Ask HN: What’s wrong with me • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#21

Post by aragorn2 » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:18 PM UTC

maxander wrote: post #18

aragorn2 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t know if this is what you mean: I have learned to pretend like I care. To put on a smile on my kids’ birthdays, when deep inside I feel sorry for them. They are so happy now, not suspecting what awaits them when they grow up.

It doesn’t have to happen to them, they can grow up as happy as they are now. One good reason to seek help for yourself, and recover from your depression, is to give your children an example of how to respond if/when it happens to them.

That is a beautiful thought. I like it.

Can I mark this as an answer? :) yes spending too much time on SO.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#22

Post by andymoe » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:18 PM UTC

aragorn2 wrote: post #10

andymoe wrote: post #3

Nothing is wrong with you. You just need some help: 1-800-273-8255 You are worth it. Please talk to someone. I do every week and it helps. Email in profile if you want to chat but please call the number.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am not in the US to call. I am sure we have a number for a similar purpose. I’m reluctant to call - I do not know how it will help. I can imagine all the arguments; why I should be happy. Why I am worthy. I’d been telling them to myself for a long time. I’ve just stopped believing in them.

Happy? Aim lower. How about making it through the day. One step at a time. Don’t over think it or think you can will your way out of this. You can’t. If you could you’d be better or managing already. Take a step. Btw, I have two kids as well. They are great but don’t make things easier or better necessarily. Focusing on yourself is the best thing you can do for them.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#23

Post by aragorn2 » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:20 PM UTC

NKosmatos wrote: post #17

Do you have someone to talk to? Call a friend/relative/coworker you feel comfortable with and get it out of you. Then please get some professional help. Keep in mind that nowadays many of us feel shit and depressed like you do, try keeping your mind occupied with something else if it helps. All the best.

Thank you!

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#24

Post by wareotie » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:21 PM UTC

A few years ago, without any previous symptoms, I wake up from a nap and everything looked gray.

I talked with my girlfriend about that (never with my parents, maybe I feel ashamed? ) and I talked with a professional. It helps a lot. Seriously. Go.

Few other things that work for me:

* Sleep. Man, just sleep. After two days without proper sleep, I feel like crap. Exactly with all those things that you said in mind.

* Food. No candies. Bananas are amazing.

* I fucking love coffee. But I tried not to abuse.

* Write things down. Tasks? Write them. Feelings? Write them too. Check tasks in a paper have something that helps me feel like I accomplished something. And try to do small tasks, break things into chunks. It's something very very very hard for me, but it works.

* Get angry. Really. Be mad at something. Be bordered by something. Hate something. And try to express those feelings (without being an asshole of course). Example: If someone sent me an email that I found stupid, I talk about that with my coworkers. I don't know why but makes me feel like I care about things.

* And disconnect. I used to be hyper-connected. Now I tried to minimize the number of things that I read, I don't use twitter either facebook anymore. If something does not add value to my life, I tried to avoid it.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#25

Post by Koshkin » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:22 PM UTC

The world may be meaningless, but it existed billions of years before you were born and it will go on for billions of years after you. Explore it while you have your chance.

Indeed, the world has no meaning without people, including you; each brings his/her own meaning to the world, but usually it comes down to love (for someone or something), i.e. it is love that gives meaning to life and the world in one's eyes.

If you love your children the world is not meaningless.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#26

Post by beeftime » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:25 PM UTC

aragorn2 wrote: post #6

curtisblaine wrote: post #4

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder Please, please, please consult a professional

Ok that fits me pretty much. I’ve been feeling like this for decades. Thank you for your comment.

you must, must, MUST talk to a health professional. Even if you just walk to the nearest hospital or clinic and describe your symptoms and ask for a referral. This is not due to your life choices, or your personality, or your individual philosophy. This is not a healthy way to feel, but you cannot feel any differently because of this illness. This illness CAN be treated. You do not need to feel this way. There is no truth in the way you feel now, and this weight CAN be lifted off your shoulders.

Please, please, talk to a doctor.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#27

Post by raarts » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:25 PM UTC

Many people who are depressed are like that for a physical reason. This is often hereditary. You might need medication.

Visit a professional to find out if this would help you. If only to help your children.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#28

Post by aragorn2 » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:28 PM UTC

Koshkin wrote: post #25

The world may be meaningless, but it existed billions of years before you were born and it will go on for billions of years after you. Explore it while you have your chance. Indeed, the world has no meaning without people, including you; each brings his/her own meaning to the world, but usually it comes down to love (for someone or something), i.e. it is love that gives meaning to life and the world in one's eyes. If…

It’s strange... I do love my kids.

I don’t know maybe I care too much to the point where some fuse in my mind breaks, bringing it to some strange dull state...

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#29

Post by curtisblaine » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 10:59 PM UTC

aragorn2 wrote: post #6

curtisblaine wrote: post #4

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder Please, please, please consult a professional

Ok that fits me pretty much. I’ve been feeling like this for decades. Thank you for your comment.

You're welcome. The tricky thing is that it doesn't feel like a disorder, and reluctance to see a professional is what makes it especially hard to treat. Once you do the first step, though, everything starts to become a bit easier. So please see someone. I promise it'll be better.

Re: Ask HN: What’s wrong with me

#30

Post by summm » Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 11:05 PM UTC

beeftime wrote: post #26

aragorn2 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok that fits me pretty much. I’ve been feeling like this for decades. Thank you for your comment.

you must, must, MUST talk to a health professional. Even if you just walk to the nearest hospital or clinic and describe your symptoms and ask for a referral. This is not due to your life choices, or your personality, or your individual philosophy. This is not a healthy way to feel, but you cannot feel any differently because of this illness. This illness CAN be treated. You do not need to feel this way. There is no…

This. You might want to read http://slatestarcodex.com/2018/03/22/navigating-and-or-avoid... how to do it.