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Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

nytimes.com

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Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#91

Post by freehunter »

danso wrote: post #29
tequila_shot wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I did something similar. I simply deleted my Facebook, Messenger and Instragram apps from my phone. Never went back.

Deleting from the phone is the real engagement killer. I can usually get focused on work when I'm on my laptop. And unlike with a phone, I can't reflexively and compulsively use my laptop when waiting in line, walking around, or getting up/going to bed.

I have a similar problem, I have a hard time getting focused on a laptop. There are too many distractions, the inputs are too convenient, and it's only getting worse as more things move to the browser. I get so distracted on my laptop that I can completely forget I was working on something and now it's lost, sitting there waiting for me to return to something I don't remember working on.

For example, I never worry about rebooting my iPad for updates. Never. Any time it asks, as long as I'm not actively doing something, I let it. It's 10 minutes, I'll get up and get a cup of coffee no problem. But rebooting my laptop for updates? I have no idea what all is running in the background. I've got five Excel documents, a Powerpoint, and two Word docs I'm working on. Plus a probably an SSH connection to somewhere, plus who knows if Slack is going to come back properly or if it will make me log in again, plus I'll lose my browser sessions and have to log in again to all my work stuff, I need to manually re-establish my VPN connection, and as it all comes back from the reboot, now I have startup crap popping up on boot that I forgot about from last time. Ah shit, and now I find out this update broke some of my software so now I have to find new versions manually for that. And now I've again forgotten what I was supposed to be working on.

I have the same problem you have on a phone, it's too easy to switch between apps and be unproductive. But I've found that (for me) working on an iPad is perfect. I don't have multiple windows open, most apps are expecting to be shut down in the background so they save their state really well, minor OS updates never break app functionality and if something changes, the apps update themselves. And even switching browser tabs is just a tiny bit of a minor inconvenience that I'd rather finish what I'm working on and then get distracted.

Right now on my laptop I have five windows visible, and each one can draw my attention at any moment. That's just not possible on a mobile device, and unlike a phone, an iPad is not designed to fit neatly in your hand with your fingers on the app switcher at all times. For me, it's perfect. If only I could run XCode on it...

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#92

Post by rich_ard »

thermodynthrway wrote: post #28
bilbo0s wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Obviously I don't have a dog in the race of how other people raise their own kids, so I'm a little hesitant to wade in to you guys' discussion. That said, I mean: "...If my parents said they were limiting my internet I would've laughed in their face..." ??? If I had witnessed an exchange between parents and their child where the child "...laughed in their face...", I'm certain I would not have characterize whatever p…

It would have rediculous for my parents to suggest it. They trusted me to drive around pretty much anywhere and hold a job without getting in much trouble. How much more dangerous could the internet be than driving through a sketchy area. Their trust made me far more responsible than I would have been if they tried to treat me like a child when I was in my mid-late teens. I knew if I screwed up it was on me and would…

While I can't speak to 'all parents', I can say that as a parent of five, kids develop significantly differently. We've been treating our oldest daughter as basically an adult since she was 13 or 14; the next-oldest is getting there, at 15. Next couple down the line we have to monitor more closely.

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#93

Post by justMoritz »

thermodynthrway wrote: post #16

You would think a teenager with a job could just get their own phone plan. I'm kinda thankful helicopter parenting is being undermined by technology (internet+Uber), maybe one day we will get back to reasonable parenting practices they had back in the 60's-70's. We don't let our kids roam the neighborhood anymore even though it's a magnitude safer than it was decades ago. I don't understand how we expect kids to star…

A thousand times this.

At 14 my parents were like “you're sick? You know where the Dr. is, don't you?”. It helped me – introvert – tremendously functioning in the world.

