71–80 of 95 posts
However I'm definitely introverted, so much so that I designed a game back in 2009 to get out of my comfort zone more.
It's called Rejection Therapy, and it's here: http://www.rejectiontherapy.com
It's not meant to change who you fundamentally are, but it will help broaden your horizons.
And if by being an introvert you mean the constant state of insecurity, being the lonely outcast, constantly agitating, trying to regain a long lost connection with mankind, hopelessly trying to be something you're note, then by all means no, it is not okay to be an introvert.
:)
Seriously though, if you think it's okay, then it's okay. If you want do be more social, go ahead and do that. I used to be introverted in high school and maybe I still am at heart. But I learned to enjoy social gatherings an casual social connections just as much as meaningful conversations with close friends. I made myself go to parties and join dance clubs and what-not and I couldn't be happier for it.
Yes, it's ok. If you accept that in yourself. But ever go to a party and not talk to anyone and have a miserable time? And gone to a party and talked to people and had a better time? My advice is pick a non-computer related hobby. The hard part is that it has to be something you are generally interested in and would like to become better at. For me, a hobby was Salsa dancing. I was enthralled by the instructor dancin…
First: >Go up to a woman that you feel drawn to and stand there and say "I have to say. I'm very nervous to talk to you but I had to walk over and say hi." Please don't. That is, unless you have material after this line, which is unlikely unless you are already skilled in chatting up strangers. You'll create an awkward situation. She'll probably give you a forced smile, and then you'll panic because now the you've op…
Please do. Of course this is what is going to happen, I have done that too, but it is fantastic to fail, because it is the only way to improve and success. You will discover that the world doesn't end from you making mistakes, in fact you had the courage to try.That is the important thing, that and to persist!.
"Material after this line?" Ohh my god, believe me girls know when someone is shy and will help him if they want but what they all hate is being considered machines over human beings. PUA's techniques are already heard a million times by a pretty girl today. And is not what you say("material"), is how you say it.
Those that not even try will not have success ever, because they don't try in the first place.
The first thing is that you need to know what do you want to be in a very specific way, write it down, study it.Maybe you want to feel great among people, identify the current blocks or obstacles.
The most important thing is not trying to change overnight, you have already an "introvert" training of years: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/30-days-to-success/
You need to be able to get over your comfort zone regularly, my best advice is find a mentor, a person that is very social, talk to him.
I think it's even more careless to define myself (And incredibly boring), especially if that definition includes a shortcoming.
The person I was whilst typing this message is in the past, I am who I want to be in the future.
Pick up First, Break All The Rules to learn the difference between talents and skills. Being extroverted is a talent. If you're an introvert, no amount of willpower is going to make dealing with strangers more fun. That said, you can be good at it. Some of the top public speakers and sales people are introverts. But when they walk off the stage, they need their space. That said, my advice is to find ways to be happy…
I've also noticed that after an intensive bout of programming, I actually lose social skills. Maybe it's a bicausal relationship.
39 responses and no one's linked to Jonathan Rauch's blockbuster "Caring For Your Introvert" yet? Hold on to your butts: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-f... "It's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation."
You'd be surprised how many of us really are introverts. I talk about this subject with successful people quite often at conferences like TED, because it's so difficult and painful for me to be social even for a few hours a day at these events. Almost everyone says the same thing, "Oh no. I'm an introvert. This is exhausting to me. I can't wait to get back to my room. But I can keep it up for a couple necessary hours…
To fake being an extravert is not that difficult when you've mastered the skill of meaningless chit chat. However, I've noticed that to acquire that skill you need an active interest in the person you're communicating with. I've noticed that people with a natural interest in other people seem to be perceived as extraverts. To learn that interest in other people can be a challenging task and after twenty years of prac…
If you want to do well, you need to get along with people. You can do this to a certain extent by just going the extra mile to ask how people are doing, etc.
The way to get over it (mostly) would be something like Toastmasters. I haven't done that, but did take up another role that required me to get up in front of people and take questions, etc. once. I was awful, but I learned that the world won't end if I take a chance. The second best thing that can happen to you is to get let go or fired from a job and then quickly go get another one. After that point, you will have no fear from either crowds/strangers nor will you feel like you must retain your job in order to succeed. Fear is the mindkiller.