Many great minds were introverted. Or so I read.
Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
11–20 of 95 posts
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#12Being an introvert has nothing to do with having bad social skills, mate. It's just perception directed towards yourself, feeling good being alone, etc. but it does not have to result in bad social relations. It's common among geeks to be introvert just like extraverts occupy f.ex. PR and media, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Frankly I don't get what advice are you seeking - you can't force yourself to hang with people you don't like or are not attracted to, do what makes you feel good.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#13To truly answer your question, you need context. First of all, remember that everyone has an introverted and an extraverted side. It's just a matter of which one is dominant. A person who is totally introverted would be completely unable to interact with anyone else on any level. A person who is completely extraverted would be unable to do anything without relying on other people. So you can see that it's important for everyone to be both introverted and extraverted.
So with that in mind, being an introvert is a good and wholesome thing as long as you realize that you have an extraverted side that needs attention too. For instance, I make a conscious effort to do something sociable on occasion even if I have to drag myself. In doing so, I can engage my extraverted side without having to turn myself into an extravert.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#14Pick up First, Break All The Rules to learn the difference between talents and skills. Being extroverted is a talent. If you're an introvert, no amount of willpower is going to make dealing with strangers more fun. That said, you can be good at it. Some of the top public speakers and sales people are introverts. But when they walk off the stage, they need their space. That said, my advice is to find ways to be happy…
I've also noticed that after an intensive bout of programming, I actually lose social skills. Maybe it's a bicausal relationship.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#15Yes, it is OK. However modern business tends to select strongly against introverts. So my advice would be to look for some classes on public speaking, or possibly look for a nearby chapter of Toastmasters. http://www.toastmasters.org/ When you get out into the business world, you'll find that standing up in front of a group and giving presentations is an important skill. It might be for something as simple as explain…
Actually, introverts are probably more likely to like giving presentations than extraverts. Extraverts need social interaction (ie conversation). Introverts are probably more likely to enjoy having everyone shut up and listen to them for a change. :-)
Nor does it mean "bad at selling yourself". An introvert who is speaking about a subject that they are passionate about is a force to be reckoned with.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#16My perspective is screw what other people think. It is true that for whatever reason most people think introverts are bad, probably because they aren't entertaining enough.
But, once you can say screw it, you learn to treat such social interactions as a game, and you get adept at the entertaining aspect. In fact, I've found that I can say things that spark people's interest more easily because I'm an introvert and I understand what's going on better.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#17The key idea here is to understand you nature and adapt to it or going against it, depending on what you want.
If you're more comfortable being isolated and feel a pleasure by doing difficult tasks - go further and do some programming or research. You will probably succeeded above average, because focusing, concentration and avoiding distractions is the most important things.
If on the other hand, you feel uncomfortable and sometimes have an urge to be with people (mostly girls) - then you should change yourself, develop a new habits and smooth communication skills. In this case just go out and learn by doing.
Many introverts are trying to avoid unpleasant practices by reading tons of book on subjects. That is a mistake. Information cannot replace actual experience. Knowledge of a theory is not a substitute for a personal realization.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#18I think I am an introvert as well. My advice to you is to try getting out of your comfort zone as much as you can. By that I mean try to hang out with people who you don't share your interests with.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#19I think it's best to find a balance. I'm both introverted and extroverted, extroverted just takes more energy but also results in more energy being given back to you from other people.
Re: Ask HN: Is being an introvert okay?
#20Yes, it's ok. If you accept that in yourself. But ever go to a party and not talk to anyone and have a miserable time? And gone to a party and talked to people and had a better time? My advice is pick a non-computer related hobby. The hard part is that it has to be something you are generally interested in and would like to become better at. For me, a hobby was Salsa dancing. I was enthralled by the instructor dancing with his sexy partner at my very first lesson. I was hooked before the lesson even commenced (demo was first). The sooner you push yourself willingly, the better. And remember, showing up is 50% of the struggle when it comes to situations where you push yourself out of your comfort zone. Today, I hung out with three female friends and went to an art show and had lunch with them. I just finished studying a couple chapters of a textbook on computer graphics. I'd like to say that hanging out with friends was more fun but it wasn't - I prefer my own company to that of others. Good luck, think of talking about technical topics like talking about the weather. As other posters have said - find out about what people like, what people feel. Share the experience of being insecure. Go up to a woman that you feel drawn to and stand there and say "I have to say. I'm very nervous to talk to you but I had to walk over and say hi."