Ask HN: How do I cope with being a young diabetic?

I am in early twenties, I had difficulties with choosing a major (my mother forced me to choose a major) this lead to three years wasted at college without advancing and needing to change major to Compsci and by then I discovered that I can't change my major anymore and my only solution (at the moment) was to go to private school and I couldn't afford that.My mother explained that she forced to choose that major so I can be near (a very dump explanation) this lead to fights with her and a lot of stress and this led to me getting diabetes type 2 (and because of bad diet too).I am in a very position now: I can't handle stress the way a healthy person does.I can't do any high stress stuff (starting a startup, handle corporate culture).I tried freelancing but clients are very cheap. How can I cope with this (feeling of being disadvantaged)? For HNers with medical conditions that can't tolerate stress: how do you handle it?

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your situation - to be honest it sounds stress-inducing on its own.

Your question is vague considering the type of advice you're looking for. What is your living situation like? Do you have any immediate concerns? Besides just general "stress", what bothers you the most? If you're willing to share, how recent is your diagnosis?

One overall suggestion I have for you is to not psych yourself out. If you convince yourself that you have a low stress tolerance, you will. Having a medical condition that is exacerbated by stress is legitimate, but if you avoid all stress and never develop coping mechanisms then you will be worse off. If you notice yourself stressing about stress itself, just take a deep breath (I mean physically stop what you're doing and breathe in and out over the course of several seconds) and find out what's really bothering you.

In terms of your health, you should find a good endocrinologist if you weren't referred to one already. This isn't meant to be medical advice, but type 2 diabetes is curable. It tends to be easier to cure if you take care of it sooner rather than later though, and after 6-7 years it is effectively permanent. A young person with the condition should be able to gradually lower his insulin resistance and become healthy again if he treats it as a priority.

My background is in healthcare and computers - if you are in the United States and need help with health insurance or Medicare I can look into it: sam (at) mangane.se

See reddit.com/r/keto to start.

First, you need to stop blaming your mother, cheap clients, and other people generally. You need to decide what you want and do what it takes to make that happen. Instead of fighting with people, just make your own decisions. If they are going to have a cow about it, start moving them out of your life.

If you are living with controlling parents or other controlling people, you need to very quietly start laying the groundwork for getting out of that situation (without signalling to them that you are moving on -- that only gives them the chance to sabotage your efforts). Don't keep people close to you and give them control over your life who don't genuinely respect you and have your best interests at heart.

Second, you need to prioritize taking care of your health.

Third, you need to stop focusing so much on what you can't do and start focusing more on what you can do.

Best advice ever.

I come from a relationship with my family like the one you described. Now my mother is dead, my father married another woman and all the advice and control they gave me is gone and they barely remember these expectations which some of them I fulfilled but actually at some point I left my home and worked in another city without having money to pay even my lunch. That made me make a lot of money, move from a third world country and meet the love of my life. I didn't have diabetes so maybe for you it might be different, but unless you take control of your life and start to have frequently moments which you are 100% responsible for, you will never truly live.

I always felt weak and had my fair amount of health imperfections, but I once thought that if I'm a bird with an undeveloped wing and I need to do my first flight, I would rather crash my face to the ground and die than to live a shitty life being abused by everybody.

Maybe you can fix your disadvantage with your brain and become a bird that makes other birds fly for yourself.

Also take out this disadvantage mindset. You should make your strong points stronger. You have gone through some crazy shit that those perfect rich white males probably never went. So at least at something you can excell.

Please also take my opinion with a grain of salt, you know your life better than me. Cheers