Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#1

Post by newjobhelp » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 6:36 AM UTC

Hi HN, I recently got a new job. It's my dream job and at a company I've wanted to work at for a very long time.

I applied once straight out of college but didn't make it through the interviews - so I worked somewhere else, building up my skills and eventually re-applying a couple of years later. They accepted me! I could not have been more excited, this company was everything I had wanted.

Except now I'm here. A lot of stuff is a mess. There is technical debt everywhere. Undocumented code bases that haven't been touched in years and maddening internal processes. I'm absolutely depressed as a result because I held this company on such a pedalstool only to find the inside rotting away. I have no sense of ownership of my work and I'm struggling with motivation.

I don't know what to do and so I am looking for advice. Is this just life and I should just man up and get on with it or should I accept my mistake and look for something else?

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#2

Post by mbiondi » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 3:00 PM UTC

Take it as a life lesson. Lots of places are not as rosy on the inside as they appear from the outside.

If the place is a mess that might mean there's an opportunity for you to shine. I would take it as a challenge and try to push the bar higher.

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#3

Post by brudgers » Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 3:18 PM UTC

If you're afflicted with clinical depression, a good step may be to talk with a licensed clinical therapist to address a medical issue. If you're not experiencing clinical depression, then exploring your current employment options and formulating new career goals might more reasonable. Good luck.

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#4

Post by p0d » Sat, Jun 30, 2018, 9:05 AM UTC

I was talking to a 70 year old friend recently. He concluded your third job tends to be the good one. I imagine the number is not the important factor. I think the message is we live and learn.

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#5

Post by malux85 » Sat, Jun 30, 2018, 10:31 AM UTC

Welcome to software engineering, there always a lot of technical debt, there’s always undocumented parts, and there’s often annoying processes (usually for a reason)

Here’s some advice / observations from someone with a few miles on the clock:

The fact that you can see lots of areas for improvement is promising! It means you’re a good engineer! But remember that coding at a large organisation is a social activity, so seek mentors, suggest changes (and listen to feedback) and always leave the code in a state better than you found it.

If everybody does that the heath of the codebase will improve.

It may feel overwhelming the sheer amount of fixes that seem to be required, but remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix everything, and “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time”

If you’re suffering depression that’s not purely job dissatisfaction go get some help.

Also personal hobbies to keep some variation - coding or non-coding, you need a break

Good luck on your journey!

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#6

Post by q-base » Mon, Jul 02, 2018, 5:39 AM UTC

You answer your question in the last paragraph. Yes that is life. You work hard to achieve your goals(sometimes even others goals that you have mistaken as your own) and once you get there you realize that it was not Nirvana. Having the job/car/house/lifestyle/etc. you dreamed of your entire life still comes with a lot of issues.

We tend to think of our life in terms of; when only I get X then my life will be complete. Guess what. It won't. You will still be the same person - only with X. That job/car/spouse/house you put on a pedestal comes with a lot of issues as well.

It is absolutely okay to realize that the dream job perhaps wasn't so. Perhaps somewhere else is a better fit. You should not be afraid to change. It is only if you keep changing jobs to find out that everything there is not as expected - then perhaps you should look in the mirror for the common denominator.

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#7

Post by slipwalker » Mon, Jul 02, 2018, 11:49 AM UTC

I'm struggling with motivation my suggestion here is to check "discipline beats motivation" ( https://iheartintelligence.com/2016/11/17/discipline-beats-m... ).

You don't need motivation, just discipline to build habits... it's non consequential whether or not you will ( eventually ) change jobs, everywhere will be a challenge if you lean on motivation.

Re: Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed

#8

Post by segmondy » Mon, Jul 02, 2018, 1:38 PM UTC

Shut up and get to work. That's why the company hired you, because they have problems. Be a part of the solution and not part of the problem by whining about not having a sense of ownership. Step up and own things, start fixing shit, start documenting things and fixing the mess.