behavior then extends into adulthood where the hierarchy isn't strictly based on physical size/age anymore.

So there's no reason to blame yourself, or bullies, for the person you are today. That's just making excuses for self-pity, a lot of time has passed since then, don't mourn what you might have missed out on, rather realize what you learned instead and make that a new positive feature.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#90

Post by timwaagh »

vinceguidry wrote: post #10

Since she didn't seek out a diagnosis, her actual pathology is still up in the air and I personally don't think autism is a good fit. The fact of the matter is, empathy can be a hard thing to develop, and I think many people's upbringings can cause it to not fully develop even into adulthood. I remember at one point sometime around the age of 20 I felt like there was something I was missing. I've always had a pretty…

that (left/right brain disconnect) is one of many ways some people used to describe autism.
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