Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper • Hacker News Board

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#11

Post by DoreenMichele » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 2:46 AM UTC

But in the private rooms at the club, there were no outside stimuli. The rules were clear, the distractions minimal, so I could focus and interact.

My ex likely qualifies as ASD, though he was never diagnosed. He is terrible with faces. Faceblindness is common among ASD individuals. He had a lot of other issues.

He was career military. A common recommendation for ASD individuals is to let them wear the same stuff over and over, to get them multiple copies of their favorite items to wear. Wearing the same thing helps accommodate their sensory issues.

In the military, he was required to wear a uniform. He had multiple copies of it. A lot of people who have to wear a uniform get tired of it. It's boring. It's stultifying. But ASD individuals find it a comfort.

He didn't have to remember faces. Everyone's last name was displayed on their uniform.

He had handwriting issues, probably dysgraphia. He had his favorite pen. As an adult, he didn't need a file giving him permission to use a particular writing instrument to accommodate his issues. He had choice and it was chalked up to personal preference.

If we happen to find a situation that's a good fit for how we are, we look competent and brilliant. If we are expected to do things that don't work well for us, performance suffers.

There's really nothing magical or mysterious about that. It's just a shame we so often require people to have justification for their preferences.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#12

Post by DoreenMichele » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 2:52 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

I have two sons who both likely are ASD, though neither is formally diagnosed. They both have sensory issues. They are both control freaks about touching. But if it is done on their terms, they can be affectionate.

Something you commonly see with impaired kids is that they are given far less control over their lives, far less choice, than "normal" kids. I did the opposite. I gave my kids more latitude, not less, to help them be comfortable.

It shouldn't really come as any surprise that sensory issues plus other people not doing things on your terms typically results in an aversion to being touched at all. It isn't necessarily solely due to them being ASD per se.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#13

Post by scardine » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 2:55 AM UTC

amorphid wrote: post #9

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

Having a mild form can be even more difficult. You appear different enough that people can tell, but your similar enough to other people that people don't understand the difference between you not getting it and simply misbehaving. When someone who will never get why they're being disciplined for what to them is acting normally keeps getting repeatedly punished, it's usually going to go poorly.

That. Your attempts at entertaining small talk often will be perceived as sassy, cynical or arrogant.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#14

Post by poisonarena » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 3:05 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

Yeah I remember babysitting an autistic child when I was younger who had 'severe' autism. had had to wear a small lock on his pajamas so that he would not open his diaper and smear feces on the walls. He spent most of my time babysitting with him with his face pressed up against the television. It seems like 'autism' is thrown around to lightly in my opinion, especially after working with someone who had such a severe form.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#15

Post by teddyc » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 3:12 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

You don't know how well functioning these kids will be as adults. There are plenty of adults on the spectrum who seem rather high functioning now but can tell you stories similar to the ones you have heard about their own childhood.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#16

Post by dastbe » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 3:27 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

Is it possible that you’re only seeing the kids with ASD severe enough to merit working with your mother?

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#17

Post by booleandilemma » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 3:44 AM UTC

kryogen1c wrote: post #6

teddyc wrote: post #4

I am autistic and this is a fascinating read. Haven't finished it yet, but needed to comment to encourage others. One thing I learned early on in IT is: It is now how you fix the problem, it is how people feel when you fixed it. This is tough to deal with b/c you can fix the "problem" but still have fallout from the situation b/c the way people felt from interacting with you.

> One thing I learned early on in IT is: It is now how you fix the problem, it is how people feel when you fixed it. Like we say at our company, don't manage problems - manage clients.

So much of tech support is hand-holding and telling the user everything is going to be ok.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#18

Post by sls » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 3:51 AM UTC

poisonarena wrote: post #14

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

Yeah I remember babysitting an autistic child when I was younger who had 'severe' autism. had had to wear a small lock on his pajamas so that he would not open his diaper and smear feces on the walls. He spent most of my time babysitting with him with his face pressed up against the television. It seems like 'autism' is thrown around to lightly in my opinion, especially after working with someone who had such a sever…

Do you think the word "cancer" is thrown around too lightly when people say that they had a melanoma removed?

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#19

Post by koala_man » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 3:57 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

I also used to think the typical autistic person was like the Rain Man. I've since come to realize that this is the extreme, and that people like in the article are the median.

If that seems to make the term lose meaning, it's only because the original impression was warped.

Re: Secret Life of an Autistic Stripper

#20

Post by PhasmaFelis » Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 4:19 AM UTC

JohnJamesRambo wrote: post #5

My mother teaches autistic children and I think this woman must have an incredibly mild version. My mother’s students can barely take care of themselves and touching someone is largely out of the question. I’d love to see her face when I mentioned I read an article about a woman with autism being a stripper. And yes I know there is a spectrum of autism from severe to not as severe, but when someone is as high functio…

You have no idea how tired autistic adults get of being told we're not really autistic because "I saw Rain Man, you're nothing like that" or "I knew an autistic kid once and they couldn't dress themselves."