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Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?

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Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?

#37
Before we got married, my wife said she would move with me to California if I ever got a good offer from a major tech company.

This year I got an amazing job offer, and my wife threw a giant fit, told me she's not coming, and said "I took a gamble and lost. I never thought you would actually get an offer".

Now she's refusing to get a job, wants me to continue paying for our house that she's living in on the east coast (in addition to rent for my apartment in the Bay Area), wants me to pay for 20 flights per year across the country so she can visit friends and family, and has called me every mean name in the book.

So my career is going great but my marriage is falling apart.

Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?

#38
post #35

I didn't know happiness until I had a daughter. I thought I had a pretty happy life until she was born. After that, i learned to value my lonely hours :)

As the father of two girls, I relate to all of this. I'm sure you've heard this 1000 times, but they grow up fast, so enjoy they time you get with your daughter.

Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?

#40
Geez, I could write a book about what the past 12 months taught me. But here's the main points:

* Learn when you have to move on, sometimes some things are out of your control and there's nothing you can do about it.

* We all have our own story, don't judge people for their vices and flaws unless you know their story (there are exceptions to this rule)

* Sometimes you just have to take the jump, quit your job, move overseas, and survive on your credit card until you find a new job. Otherwise in a years time, you'll be in the same shitty place you are now.

* Seasonal Affective Disorder is a right bitch, and alcohol is not a cure.

* Corollary from the above: You may not feel it sometimes, but people do care for you, despite your head telling you the opposite.

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