Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper • Hacker News Board

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#51

Post by baron_x » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 9:51 AM UTC

DoreenMichele wrote: post #32

jl2718 wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Probably ASD, and military was great, but only in training and deployment to an actual war zone. Garrison was hell, all politics. Tried stripping too. War and stripping are similar: de-personalizing, over-stimulating, immediate flow state rush. Normal social anxieties go away, the rules no longer apply.

I have seen studies that suggest the best war time soldiers are probably ASD or ADHD. Unsurprisingly, great war time soldiers often suck during peace time. If you read a little history, this has long been true. I read a history piece that suggested that we only had one Civil War in the US because the General that accepted Lee's surrender at Appomattox was a chronic alcoholic and ne'er-do-well who learned compassion b…

It was Ulysses S Grant, also the 18th President of United States. Fun fact, they both went to West Point and Lee graduated 2nd in his class whereas Grant was an average student at best, but during the civil war, Grant was the better tactician by most accounts and was willing to take heavy losses.

Grant was an alcoholic and his presidency was riddled with corruption and his reputation was damaged by the Lost Cause revisionists after his death, but compared to the other historical figures we regularly call 'great' he is a better person that most of them and I wouldn't think of him as a monster, he was an interesting and complicated chartacter.

Source: https://www.amazon.com/Grant-Ron-Chernow/dp/159420487X

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#52

Post by Fnoord » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:15 AM UTC

mockingbirdy wrote: post #25

vinceguidry wrote: post #10

Since she didn't seek out a diagnosis, her actual pathology is still up in the air and I personally don't think autism is a good fit. The fact of the matter is, empathy can be a hard thing to develop, and I think many people's upbringings can cause it to not fully develop even into adulthood. I remember at one point sometime around the age of 20 I felt like there was something I was missing. I've always had a pretty…

> it's like the cognitive part of your brain just isn't connected to the emotional part I have this problem. Most of the time I call it autism for convenience although I know it isn't accurate. Deficient/Immature emotional processing is a better phrase that is more accurate. I think that development issues in the psyche can lead to delays in areas like emotional processing and theory of mind. Oftentimes I have to sim…

Seems like textbook example from Pieter Hintjens' The Psychopath Code. [1]

[1] http://hintjens.com/blog:_psychopaths

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#53

Post by Fnoord » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:28 AM UTC

46Bit wrote: post #7

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

> incredibly mild version There are large variations in what different autistic people are capable of, and (e.g.) whether they have intellectual disabilities. The writer might be considered high-functioning by a professional, but it has clearly impacted their life. To call their autism "incredibly mild" sounds dismissive of their experiences. Full disclosure: I'm "high-functioning" autistic too and can associate so m…

> But having this label may empower them and help them be more in control of their life. The word has meaning.

It certainly does, and although the wait lists are long here in NL, I can still recommend people who suspect they have autism to investigate it (via professionals). Its been roughly a 10 months ago since I had my diagnosis, and I learned so much ever since:

* My partner (then undiagnosed) went to a group of partners of ASDers to learn more about how I experienced the world. This led her to believe she also has ASD (recently confirmed).

* I learned all the things related to what makes ASD different from NTs such as Theory of Mind.

* I met fellow ASDers, learned their background, their strong and weak traits, and was able to observe them as well.

* I did a mindfulness course specifically for people with autism.

* We, a couple both diagnosed with autism, get help to deal with our baby so she can grow up healthy in this NT world with two autistic parents (I'm terrible at reading her body language...)

* There's more in development but I'll keep my mouth shut until it's been done & succeeded.

All of the above thanks to the fantastic healthcare system in The Netherlands. God, I love my country, I'm so blessed being born here.

EDIT: A lot of women (like my partner) end up being undiagnosed. Women are trained into a certain role in society which isn't typically masculine-autistic. They're forced to learn to mimic, act, etc to fit the feminine role.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#54

Post by Fnoord » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:32 AM UTC

rbanffy wrote: post #22

amorphid wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a mild form can be even more difficult. You appear different enough that people can tell, but your similar enough to other people that people don't understand the difference between you not getting it and simply misbehaving. When someone who will never get why they're being disciplined for what to them is acting normally keeps getting repeatedly punished, it's usually going to go poorly.

> You appear different enough that people can tell, but your similar enough to other people And that does wonders for you when trying to be diagnosed and, if you are lucky, treated.

