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Diamonds Suck (2006)

diamondssuck.com

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Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#181

Post by CocaKoala »

test1235 wrote: post #116
hrktb wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s still usually not the most important. For instance even if your partner is the best thing that ever happens to your life, the most important moment will be the proposal or whatever moment you recognize and mutually accept you need each other in your life. The wedding is the inking of the deal, the most important moment is when you agree to the deal in the first place (and I hope that’s way far before the weddi…

it doesn't matter how you define it - the initial premise was that once you've decided that it the most important, then it's all downhill from there.

You're conflating importance with quality.

The day Bruce Wayne's parents died was the most important day of his life. It is most assuredly not the day he looks back on as the best day of his life.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#182

Post by saiya-jin »

throwawaymath wrote: post #156
charlesdm wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not everything is about money though. Want to have an extravagant wedding? Fine. Want something basic? Also fine. Yes: diamonds, jewellery, mechanical watches etc are all bad value for money. People don't buy them because they're bad value. They buy them because they like wearing them, and women buy jewellery because it makes them feel pretty. That's life. It's fine throwing money away sometime.

Yes, you're right. I don't understand the myopia on this forum when it comes to people spending money irrationally. Human beings are not hyper-efficient savings maximization engines. Every time the story about why "diamonds suck" hits the front page (maybe once a year or so?), the same rounds of patting-on-the-back are exchanged in the comments for rehashing a one-dimensional social commentary that buying diamonds is…

Tons of words trying to justify what you did. Your choice, your money, who cares.

Making peer pressure of buying some worthless tiny rock, that's the core of the issue here for most including me. People who think they should, other people who look down on those who don't and similar, utterly pathetic behavior (which hints some deeper issues but that's another topic).

Many people here try to be smart with money. Buying diamonds ain't remotely close to that

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#183

Post by ergothus »

shoo wrote: post #105
retSava wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, it's upsetting. As soon as merchandise X is prefixed with "wedding", the cost is doubled. Wedding cake? Boom. Wedding napkins? Check. Etc. It's astonishing how easy it is to fall into the trap of "it's just a one-time event", "it's the most important day of my life", etc.

> Yeah, it's upsetting. As soon as merchandise X is prefixed with "wedding", the cost is doubled. Wedding cake? Boom. Wedding napkins? Check. Etc. i believe one partial cause of this is because there are higher expectations around the quality of goods and services applied for weddings. e.g. if you make fancy decorated cakes to order, what are the odds that the customer or one of their relatives is going to go berserk…

> i believe one partial cause of this is because there are higher expectations around the quality of goods and services applied for weddings.

Based on the comments ive heard from some people in the field (anecdote), this is a rationalization. If they discover that you lied about it not being for a wedding after it is done, paid for, and happy reviews garnered, they will be just as upset, but it us purely for the loss of income, not because of risk.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#184

Post by charlesdm »

quadyeast wrote: post #177
charlesdm wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not everything is about money though. Want to have an extravagant wedding? Fine. Want something basic? Also fine. Yes: diamonds, jewellery, mechanical watches etc are all bad value for money. People don't buy them because they're bad value. They buy them because they like wearing them, and women buy jewellery because it makes them feel pretty. That's life. It's fine throwing money away sometime.

Is it something you really want or is it expected of you? Do you really want to enrich debeers? Buy a 2K wedding cake?

I would negotiate down the listing price significantly -- i.e. 20 to 35% depending on the item (I.e. $30k ring like post made above) and the price.

Alternatively I would get a custom piece designed.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#185

Post by charlesdm »

theunixbeard wrote: post #176
throwawaymath wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, you're right. I don't understand the myopia on this forum when it comes to people spending money irrationally. Human beings are not hyper-efficient savings maximization engines. Every time the story about why "diamonds suck" hits the front page (maybe once a year or so?), the same rounds of patting-on-the-back are exchanged in the comments for rehashing a one-dimensional social commentary that buying diamonds is…

Are you an entrepreneur with a profitable business or successful exit? If not, 30K might represent 6-12 months of personal runway to build your own business.

He's not going to buy his wife a $30k engagement ring if he's earning $30k a year...

