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Habits of Highly Miserable People

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Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#241

Post by strken »

selestify wrote: post #79
Zelphyr wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the idea behind the exercise, from a Stoicism standpoint, is to mentally expose yourself to the fear of being homeless (or whatever about the exercise creates anxiety for you). Eventually you desensitize yourself to that feeling and begin to realize it wouldn't be as bad as you think. This is also an aspect of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Umm... seeing how the homeless live, it really would be as bad as I think. Probably even worse, since I don't see all of it.

Most of the homeless are couch surfing, living out of cars, etc. In one sharehouse I lived in, we had one guy on the couch and another in a tent in the back yard, both of whom were acquaintances going through a rough time. As far as worst cases go, while it would suck to have to sleep on someone's couch, it's honestly not that bad.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#242

Post by dwaltrip »

drawnwren wrote: post #110
mobilefriendly wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Survivor bias...I wonder if all the people who died hitchhiking or cliff diving feel the same way. We won't know because they're dead.

This just isn't true. They felt exactly the same as OP up until the moment they died. A sudden death is, by definition, something that can not be regretted.

You seem to be assuming the mindset that nothing matters after an individual dies.

I'm sure you are not surprised to hear that many disagree with this.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#243

Post by DoreenMichele »

selestify wrote: post #79
Zelphyr wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the idea behind the exercise, from a Stoicism standpoint, is to mentally expose yourself to the fear of being homeless (or whatever about the exercise creates anxiety for you). Eventually you desensitize yourself to that feeling and begin to realize it wouldn't be as bad as you think. This is also an aspect of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Umm... seeing how the homeless live, it really would be as bad as I think. Probably even worse, since I don't see all of it.

Being without a home sucks and is logistically annoying and aggravating to a significant degree. But a lot of the misery of most homeless people is due to the intractable personal problems that landed them there to begin with.

It does get compounded by social stigma. For me, the social stigma and the very real problems that caused was the worst part of being homeless for 5.7 years.

A lot of homeless people sleep in a tent. That's what I did. Some people do that for fun and call it camping.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#244

Post by pokemongoaway »

fwip wrote: post #35

Number 3, "Give yourself a negative identity," just sounds like "I don't like when people have mental health problems. Get over it already."

It's more like "I don't like when people with mental health problems start identifying themselves with that problem." I don't like it either :)

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#245

Post by [deleted] »

RickS wrote: post #184
elipsey wrote: post #134

PULIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: author trolls the mentally ill in standard way, says they're doing it for attention. If you have serious psych diagnosis like BP etc., please avoid this content; your loved ones know you're trying and only a handfull of contrarians strike this pose. Get some exercise and a good night's sleep, and stay on your meds. I'm rooting for you. P.S. This trash should not be on HN. It has nothing to…

First, I agree with most of your argument. In persons for whom these traits arise from mental illness, this particular brand of sarcastic blaming of the holder of emotions is likely counterproductive. With that said, if the overwhelming majority of readers were miserable not via irreparable mental illness, but from well-worn thought processes, and were capable of growth stemming from realizations about their behavior…

[deleted]

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#246

Post by arcturus17 »

It's ironic how the author comes across as utterly condescending and miserable herself. I don't see how this article may be helpful to anyone struggling with mental health issues, nor to their loved ones or therapists. Completely uninspired in its tone, exaggerated in its content, and unintelligible in its objectives.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#247

Post by dragonwriter »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #199
dragonwriter wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm a let me brag and show off by showing you my scars kind of personality (a la Lethal Weapon* ). Men can do that and impress people. I routinely get pity. No, not about being a victim of a sex crime, they can't; at least as much as women can't, maybe even moreso. > The answer appears to be that a rape victim is not allowed to move on. A “brag and show off by showing you my scars” person is one who has not moved o…

Choosing to be an example of recovery is not evidence I have not recovered. I'm well aware men who were raped or molested are treated even worse.

> Choosing to be an example of recovery is not evidence I have not recovered.

There's a huge difference, as I see it, between choosing to be an example of recovery and being,asyou previously described, a “brag and show off your scars person”, particularly in terms of the audience to which accounts of particular trauma are directed.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#248

Post by elipsey »

Felz wrote: post #195
RickS wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First, I agree with most of your argument. In persons for whom these traits arise from mental illness, this particular brand of sarcastic blaming of the holder of emotions is likely counterproductive. With that said, if the overwhelming majority of readers were miserable not via irreparable mental illness, but from well-worn thought processes, and were capable of growth stemming from realizations about their behavior…

This is a bravery debate, in other words. http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery... There are probably people who really need to hear "your problems are real and you should get help" and also those who need to hear "your problems are mainly self inflicted and you need to deal". This article gives the same advice for both types, and that's pretty dangerous.

Yes, I know this article too, and I apologize for the collateral annoying-ness of my comment. I knew I was stepping in one of those, but it’s not what I came in here for.

The downside of being ill-advised in this way is exceptionally, asymmetrically, high for certain people (and maybe anyone standing next to them). That’s who I was talking to. If you had seen what I've seen you might regretfully do the same. Best regards, sorry for the inconvenience.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#249

Post by AstralStorm »

rosser wrote: post #87
matte_black wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why wouldn’t the slaves just rise up and mutiny against the captain??

See also: Why didn't the victims of the African slave trade rise up against the plantation owners? Or: Why didn't she fight back? General form: Why don't victims behave the way I think they should, in circumstances I've never experienced ?

They did, many times, and were invariably violently put down. Only much later they did succeed.

Also remember that it was the most docile that were captured.

Re: Habits of Highly Miserable People

#250

Post by AstralStorm »

placebo wrote: post #91
pagnol wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you practicing number 5? If so, great job!

not necessarily - he could just be invoking the "do not attribute to malice what can easily be explained by stupidity" rule It's not always so easy to tell apart the things you have control over vs. the things you don't, but I think that all these rules can be summarized in one line, which is basically: If you're feeling sorry for yourself, you'd better find something more productive to do.

The counterpart to the rule is that stupidity is widespread and almost unfixable in general.

Did I invoke one of the stupid rules from the article just right now? :)

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