How to get kids to pay attention • Hacker News Board

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#11

Post by seibelj » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:19 PM UTC

My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday.

I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most well behaved kids I knew. I would see my friends going bananas and think, “are you guys out of your minds?”

I’m not advocating this style of parenting, and I won’t replicate it, but I can’t deny that the old school mechanism of raising kids was basically “sit down, shut up, or else!” and it made kids much more likely to listen. And the view of children as mini adults who could be useful, if properly trained, has been the default parenting style for thousands of years.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#12

Post by abhiminator » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:21 PM UTC

Filligree wrote: post #7

nickjj wrote: post #5

What's really interesting to me is this same thing can be applied to adults too. The article writes: > For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living".

>I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living". Shorter. As much as I'd love to follow my heart, I also know that the things I find personally interesting aren't the same ones I'm good at. Alas, it's also in a field where only the very best make any money at all.

I agree. What the invisible hand of the market and society at large value rarely align with what an individual values (and enjoys) -- a cosmic joke of the human condition imo.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#13

Post by sandworm101 » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:26 PM UTC

nickjj wrote: post #5

What's really interesting to me is this same thing can be applied to adults too. The article writes: > For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living".

Well, today is a national holiday for me but about a dozen of us have to be at work (long story). For the next three hours, short of an emergency situation, we have literally nothing to do. No cellphones, but half of us are playing X-box (not networked). The other half are surfing the web, two of those are trying to find a way to watch the world cup despite our security filters. I would much rather be walking a dog on a beach, or flying fighter jet. My point: what we want to do with our free time is constantly limited by current circumstance. Letting kids do whatever the want, within the limitation that it must happen inside the classroom, will inevitably result in X-box and we surfing.

How about this: Give the kids a fire pit. I'd bet that most of them would rather learn how to start and maintain a fire than play x-box. I know I'd rather be chopping wood than sitting in an office chair.

"Fire pits and power tools good for preschoolers" https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/little-kids/pre...

I've met US teenagers who don't know how to use matches.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#14

Post by Forge36 » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:26 PM UTC

nickjj wrote: post #5

What's really interesting to me is this same thing can be applied to adults too. The article writes: > For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living".

As in asking the question to other adults or to asking it of one's self?

If the first: I agree, it would be interesting to see the changes. Would we see more of Google's 20% time?

If of one's self: I think many do. I don't think the change would be as large. I already see many people spend their time on projects they are interested in. And I've seen that work be discouraged in favor of the assigned tasks/priorities. That discouragement can lead to a negative feedback loop of discouraging others.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#15

Post by electricEmu » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:27 PM UTC

Strive wrote: post #8

maltalex wrote: post #4

> For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' In the western world the answer to that question is often some addictive activity such as playing video games, or watching videos on youtube.

The question confuses me right away because most Americans are not keeping their kids' schedules full all the time. "Go play, I have to work/cook/shop/whatever." Kids are doing "what they would do if they don't have to do anything else," because they don't have to do anything else. Maybe the question is more about the behavior of the adult than the child? Parents need to enable their children's interests. Maybe your…

It was my understanding purposely filling your child's schedule is a mixed bag. It could help a child or hurt them significantly. That kind of filled schedule adds stress and removes exploration time.

I never would have been a programmer if my parents filled my schedule with football, like they wanted to.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#16

Post by colecut » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:28 PM UTC

seibelj wrote: post #11

My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…

Out of curiosity, what were your feelings like towards your dad at this time? Was there a lot of fear around him? Did you "like" him?

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#17

Post by seanmcdirmid » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:28 PM UTC

nickjj wrote: post #5

What's really interesting to me is this same thing can be applied to adults too. The article writes: > For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living".

There wouldn’t be civilization, we’d all die pretty quickly at the hunter/gatherer stage.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#18

Post by tonyarkles » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:28 PM UTC

maltalex wrote: post #4

> For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' In the western world the answer to that question is often some addictive activity such as playing video games, or watching videos on youtube.

> In the western world the answer to that question is often some addictive activity such as playing video games, watching videos on youtube or something similar.

I was a relatively free-range child. I had a bike, I had a pocket full of quarters to call home if I needed to, and if I wanted to I could stay home and play video games (we had an NES, followed by a SNES, but not that many games).

What did I do? I rode my bike to the library and took out books from the programming section. The first ones were video-game inspired. You could get the source code of a game in a book and type it into the Vic-20. I was obsessive with it. Once I'd gone through all of the game-books they had, I started making my own. And then we got a used XT and it. was. on. Quickly went from QBasic to a C compiler (PowerC, if I recall). Around '97 or so we got a Pentium 1 and I heard about this thing called "gcc" which was apparently a better C compiler, so I ended up installing Linux.

And here we are, 20 years later and I've turned all of that into a great career. At the time, my parents were pretty dismayed that I wasn't into baseball, or soccer, or basketball, or whatever... But they did a great job at keeping things balanced. Don't want to play sports? That's ok, but we've got to go take the dog for a walk.

I fully accept that a lot of the computer-related activities are significantly more addictive now (and passive) than they were back then. If I wanted a new game, I had to ride my bike to the library! But... I'm always leery of people who suggest heavily restricting screen time just because it's screen time. If that's the direction someone's going, they might just need a little nudge to make it a more productive learning experience.

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#19

Post by Forge36 » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:34 PM UTC

maltalex wrote: post #10

nickjj wrote: post #5

What's really interesting to me is this same thing can be applied to adults too. The article writes: > For starters, he says, ask your kid this question: 'What would you do if you didn't have to do anything else?' I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living".

> I often wonder what civilization would be like if adults asked the same question to themselves and then lead a life where they focused on that instead of being pressured into "making a living". I imagine we'd have an abundance of pilots, and actors and a severe lack of toilet cleaners.

I don't think it would be as extreme as a full career change. There exists a very large startup cost to becoming a pilot. I'd think to measure the number of people motivated to those as "failed actors", people who tried to make their career as an actor but eventually moved on to other things. Isn't that what we already have today?

Re: How to get kids to pay attention

#20

Post by eguanlao » Sun, Jul 01, 2018, 4:35 PM UTC

seibelj wrote: post #11

My father was short tempered, very loud, and an unusually large man in stature and presence. Additionally he worked nights, got a couple hours of sleep, and then woke up and took care of my brother and I for breakfast / school before sleeping more. He was not someone to mess with in general, let alone at 630am on a Tuesday. I think the threat of being screamed at and intimidated made my brother and I two of the most…

"My brother and me!" God, damn it! :-D