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Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

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Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#31

Post by jklein11 »

forapurpose wrote: post #27
hluska wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a literal ton of research that indicates in acute situations, CBT is a very efficient way to gain coping mechanisms. It may take some time (or other methods) to solve underlying issues, but CBT can act as a temporary crutch. CBT is also interesting because this individual is experiencing some financial problems. One of the dirty little secrets of being near financial ruin is that you end up relying upon free…

I'm not a professional; I would strongly caution against offering or following non-professional advice in a situation like this one. IME, even professionals - experts in their field - will not offer advice based on such limited information. If for some reason I can't imagine I offered such advice, I would do so in as judiciously, measured, and precise a way as possible. Hyperbole is, IMHO, not an indicator carefully…

While I agree with your sentiment, is there any harm in going for cognitive behavioral therapy? I haven't read any commenter say that it should be the only arrow in the quiver, but seeking help seems like a logical first step.

That said, I 100% agree. I want to get my mental health advice from mental health professionals who fully understand my situation, not random people on the internet who have a paragraph on my situation.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#32

Post by forapurpose »

jklein11 wrote: post #31
forapurpose wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not a professional; I would strongly caution against offering or following non-professional advice in a situation like this one. IME, even professionals - experts in their field - will not offer advice based on such limited information. If for some reason I can't imagine I offered such advice, I would do so in as judiciously, measured, and precise a way as possible. Hyperbole is, IMHO, not an indicator carefully…

While I agree with your sentiment, is there any harm in going for cognitive behavioral therapy? I haven't read any commenter say that it should be the only arrow in the quiver, but seeking help seems like a logical first step. That said, I 100% agree. I want to get my mental health advice from mental health professionals who fully understand my situation, not random people on the internet who have a paragraph on my s…

> is there any harm in going for cognitive behavioral therapy?

I don't know; I'm not a professional.

As an analogy, imagine a non-technical small business owner asked a psychologist, 'is there any harm in starting this critical, time-sensitive project in Java?'? Clearly the psychologist should say, 'I don't know; I have no expertise in software development.' But you could imagine the psychologist saying, not personally knowing of a difference between Java and other languages, or knowing someone whose Java project went well or reading something about how great Java is, saying, 'sure, what's the harm?'

The professional's answer to the hypothetical Java question is, yes, there very well may be harm. At least there's a good chance of opportunity cost because you may have to start over. But you know how these things go, especially on time-sensitive projects - once started in Java, probably they will be stuck with that technical debt and the compromises of the wrong choice for the life of the software. And this is a critical project. Letting a professional take even a quick look at your project beforehand could save you a lot of unnecessary pain.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#33

Post by RaceWon »

I assume you have a tech background; if you are near any hospitals, especially those owned by large healthcare organizations, they would be the perfect place to try and get a job at.

After a 3 month probation period, you would get Extremely affordable healthcare, boatloads of PTO, and the organization I work for will even go out of their way to accommodate employees who have a medical condition.

Keep in mind that ADD can also be an ADA protected condition.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#34

Post by throwaway413 »

throwawaydev00 wrote: post #26

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your support everyone. I’m far from out of the woods yet, without all the support and suggestions shown here I don’t want to imagine how much worse off I’d be today. First thing this morning I spoke to someone at my work about my isssues. It was difficult to work up the courage to speak, but I kept all of the support you had all given me to heart and knew what I had…

Great job, keep facing your fears and it will only become easier and easier.

“A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” - Tim Ferriss

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#35

Post by Jeremy1026 »

throwawaydev00 wrote: post #26

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your support everyone. I’m far from out of the woods yet, without all the support and suggestions shown here I don’t want to imagine how much worse off I’d be today. First thing this morning I spoke to someone at my work about my isssues. It was difficult to work up the courage to speak, but I kept all of the support you had all given me to heart and knew what I had…

I came late, but my advice was going to be to talk to those who were involved in the performance plan and let them know what was going on. A good employer doesn't want to lose a good employee if they can help it. Looks like you have a good employer based on this update.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#36

Post by fjones12 »

throwawaydev00 wrote: post #26

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your support everyone. I’m far from out of the woods yet, without all the support and suggestions shown here I don’t want to imagine how much worse off I’d be today. First thing this morning I spoke to someone at my work about my isssues. It was difficult to work up the courage to speak, but I kept all of the support you had all given me to heart and knew what I had…

Thank you for the update, and serious kudos for doing what you did. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to talk to someone at work, but you did it. Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts as you get through this.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#37

Post by dang »

tytytytytytytyt wrote: post #6

What 'few mishaps' wiped out your savings? You say that casually, like you forgot to return a library book on time. Why didn't you have much to begin with? Those are 2 giant red flags. > Does anyone have suggestions? Develop much better lifestyle habits. It's hard to say much else since you're hiding all real detail from us.

In context, this is attacking someone for being vulnerable. That breaks HN's civility rule and is not ok here. Please don't post like this again.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Edit: since you continued to be aggressive downthread, I've banned the account. If you don't want to be banned, you're welcome to email hn@ycombinator.com and give us reason to believe that you'll follow the rules in the future.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#38

Post by dang »

tytytytytytytyt wrote: post #12
simmanian wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't follow. Are you implying that he has these issues because he spends all of his money on drugs? The guy came here to ask for help and you're attacking him for.. not sharing enough details?? What details could you possibly want that he hasn't provided yet? Would you be willing to help if he discloses his bank statements for the past 6 months? Is this exchange really all you can offer to people in need?

Asking him for more details isn't attacking him. How is that hard to follow? No, I'm not implying whatever baloney you feel like inventing here. > What details could you possibly want that he hasn't provided yet? The ones he provided after I asked him for more details. Are you even reading the thread? Did you not notice that he provided them after I asked for them? > Is this exchange really all you can offer to peopl…

We've banned this account for repeatedly violating the site guidelines.

Re: Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

#39

Post by jklein11 »

forapurpose wrote: post #32
jklein11 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I agree with your sentiment, is there any harm in going for cognitive behavioral therapy? I haven't read any commenter say that it should be the only arrow in the quiver, but seeking help seems like a logical first step. That said, I 100% agree. I want to get my mental health advice from mental health professionals who fully understand my situation, not random people on the internet who have a paragraph on my s…

> is there any harm in going for cognitive behavioral therapy? I don't know; I'm not a professional. As an analogy, imagine a non-technical small business owner asked a psychologist, 'is there any harm in starting this critical, time-sensitive project in Java?'? Clearly the psychologist should say, 'I don't know; I have no expertise in software development.' But you could imagine the psychologist saying, not personal…

I understand that you are not a professional, but the cognitive behavioral therapist is.

I would liken this to going to a Java developer with your business problem and seeing if this would help. There is a chance that they might say "I can't help with this problem but approach XYZ might be worth exploring." Sure, this might not be an optimal approach to architecting your application, but it is at least a step in the right direction.

Furthermore psychologists are licensed, highly regulated, and must commit to an oath of doing no harm.

I think one of the most important things for someone who is having mental is that they reach out for help. I think any advice which slows that down is dangerous.

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