Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

Go somewhere else for a week or two. Sometimes you have to change your environment. If you can’t go on vacation right now, start going somewhere else after work instead of going home right away. Maybe go to the gym in the morning.

The first time you do something is the hardest but it gets easier after that.

Ask yourself: "If I could instantaneously become whoever I want in this world, what would it be?" This may require a lot of reflection. For every answer you come up with, ask yourself "why?" and look for bigger end goals. Think about what you want to do toward yourself, your family and friends, your community, your career, and recreation.

If you're having trouble coming up with anything, reflect upon your idols from real life, alive or dead, and from stories who have inspired and motivated you. Try this exercise: Commit to writing your stream of consciousness for 3 pages a day. Don't judge, erase, or cross out. Just keep writing whatever comes naturally to mind, and if you choose to keep it afterwards, they're for your eyes only.

Once you know who you want to become, ask yourself "What do I think I can reasonably achieve in this lifetime? What goals will help me to become this person?" When the end goal is in mind, it is easy to figure out what to do next. Ask "What are the next three things I can do now to work toward my first goal?" Do them immediately. Then starting the next day and each day forth, take one step of any size toward your goal, little by little. There are no deadlines, and there is no rush. Remember that it takes 21-30 consecutive days to create a habit where it'll become automatic.

Set yourself up for success. Set small, easily achievable goals and work your way up. Commit to a few minutes instead of hours. Let your motivation take its natural course, and allow yourself to stop for the day when you're not in the mood. Focus on 1-3 goals at a time to avoid splitting your attention. For every milestone you achieve, celebrate and congratulate yourself, then immediately look onward toward the next goal. Reward yourself regularly for taking steps and achieving goals because you're boldly taking action to change your life.

Don't count or dwell on the failures. They say nothing about your future. You are in full control of your actions now in order to shape the future. Failures tell you what you will do next time to be successful in that situation. Stay focused on achieving your goal. Decide afterwards if it works for you. Remember and tally the successes. Imagine yourself as having already achieved your end goal vividly each day. It doesn't matter where you've come from or who you were yesterday. It matters more who you want to become and where you are going.

Most importantly, HAVE FUN!

Suggested Reading:

- Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

- The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz

Perhaps you are having PTSD or similar flashbacks. The episodes can start many years after the experiences that they relate to.