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#186

Post by to_bpr »

isostatic wrote: post #4

> If I can prevent a single reader from needlessly dropping $6,000-10,000+ on a diamond engagement ring, this site will be a success. Financial worries are the #1 cause of stress in a married relationship - there is absolutely NO excuse to start your married life by taking on that level of debt. Average U.S. wedding cost $30k in 2014, while the average engagement ring was $5600, or 19% of the cost [0] https://www.val…

>(especially given about half will end in divorce)

Very much depending on some key demographics[0], and also assumes that all marriages start with an expensive engagement and wedding.

[0]: https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/marriage-and-divor...

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#187

Post by ergothus »

stevehawk wrote: post #124
mjhagen wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't believe I'm about to defend a marketing slogan. "Most important" doesn't imply "best", in my opinion, I think it implies that this day has the most impact on your life, so make it a good one. Maybe future days will be better because of what happened on this day.

I will say that at 37 years of age i believe my wedding was the most important party i have thrown in my life. With people giving up an entire weekend to fly in to a central location for my wife and I it seemed only fair to make sure everyone had a great time. It's pretty easy for a wedding and reception to be boring for your guests.

I can agree with your view, but would add that "fun" and "flawless" are not synonyms. Heck, charge the normal rate for things and I'd be able to afford more fun!

I've had two weddings and attended many many more. 90+% of the time is completely forgotten. The rest is good or bad memories that are largely disconnected from the service/goods quality and the price. I've seen success with plastic cups and failures with crystal.

(Interestingly, the vast majority of the "bad" events came from the wedding officiants, with photographers coming in at number 2, neither of which correlated to "quality")

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#188

Post by bitwize »

GimbalLock wrote: post #87
dkobia wrote: post #70

Unfortunately this is one of those American traditions we love to hate but are for the moment powerless to change. Your significant other may not care but societal pressure and expectation is hard to get around. She has a mother, sisters, friends etc. It is the same reason an expensive handbag makes absolutely no sense to a man but matters so much to a woman. It is confounding.

Powerless? No. Just don’t buy it. It really is that simple. You don’t have to change everyone’s mind. Just stand up for yourself.

And say goodbye to the girl of your dreams, who was really looking forward to showing her friends the "rock" on her finger and hearing them ooh and ahh over it.

Even if she doesn't leave you over this, unless you somehow married a Hackernews you've set up the image in her head that you're a skinflint who isn't willing to provide for your wife and it will affect your relationship in negative ways. Is your autism that strong that you will put a pedantic commitment to your own head logic and fighting the evil forces of marketing above your wife's feelings? If so, maybe you don't deserve to be married.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#189

Post by to_bpr »

Antimachides wrote: post #131
charlesdm wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not everything is about money though. Want to have an extravagant wedding? Fine. Want something basic? Also fine. Yes: diamonds, jewellery, mechanical watches etc are all bad value for money. People don't buy them because they're bad value. They buy them because they like wearing them, and women buy jewellery because it makes them feel pretty. That's life. It's fine throwing money away sometime.

Not fine with me. If a girl wanted a diamond ring and/or and extravagant wedding I'd dump her. Materialistic, low IQ and shallow. Though that's what most people are, I suppose.

>Materialistic, low IQ and shallow. Though that's what most people are, I suppose.

You should look into getting a therapist to talk through whatever has soured your outlook on life to this point of bitter cynicism.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#190

Post by bufferoverflow »

tvanantwerp wrote: post #138
isostatic wrote: post #4

> If I can prevent a single reader from needlessly dropping $6,000-10,000+ on a diamond engagement ring, this site will be a success. Financial worries are the #1 cause of stress in a married relationship - there is absolutely NO excuse to start your married life by taking on that level of debt. Average U.S. wedding cost $30k in 2014, while the average engagement ring was $5600, or 19% of the cost [0] https://www.val…

I'm immensely grateful that my wife is from Hong Kong. Wedding gifts there take the form of cash in a red envelope, and it's normal to get married at a profit. When I explained to her that American weddings are usually held at a considerable loss, her reaction was to set the wedding budget to as close to zero as possible. I think the Hong Kong idea makes much more sense--a newly married couple needs a financial boost…

If most people around you get married, there's no profit. It's, roughly, a zero sum game. Everyone gifts everyone money.
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