This is great. (1) How do I pretend to be from the EU? (2) Th EU should make a law requiring HTML versions of pages with no JS. The evolution of the Internet in the last two decades has been such a tremendous disappointment. It really peaked in the early 2000s (when I got my first DSL connection but before JS became a thing).
1. Move here and get a job, I have no idea what the visa system is like for wherever your country is, but if you work in tech that's a good start.
2. Get a VPN