Treated? You should know that may sound very offensive (I assume it wasn't meant offensive though). Autism cannot be treated as it isn't a disease; it is a development disorder. You learn to live with it, and its part of how you are as a human being; you don't know different. You learn to live with it without a diagnosis as well, but a diagnosis plus various therapies can help you being more functional in life. That's different than being treated. Heck, people with ASD can have positive effects from their disorder just as well.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#55

Post by jlebrech » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:39 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

I feel like sometimes "normal" people are on the spectrum, being 100% pragmatic i find their behavior quite odd.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#56

Post by Fnoord » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:47 AM UTC

amorphid wrote: post #9

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

Having a mild form can be even more difficult. You appear different enough that people can tell, but your similar enough to other people that people don't understand the difference between you not getting it and simply misbehaving. When someone who will never get why they're being disciplined for what to them is acting normally keeps getting repeatedly punished, it's usually going to go poorly.

> Having a mild form can be even more difficult.

Yup, people with severe autism get diagnosed early in their life, as child. They're clearly impaired by their autism, and get help.

People with a mild version get un(der)-diagnosed, especially women. They're expected to just blend in with society yet when they have difficulty in life, they're being told to e.g. "man up". Which might work with NTs shrug.

If you don't see a disability, its not there, right?!

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#57

Post by wufufufu » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:49 AM UTC

DoreenMichele wrote: post #32

jl2718 wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Probably ASD, and military was great, but only in training and deployment to an actual war zone. Garrison was hell, all politics. Tried stripping too. War and stripping are similar: de-personalizing, over-stimulating, immediate flow state rush. Normal social anxieties go away, the rules no longer apply.

I have seen studies that suggest the best war time soldiers are probably ASD or ADHD. Unsurprisingly, great war time soldiers often suck during peace time. If you read a little history, this has long been true. I read a history piece that suggested that we only had one Civil War in the US because the General that accepted Lee's surrender at Appomattox was a chronic alcoholic and ne'er-do-well who learned compassion b…

I'm sick of people romanticizing ASD. It's like people watched The Accountant and were like "wow this disorder makes you a super soldier". No, it doesn't.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#58

Post by Fnoord » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:49 AM UTC

taneq wrote: post #35

Tycho wrote: post #30

Has there been any studies linking ASD/Aspergers to exogenous circumstances of childhood? (eg. older than average parents, lack of playmates, frequent re-locations...)

Autism is associated with advanced maternal age: https://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk... I believe there's more recent evidence suggesting that paternal age may also play a role but there's a confounding factor there that paternal age is strongly linked to maternal age.

Is that because parents with autism have children later in life than those without? I mean, what exactly is the link? FTA: "So what's going on? That isn't clear. Older parents' genes can undergo changes caused by aging and by the environment"

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#59

Post by navane » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:50 AM UTC

mockingbirdy wrote: post #28

stevenjohns wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a very similar experience to yours within the last 18 months - in my late 20s. Tragedy, for me, opened up an emotional view that was blunted for so long. Immediately my relationship with everyone around me, especially my family, changed -- for the better, that is. I consider it to be a very beneficial and important part of my personal development over the last few years.

I anticipate that I won't be able to cry when my parents die. I really hope I'm wrong. Reason is that I think they have great lives and are fulfilled so in my eyes it doesn't matter if they are 60 or 80y/o when they die. They have a good time on earth. It's helpful that I know about their childhoods and don't have any open questions because I've talked with them a lot about who they are. I don't think I'll be regretf…

What about when one of your parents die, and the other has to live alone for the rest of his/her live? Could you cry over the sadness of the one left behind?

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#60

Post by pbhjpbhj » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 10:50 AM UTC

0xdragon wrote: post #43

newnewpdro wrote: post #37

This person hasn't even been diagnosed with autism by a professional, yet the title strongly suggests so. I guess the article wouldn't be particularly appealing with "Autistic" missing from the title. I've met a few people who have self-diagnosed themselves as autistic. It's kind of become a catch-all for people with eccentricities and/or offensive tendencies. In the cases I've seen, the people are either just unsoci…

This sounds like you doubt their legitimacy, it's not constructive. You don't get to decide whether they are selfish.

It seems reasonable to doubt a person's self-diagnosis of a condition that is difficult for a trained doctor to diagnose.

Moreover, surely it's not "whether they are selfish" that's at issue but why?!

Still further, if someone has a diagnosis of having different brain states that affect social interactions that doesn't mean one must accept deleterious interactions -- generally people don't accept violence because it's caused by psychopathy, for example.

One cant decide for oneself that one is a well functioning member of society, the other members of society decide that.

So, yes, the commenter is free to determine their actions as selfish (diagnosis or no); just as you are free to determine me to have been uncaring, or whatever, based on this comment. What is hoped is that others will make accommodations for us because of our difficulty in being less-selfish in our actions, or less-abrupt, or whatever.