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#94

Post by cascom »

reaperducer wrote: post #34
thermodynthrway wrote: post #16

You would think a teenager with a job could just get their own phone plan. I'm kinda thankful helicopter parenting is being undermined by technology (internet+Uber), maybe one day we will get back to reasonable parenting practices they had back in the 60's-70's. We don't let our kids roam the neighborhood anymore even though it's a magnitude safer than it was decades ago. I don't understand how we expect kids to star…

I'm kinda thankful helicopter parenting is being undermined by technology I wish. I know people in their late 30's who are on their parent's cell phone plan, and have tried (unsuccessfully) to get on their health insurance.

I know lots of people who do this - but in most cases it’s about frugality - for a family of four with two grown children paying ~$100/month (4pp family plan) vs. $220/month (2pp family plan, and two individual plans) it just makes sense

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#95

Post by justMoritz »

CptMauli wrote: post #60
visarga wrote: post #58

For years I tried limiting the screen time of my kids (back when iPhone was at versions 4 and 5). Never could manage to do it properly. My kids would always hack it. I concluded that Apple's interest in having kids spend as much time (and money) on the phone is opposite to mine and that's why they didn't allow proper parental controls. Now I just ask for the phone in the evening and give it back the next day. So much…

I think with chocolate its much easier to practice restraint. My children have access to endless sweets, but they seldom take advantage of it. But with the iPad its a different ballgame.

Maybe because the iPad is a productivity machine and chocolate is a fat machine?

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#96

Post by justMoritz »

fipple wrote: post #79

My solution: 1) Delete all my time waster apps except Kindle 2) Keep at least 3 books and 2 audiobooks in progress at once 3) any time I want to kill time, read the books

I also like to read random wikipedia articles in different languages to compare information

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#97

Post by JTbane »

thermodynthrway wrote: post #16

You would think a teenager with a job could just get their own phone plan. I'm kinda thankful helicopter parenting is being undermined by technology (internet+Uber), maybe one day we will get back to reasonable parenting practices they had back in the 60's-70's. We don't let our kids roam the neighborhood anymore even though it's a magnitude safer than it was decades ago. I don't understand how we expect kids to star…

I'd definitely agree: -Buy your kids a simple dumbphone for emergencies (Nokia et al) -Let them work part time for their own smartphone

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#98

Post by JTbane »

CptMauli wrote: post #60
visarga wrote: post #58

For years I tried limiting the screen time of my kids (back when iPhone was at versions 4 and 5). Never could manage to do it properly. My kids would always hack it. I concluded that Apple's interest in having kids spend as much time (and money) on the phone is opposite to mine and that's why they didn't allow proper parental controls. Now I just ask for the phone in the evening and give it back the next day. So much…

I think with chocolate its much easier to practice restraint. My children have access to endless sweets, but they seldom take advantage of it. But with the iPad its a different ballgame.

I still eat too much chocolate as an adult sometimes- the stomach aches remind me not to indulge too much.

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#99

Post by wilsonnb2 »

danso wrote: post #29
tequila_shot wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I did something similar. I simply deleted my Facebook, Messenger and Instragram apps from my phone. Never went back.

Deleting from the phone is the real engagement killer. I can usually get focused on work when I'm on my laptop. And unlike with a phone, I can't reflexively and compulsively use my laptop when waiting in line, walking around, or getting up/going to bed.

In my opinion, deleting them from the phone isn't very helpful when the web browser can be used to access them. Can't delete that from the phone (at least, I don't think you can).

Re: Using Apple’s New Controls to Limit a Teenager’s iPhone Time

#100

Post by wilsonnb2 »

Angostura wrote: post #36
thermodynthrway wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't see it being any worse than the TV shows and consoles of years past. Or the arcade and bowling alleys of years before that. It's just the newest big time killer. All of those mediums are designed to be addictive and I don't think increased convenience makes it much worse

You can't play consoles on the bus, in the street, at the table, on the toilet, in class, in the playground, at the library, in the cafe etc.

Yeah I definitely played Pokemon in all of those places at least as far back as 2003 (when I was in the third grade).
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