Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
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Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#2Hmm, 2014. But a good read.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#3Hmm, 2014. But a good read.
Not sure about what is wrong about an article from 2014. It is not talking about the last JavaScript implementation or AI achievement.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#4I can vouch for the futility of remaining in a “disaster” relationship for far too long...
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#5Good non-romantic relationships also often come down to kindness & generosity.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#6Good non-romantic relationships also often come down to kindness & generosity.
I was reminded of the hackernews ethos to assume the best of commenters when engaging them as per the active constructive corner of the relationship action/reaction thing in the article.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#7Ok... I'll bite. This feel good article doesn't do justice to relationship issues at all. A lot of relationship issues simply arise from compromises that have been done in past. May be woman is desperate in finding husband and man is realizing he is getting out of options. Both gets married despite knowing incompatibilities here and there. People tell them "opposite attracts". Ummm... no. There is of course honeymoon period and then eventually kids enter in life. Suddenly woman doesn't feel need to make man happy as much and man is realizing his role being transformed to essentially a bank account. Things start falling apart and there is no right thing to fix this. Sure, kindness/generosity etc helps on both sides but the fundamental root cause is folks ending up together due to short term biological reproduction needs that then invariably gets extended as kids enter in their lives. It's not a coincidence that lot of marriages fall apart when kids are between 8 to 12 years old. That's the time kids are becoming independent, women gets more time to do job and run household according to her desires all the while man starts to understand that there is very little left for them to be in. Some better educated couples would hold off until kids go to college and there is spike in divorce rate when kids graduate from high school.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#8Ok... I'll bite. This feel good article doesn't do justice to relationship issues at all. A lot of relationship issues simply arise from compromises that have been done in past. May be woman is desperate in finding husband and man is realizing he is getting out of options. Both gets married despite knowing incompatibilities here and there. People tell them "opposite attracts". Ummm... no. There is of course honeymoon…
Somewhat raw but at the end of the day I'd say mostly true.
I'll add my own conjecture: the root problem is that this hypothetical couple you describe (who is more common than many would like to admit) are both settling.
They are settling because they didn't take marriage seriously earlier in their lives. They didn't take marriage seriously because society stopped forcing them to do so. And nature also didn't force them to either, thanks to birth control.
These aren't individuals at fault here - these are systemic incentives warping previously traditional behavior.
So then this couple got into their 30s, which isn't young, as the decades are not created equal. And they realized - oh shit, better actually try figuring out how to have a family, lest we live alone and with limited meaning for the latter 40 years of life. Seriously - what are people thinking that they'll be happy being single into their 40s and beyond?
Here's a sad truth: most people will get a decent, but not super meaningful job. There can only be so many entrepreneurs and rockstars. So from ages 35 onwards, you better be set up to have a family and create something that will provide you meaning for Act II of life, because it's quite long.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#9Hmm, 2014. But a good read.
Not sure about what is wrong about an article from 2014. It is not talking about the last JavaScript implementation or AI achievement.
Perhaps the comment was referencing a myriad of different factors which might affect relationships now that didn't exist in 2014? According to the World Happiness Report 2017, there is a trend which suggests Americans are growing less happy each year. So maybe in the interim of 4 years the world has become drastically less optimistic about intimate relationships... Or not.
Re: Masters of Love: Lasting relationships come down to kindness, generosity (2014)
#10Ok... I'll bite. This feel good article doesn't do justice to relationship issues at all. A lot of relationship issues simply arise from compromises that have been done in past. May be woman is desperate in finding husband and man is realizing he is getting out of options. Both gets married despite knowing incompatibilities here and there. People tell them "opposite attracts". Ummm... no. There is of course honeymoon…
Somewhat raw but at the end of the day I'd say mostly true. I'll add my own conjecture: the root problem is that this hypothetical couple you describe (who is more common than many would like to admit) are both settling. They are settling because they didn't take marriage seriously earlier in their lives. They didn't take marriage seriously because society stopped forcing them to do so. And nature also didn't force t…
Do you imply that the only way of having a meaningful life when your job is mediocre is by creating a family? What about other recreational activities or hobbies? Somewhat anecdotally, I recall a grade school teacher that was single in her 50s but remained active within a large volunteer community supporting youth. She often discussed how her participation in this circle gave her life purpose.
Maybe the systemic issue is that people who are reaching their 30s often feel pressured by their social group to get married and thus believe their lives are meaningless without that ring or child validating its purpose.