Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says • Hacker News Board

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#31

Post by daenz » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:01 PM UTC

chepaslaaa wrote: post #16

rootusrootus wrote: post #6

If true, then people are losing focus on what's important. Half of my family is extremely conservative. Half is very liberal. We get along great at family gatherings, because we just agreed that discussing politics is less important than family relationships. Maybe that will play out over the next couple years, now that the latest political developments seem to have really stretched the boundaries. Perhaps we will co…

When your grandfather says racist shit about your girlfriend you might start understanding.

A lot of assumptions made by your post.

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#32

Post by whack » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:03 PM UTC

One of the most important skills I learnt as a kid, from my family, is learning how to disagree without taking it personally. My parents couldn't possibly be more different from my sister and I. They also encouraged us to have meaty discussions and debates, everyday at the dinner table. Over the years, we've had some very passionate and spirited debates, but they were entirely focused on the issues. Not the people behind the issue. We learnt how to disagree violently, while still showing warmth and love for the person behind the disagreement.

As a teenager, I thought this was the default in society. It was only after leaving home and going to college, that I realized it was the opposite. Whereas my family took disagreements as an opportunity for lively debate (and a bit of fun in the process), too many people take disagreements as an insult and a personal affront. One can only hope that this tide will swing back around the other way.

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#33

Post by johnpowell » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:08 PM UTC

assface wrote: post #8

rootusrootus wrote: post #6

If true, then people are losing focus on what's important. Half of my family is extremely conservative. Half is very liberal. We get along great at family gatherings, because we just agreed that discussing politics is less important than family relationships. Maybe that will play out over the next couple years, now that the latest political developments seem to have really stretched the boundaries. Perhaps we will co…

I have zero tolerance for racism. My family voted for Trump and they say racist things. I don't need that in my life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance

I lived with my sisters kid who was 22 at the time. We decided to do Christmas at our apartment. So about 30 people crammed into our two bedroom place. Coreys dad came and and was wearing a MAGA hat and shirt. Then he said Trump will win and my beaner girlfriend will be deported. He is a cop in Vancouver Washington at this very moment.

So I just grab a book and six pack and head to the roof of the the Jack in the Box a few blocks away. Easy to get up there and I can read and drink in peace.

Fast forward a year.

Now I live alone. Christmas at my apartment. Corey is in San Diego. The Trump supporter who has no real connection to any family that will be at my apartment asks for directions to the C-mas party. I tell him he is not invited. He is not happy. I do not care.

Seriously. Life is short. I am not going to try to get along with openly racist people. They can die in a fire.

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#34

Post by Andre_Wanglin » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:08 PM UTC

rootusrootus wrote: post #6

If true, then people are losing focus on what's important. Half of my family is extremely conservative. Half is very liberal. We get along great at family gatherings, because we just agreed that discussing politics is less important than family relationships. Maybe that will play out over the next couple years, now that the latest political developments seem to have really stretched the boundaries. Perhaps we will co…

Ideology is a relatively new (taking the long view of human history) mechanism for demarcating tribal affiliation that is a uniquely powerful tool for sowing discord and disunity among people who otherwise have every reason to owe allegiance to and be socially bound to one another.

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#35

Post by Andre_Wanglin » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:15 PM UTC

emodendroket wrote: post #28

btilly wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is a short step from being willing to dismiss opinions with a simple "that's racist" to being unable to discuss reality. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16908414 for an example of a conversation that is hard to have when you dismiss other people's views with "that's racist".

Not every idea deserves serious consideration.

Ideas are expressed by people. Does every person deserve serious consideration?

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#36

Post by GhostVII » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:15 PM UTC

chepaslaaa wrote: post #16

rootusrootus wrote: post #6

If true, then people are losing focus on what's important. Half of my family is extremely conservative. Half is very liberal. We get along great at family gatherings, because we just agreed that discussing politics is less important than family relationships. Maybe that will play out over the next couple years, now that the latest political developments seem to have really stretched the boundaries. Perhaps we will co…

When your grandfather says racist shit about your girlfriend you might start understanding.

Racism isn't a political issue, it's accepted that it is a bad thing.

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#37

Post by dang » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:16 PM UTC

dumbfounder wrote: post #23

dang wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The snark is a problem, it wasn't clear what your point was, and your example contained plenty of secondary flamebait just waiting to blow up when another commenter supplied the match.

In case you still don't get it for some reason, I am using a colorful, yet completely plausible, example to show WHY random people should not be given access to such data. I think it illustrates quite succinctly why access to such data should be tightly controlled. Instead, it is being handed out to random researchers.

I believe you that it's what you intended, but the way you did it breaks the site guidelines, so please don't comment that way on HN.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#38

Post by GhostVII » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:16 PM UTC

deft wrote: post #12

rootusrootus wrote: post #6

If true, then people are losing focus on what's important. Half of my family is extremely conservative. Half is very liberal. We get along great at family gatherings, because we just agreed that discussing politics is less important than family relationships. Maybe that will play out over the next couple years, now that the latest political developments seem to have really stretched the boundaries. Perhaps we will co…

Except politics dominate every faucet of your life and if you "get along" with your family members, your just lucky you aren't the target of their derision. This isn't even a liberal vs conservative thing. If someone's beliefs denigrate you, how can you tolerate being around them even if they try to keep that stuff quiet?

How do politics dominate every faucet of your life? My life is not affected at all when the government changes, except I pay slightly different taxes, and the news is different.

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#39

Post by throwajay8462 » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:17 PM UTC

emodendroket wrote: post #26

49bc wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You hold your tongue and value family relationships above petty squabbles. It’s not some pious virtue. It’s just what you learn to do as a functioning adult.

And what are you supposed to do when several of your relatives do not exercise this level of restraint and insist on steering the conversation toward politics?

why, explain vehemently just how naturally sane and correct your opposing opinion is, naturally. if they wanted the right to speak, they’d have the right politics in the first place and the really important thing is to make sure they know that

Re: Thanksgiving Got Shorter After the 2016 Election, Study Says

#40

Post by lightedman » Thu, May 31, 2018, 9:22 PM UTC

emodendroket wrote: post #26

49bc wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You hold your tongue and value family relationships above petty squabbles. It’s not some pious virtue. It’s just what you learn to do as a functioning adult.

And what are you supposed to do when several of your relatives do not exercise this level of restraint and insist on steering the conversation toward politics?

Is it really that difficult to enforce a 'no politics' rule at family gatherings? That's exactly what we do. Plenty of other things to bitch about (like inheritance) and let destroy the family.