21–30 of 283 posts
I guess my follow up is: which is better? Is it better not to pay attention to tasks and imagine other stuff or is it better to focus on the task no matter how trivial? In other words, should the Maya kids be learning from the Americans?
My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…
Out of curiosity, what were your feelings like towards your dad at this time? Was there a lot of fear around him? Did you "like" him?
I don’t hate my dad, he is a flawed man but I love him. We both like NFL, boxing, and movies so we talk a lot about that.
My brother is mostly estranged from my dad and they talk rarely, but we all do get together most thanksgivings.
I guess my follow up is: which is better? Is it better not to pay attention to tasks and imagine other stuff or is it better to focus on the task no matter how trivial? In other words, should the Maya kids be learning from the Americans?
Career wise, the trick has always been learning to aim my obsession at the problem.
> One little boy started making explosive noises, pretending a toy on the table was a bomb
Hm, perhaps some Ritalin could fix this?
Perfectly normal behavior; little boy waits and plays small games to pass time. Incompetent teachers blame kids and "fix the problem".
Autonomy, What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else? Then create space in their schedule for this activity and the time to focus on their interests. I'm curious if their measurement of paying attention to an unrelated task performed by someone else is a measurement of attention or curiosity.
I am so grateful my parents didn't need to "create space in my schedule" for anything. I created my own schedule (outside of school). That is autonomy, not your parents creating spaces in your schedule.
My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…
"My brother and me!" God, damn it! :-D
My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…
Out of curiosity, what were your feelings like towards your dad at this time? Was there a lot of fear around him? Did you "like" him?
Best advice don't be your child's friend be parent plenty of peers who can be friends but none that can be parents.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am so grateful my parents didn't need to "create space in my schedule" for anything. I created my own schedule (outside of school). That is autonomy, not your parents creating spaces in your schedule.
Can you explain the difference? to me both statements appear the same with the difference a matter of perspective. Your parents scheduled some of your time as your time outside of your schedule for school. You scheduled that time and your parents respected that.
My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…
On average, the kids raised like this tend to do what autority tell them when autority is present. It is different when autority is not present and they are in presence of weaker kids.
My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…
I can't speak about your experiences, of course. In general, my understanding from experts is that being yelled at trains children to simply avoid being yelled at; they don't learn good behavior.
> And the view of children as mini adults who could be useful, if properly trained, has been the default parenting style for thousands of years.
I don't see that as a positive. The world was a horrible place for thousands of years; it was only in the last century that we started figuring things out, got children out of coal mines, learned germ theory, democracy and human rights became the norm, etc. etc. I like our modern ideas much better.