Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Habits of Highly Miserable People

alternet.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

261–270 of 321 posts

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#261

Post by jokoon »

I get that it's a satirical article, but I don't understand the point it's making.

This is the result of people having the psycho rigidity to assume happiness is the golden standard of life, the moral standard of "things that are good, and things that are bad".

"Things could be worse" is a good enough way to look at things, but ultimately, when people have bad feelings, remember it can stem from their biology, education or way of life.

It's important to concede that certain things can be deterministic in life. What is worse is this obsession to always get better in every minute of your life. Cults have similar obsessions.

Just let go a little.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#262

Post by lapnitnelav »

dwaltrip wrote: post #242
drawnwren wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This just isn't true. They felt exactly the same as OP up until the moment they died. A sudden death is, by definition, something that can not be regretted.

You seem to be assuming the mindset that nothing matters after an individual dies. I'm sure you are not surprised to hear that many disagree with this.

To that specific individual, it doesn't because they are dead.

As for what happens in the realm of death, we'll see when we get there.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#263

Post by dm319 »

This article muddles association with causation.

I think it's dangerous to assume that these traits cause unhappiness, even if that might be true for some people in particular cases.

If you are less happy, you are probably less likely to take a risk with your job. If you are less happy, you a probably more likely to start a fight or fall out with your partner. If you are less happy you are likely to give yourself a negative identity. etc etc etc etc..

I don't get the feeling that this article is written by someone who has brought themselves on a journey out of unhappiness, but rather by someone who is irritated by someone else's unhappiness.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#264

Post by Tade0 »

dwcnnnghm wrote: post #97
tomnipotent wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reminds me of the Principle of charity [1] that "requires interpreting a speaker's statements in the most rational way possible and, in the case of any argument, considering its best, strongest possible interpretation" . I've found adopting this mindset to be one of the most important habits I've picked up, and eliminates so much drama. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_charity

This is also the basis of the Steel Man Argument [0] [1], as opposed to Straw-manning. Instead of attacking (basically nitpicking) the easy missteps in your opponent's reasoning, find the best form of their argument, and then argue with this. It seems to me as the ideal way to both win over those on the other side and provide yourself with a solid ground. You present yourself as avoiding undermining their position (r…

Huh, I've been unknowingly using the steel man argument in debates about renewable energy etc.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#265

Post by adrianN »

PascLeRasc wrote: post #231
throwawaymath wrote: post #222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is the reaction you're "supposed" to get by thinking about that? I took a moment to think about it and I don't think I got it. My reaction was, "Well then I probably die", but I don't feel particularly different about the present. If that's the thing I'm supposed to feel then so be it, but I feel Seneca intended for some greater profundity, or he would dispense with the mental theatrics. What am I missing? Does…

This is the first time I've heard the quote, but I think it's to appreciate that life is short and could end at any time, and while bleeding out you'd realize that worrying about these long-term things was a waste of time.

In the more likely case that you don't die tomorrow worrying about long term things usually pays off.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#266

Post by snarfy »

RIMR wrote: post #111
DoreenMichele wrote: post #104

Give yourself a negative identity I was sexually abused as a child. I spent a total of about 3.5 years in therapy, a year in my teens and 2.5 years in my twenties. Therapy was valuable, but I quit in large part for the above reason: I was at a point where spending an hour or more every week digging around in the dirt of my past was just keeping alive an identity as a victim. It was keeping me stuck. It was keeping me…

I know this is a bit of a controversial opinion, but I always felt that society's reaction to sexual assault give victims a reason to feel even worse about their situation. Not to say that it isn't a severely traumatic thing to experience - it absolutely is. But, we regularly treat virginity as some sort of virtuous status - and then speak of rape victims who lost their virginity to their attacker as if they were str…

As a male, people told me I'm a liar and that it's not possible to be raped by a female. I don't bother bringing it up anymore.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#267

Post by dandellion »

Noumenon72 wrote: post #235
ulisesrmzroche wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is a better exercise. I stole it from Seneca. Look at the back of your wrists: see those fragile greenish-blue veins? What if tomorrow - while thinking about some problem with money or love - you trip and fall, and a particularly sharp rock on the ground or a shard of glass on the street cuts one of those thin exposed blue-green veins open?

From what I understand about suicide, no little crossways cut on those veins will ever kill you. You have to go up the arm and deep. Humans aren't that fragile really.

I've come up with an alternative version of the exercise that might work better:

Look at your feet: see those little toes?

What if tomorrow - while thinking about some problem with money or love - you get hit by a speeding 10 ton truck and you die instantly?

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#268

Post by Draiken »

PascLeRasc wrote: post #231
throwawaymath wrote: post #222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is the reaction you're "supposed" to get by thinking about that? I took a moment to think about it and I don't think I got it. My reaction was, "Well then I probably die", but I don't feel particularly different about the present. If that's the thing I'm supposed to feel then so be it, but I feel Seneca intended for some greater profundity, or he would dispense with the mental theatrics. What am I missing? Does…

This is the first time I've heard the quote, but I think it's to appreciate that life is short and could end at any time, and while bleeding out you'd realize that worrying about these long-term things was a waste of time.

That's not exactly the purpose Stoics do that AFAIK.

One of the objectives is to appreciate what you have right now and stopping this urge that we have in today's society to always get more.

If you stop and really think about how bad it would be to live without your eyesight, for example, you can appreciate even the smallest things we take for granted.

It's not supposed to be a "carpe diem" thing.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#269

Post by posterboy »

maerF0x0 wrote: post #6

>Exercise: Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes, and, for 15 minutes, meditate on all the things you could lose: your job, your house, your savings, and so forth. Then brood about living in a homeless shelter. really roughly this is what stoics do, yet somehow they come to the conclusion "actually, what was i fearing? Proceed with adventure"...

Strawman, red herring. If anything, it means, why let fear grow irrationally, rather face it and be content.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#270

Post by posterboy »

throwawaymath wrote: post #222
ulisesrmzroche wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is a better exercise. I stole it from Seneca. Look at the back of your wrists: see those fragile greenish-blue veins? What if tomorrow - while thinking about some problem with money or love - you trip and fall, and a particularly sharp rock on the ground or a shard of glass on the street cuts one of those thin exposed blue-green veins open?

What is the reaction you're "supposed" to get by thinking about that? I took a moment to think about it and I don't think I got it. My reaction was, "Well then I probably die", but I don't feel particularly different about the present. If that's the thing I'm supposed to feel then so be it, but I feel Seneca intended for some greater profundity, or he would dispense with the mental theatrics. What am I missing? Does…

it's distraction, nothing more.

By the way, I recently noticed my veins are not symmetric on both hands. I'm not sure what to think of that either.

Post reply on HN