Being nice to people is easier than being rude. And life opens more doors than you can imagine when you are kind to people.
Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
51–60 of 348 posts
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#52Love isn't as strong as mental illness, and that no amount of hope and heart can solve problems for someone who won't admit they have them.
In my experience getting ppl to admit their issues isn't the way to go. Showing them a path exists to overcome the issues, without a requirement for them to admit anything is.
Understanding that is love.
And that's hard work. "Work is love made visible"
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#53Chronic diseases suck, and you can definitely get them in your 20's.
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Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#54Before we got married, my wife said she would move with me to California if I ever got a good offer from a major tech company. This year I got an amazing job offer, and my wife threw a giant fit, told me she's not coming, and said "I took a gamble and lost. I never thought you would actually get an offer". Now she's refusing to get a job, wants me to continue paying for our house that she's living in on the east coas…
You didn't told us what it taught you.
It taught me that people react differently in stressful situations than they say they are going to.
Also, when I was growing up, my parents always said "divorce is wrong; you can always make a marriage work if you try hard enough". Interestingly, they've completely flipped on that opinion now that they've heard how I'm being treated, but I guess I'm still "brainwashed". If I didn't have these irrational moral qualms, I would have ended the marriage by now.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#55* It doesn't matter what you set your desired location to in LinkedIn. Recruiters are going to look at what you've done in the past, and assume you want more of that.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#56Before we got married, my wife said she would move with me to California if I ever got a good offer from a major tech company. This year I got an amazing job offer, and my wife threw a giant fit, told me she's not coming, and said "I took a gamble and lost. I never thought you would actually get an offer". Now she's refusing to get a job, wants me to continue paying for our house that she's living in on the east coas…
It's over. You can either admit it now or wait. But from experience I'm telling you it's over. This is your one life. One trip around the stars.
I agree entirely. That sounds like an absolutely unhealthy relationship if she couldn't be honest with you in the first place regarding where she stood on relocation if you got a job. She basically called your bluff and lied to you, betting (wrongly) that she'd not have to pay it out.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#57"Give me liberty, or give me death" is admirable as a philosophy for precisely as long as your own life is the only one being wagered.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#58Geez, I could write a book about what the past 12 months taught me. But here's the main points: * Learn when you have to move on, sometimes some things are out of your control and there's nothing you can do about it. * We all have our own story, don't judge people for their vices and flaws unless you know their story (there are exceptions to this rule) * Sometimes you just have to take the jump, quit your job, move o…
Can you expand on the third point?
It's a bit tongue in cheek, I don't really recommend that everybody moves overseas.
But for me, I was in a city that I didn't really like, and a job that I didn't really like. I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't saving any money. Basically, my life was on hold. I had worked at my job for a year, and had saved a total of zero dollars, my boss was never going to give me a pay rise, and I was feeling like shit at work.
I realised that if I stayed where I was, in a years time, I was going to be in exactly the same situation and there weren't a lot of other jobs in my city that would've put me in a better situation.
So I decided that I'd quit my job and move to Australia, which for New Zealand citizens is as simple as getting on a plane and flying over (essentially it's visa free). I didn't have much in the way of savings, but I figured I had 3 months of runway if I used my credit card.
I found a job within a month, and everything else has fallen in place quite nicely.
The main takeaway is that sometimes you need to be able to realise when you're in a situation that you can change, and then do what you need to do to enact that change, even if that means moving way outside your comfort zone.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#59It's far more important to do something and finish it than to do it right or perfectly.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#60Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's over. You can either admit it now or wait. But from experience I'm telling you it's over. This is your one life. One trip around the stars.
I agree entirely. That sounds like an absolutely unhealthy relationship if she couldn't be honest with you in the first place regarding where she stood on relocation if you got a job. She basically called your bluff and lied to you, betting (wrongly) that she'd not have to pay it out.
When my first company went down the crapper my now ex-wife said "you had your chance. We are never doing that again. You will get a job like the rest of the world." But before we were married she and I talked often about entrepreneurship and building things and how my path was different. Our marriage was over at that point, but it wouldnt end for several more years. Wasted time.