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What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

nytimes.com

1–10 of 233 posts

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#2
A friend of mine died last year in his 20s from related issues.

It's unfortunate to see the events bringing it to light, but I'm glad to see the issue receiving greater public attention.

In the US at least, suicides have been and continue to be much more prevalent than homicides.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#3
As much as I know all of these things, the attitude my loved one has has killed the love out of me. Constant negativity, agitation, it's just tiring. I just can't seem to not take it personal, and to have a mindset that it is the disease and not the person.

I can't figure out how to start loving the person again.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#5
"Remember, people do recover from depression"

That IMHO seems to be as much of a taboo as having depression itself for a lot of people... it's hard to convince someone that depression is seriously real, and equally hard to convince people [affected by their loving one's] depression is not like terminal cancer.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#6

Great article, but what is this about? Is this really true? > But remember that interactions with law enforcement can vary wildly, depending on race and socio-economic background.

Sadly yes.

I honestly don't have any numbers to backup my feelings, but I know that a lot of people truly fear the police, and possibly for good reasons.

A while ago we had to call the police on a loved one that we were fearing was suicidal. By the end of the whole night the only thing that happened was the loved one was stuck with a rather large hospital bill as they were admitted (then discharged the next day), and they were cited for having the registration of their car be several months past due BY the cops that were sent to their house.

There are also countless stories online of people (often minorities) calling police or having the police called for them, but they end up getting injured or even killed in the process. There are also reports of cops entering the house of someone that was reported as suicidal with their guns drawn...

Not to mention that with drug laws in the US, someone with contraband or illegal drugs in their house or on their person might be risking everything just interacting with police.

I don't really want to get into the debate about how police should act, or a debate about guns or laws or racism or what is warranted or not or drug laws or whatever else right now, but I do want to point out that for some people, the police might be more of a "threat" than help. And even if statistically the police aren't that likely to hurt someone, the frequency that it's happening and the growing resentment on both "sides" can make it so that many people will want to attempt other solutions before involving police.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#7

A friend of mine died last year in his 20s from related issues. It's unfortunate to see the events bringing it to light, but I'm glad to see the issue receiving greater public attention. In the US at least, suicides have been and continue to be much more prevalent than homicides.

Its not just the US. Its widespread in India and spans different age groups as well: from destitute farmers to students from pretty wealthy families. And I'm sure in other countries as well... so yes I too am glad this is getting more attention.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#8

Great article, but what is this about? Is this really true? > But remember that interactions with law enforcement can vary wildly, depending on race and socio-economic background.

Definitely true. I've had a student call for this sort of ideation, after taking prescribed medicine, identified himself as black so they could tell who he was when they arrived, but didn't ask for a 'crisis prevention team'.

Somewhere between the 911 Dispatcher and the police that showed up, the only salient points communicated were "black man" and "drugs" and they rolled up on him as if he was a drug dealer. Very easily could have gone another way.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#9
I feel like this should be left here:

Everybody you meet has a secret smile, and a secret pain.

If your secret pain feels like a weight you can no longer carry, please talk to someone. Anyone. Lay down your burdens, and give your shoulders a rest.

If you're in the US, there's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

LGBT folks in the US might also consider The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386

I don't know about international numbers or other region- or culture-specific services; perhaps others can reply with the ones they're aware of.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#10
post #6

Great article, but what is this about? Is this really true? > But remember that interactions with law enforcement can vary wildly, depending on race and socio-economic background.

Sadly yes. I honestly don't have any numbers to backup my feelings, but I know that a lot of people truly fear the police, and possibly for good reasons. A while ago we had to call the police on a loved one that we were fearing was suicidal. By the end of the whole night the only thing that happened was the loved one was stuck with a rather large hospital bill as they were admitted (then discharged the next day), and…

Honestly I wasn't trying to start any sort of debate either, I just didn't know that was really something people have to be aware of.

That's very sad. I feel bad not knowing that's the way things are now.

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