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Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

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Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#31

Post by wilsonnb »

I'm only 23 but I think about leaving the tech field every day. I have also been depressed (not sure if I would say clinically depressed, but depressed) for a while now.

The only advice I have to give is that most bad things aren't as bad as we think they will be and most good things aren't as good as we think they will be.

You'll find plenty of reasons to become a ski instructor and plenty of reasons to take a 9-5 job, along with even more reasons not to do both. If you can find a way to relieve the pressure of making the "right" choice, it will be easier to make a good choice. Which, realistically, is probably either!

I'm not sure if that will help but I really hope that you enjoy your life, regardless of what you decide.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#32

Post by wilsonnb »

hn92933jd wrote: post #26

What is the worst case scenario when becoming a ski instructor? Is it that you have fewer regrets, enjoy yourself, make less money, and delay taking an office job for a few years?

I mean, more young people probably die skiing than sitting in an office.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#33

Post by hamburglar1 »

I'm 24 and quit my tech job in November to become a ski instructor. It was the season of a lifetime for sure, not just hedonistically, but holistically. Stepping out of the "working world" gives you perspective on what really matters to you and how you want to organize your life. When you are skiing everyday, you realize that you really don't need a whole lot to live on the day to day. You make friends because you share an intense common interest with everyone in town. You see the lifestyles of people outside the tech bubble and that inevitably causes self-reflection.

It won't hurt your career and I've had no problem in a few interviews explain why I went and what I learned.

Feel free to AMA but if you have the money to last 6 months in a cheap apartment drinking cheap beer and eating half-off specials, send it.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#34

Post by jonnycoder »

I’m in my 30s and finding it harder to leave my tech job. My sanity comes from golf, playing outside with my dog, and working outdoors on my property. If you were to ask me what I would do if I could retire tomorrow comfortably, I could immediately write an essay of my goals and what I would start doing tomorrow. If you are in a similar mindset regarding that question of retirement, maybe ski instruction is the right move. If not, perhaps take the safe route for now.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#35

Post by meric »

borplk wrote: post #9

Try to adapt your lifestyle so that you can tolerate the 9 to 5 office job without getting depressed. That could mean consciously making the best use of your time outside of 9 to 5 (take vacations, exercise, healthy diet, good sleep, relax after work, enjoy the weekends, etc). Then slowly and over the longer term improve the situation to your liking strategically (for example by strategically changing jobs). Taking e…

IMO everything borpik says hits the mark.

But if I were you I'd save up for a few years, throw away my career and work as a Ski instructor for a year or two anyways just to see how bad it turns out.

It's one thing to hear from others how extreme steps are unlikely to lead to a good outcome, and how we are trading one set of problems for another, but it's quite another to never have taken extreme steps in life and wonder "what if"?

Then once you're through with skiing, come back to programming. :)

Take the job, work a couple of years, then go Ski to your heart's discontent.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#36

Post by eshwar »

Step 1. Balance. (Like a lot of other people have said here)

And I mean Balance on all dimensions of how you are as a person. Mental and Physical being the primary ones. There are other dimensions but that's outside the scope of this context.

Once this is set (and its a lot of work, mind you) then it doesn't matter if you do software engineering or skiing or X.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#37

Post by Jack000 »

throw_this_one wrote: post #30
Jack000 wrote: post #24

I quit my corporate software job in 2014 to travel (I was 26). I don't regret the choice, but the thing I didn't expect was how hard it would be to make friends without a school or work environment.

Isn't that how it is in real life in general? If your work colleagues are duds, you're kind of on your own. At least traveling you can fall back on hostel friends, Couchsurfing or Meetup, or going out for a beer and meeting people who might be interested in a foreigner.

the main difference is length of interaction. With work/school the people in your social circle will be there for years, for better or worse. Friends made while travelling tend to be more ephemeral.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#38

Post by mod »

wilsonnb wrote: post #32
hn92933jd wrote: post #26

What is the worst case scenario when becoming a ski instructor? Is it that you have fewer regrets, enjoy yourself, make less money, and delay taking an office job for a few years?

I mean, more young people probably die skiing than sitting in an office.

Death is the worst case scenario in both situations; it has no bearing on making a decision here. It's also exceedingly unlikely.

The worst case scenario that is likely is, as said, making less money, possibly being unable to re-enter the tech field (though I consider that too unlikely to consider as well).

There's no obvious major downside to trying the ski instructor gig. I'd go for it if I thought I wanted it.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#39

Post by borplk »

meric wrote: post #35
borplk wrote: post #9

Try to adapt your lifestyle so that you can tolerate the 9 to 5 office job without getting depressed. That could mean consciously making the best use of your time outside of 9 to 5 (take vacations, exercise, healthy diet, good sleep, relax after work, enjoy the weekends, etc). Then slowly and over the longer term improve the situation to your liking strategically (for example by strategically changing jobs). Taking e…

IMO everything borpik says hits the mark. But if I were you I'd save up for a few years, throw away my career and work as a Ski instructor for a year or two anyways just to see how bad it turns out. It's one thing to hear from others how extreme steps are unlikely to lead to a good outcome, and how we are trading one set of problems for another, but it's quite another to never have taken extreme steps in life and won…

Yes I agree with this especially if you are at the beginning you can just "delay" your normal career stuff a bit and go screw around for a year or two.

It's good to try things out and either it will work or you will just "get it out of your system" and go back to whatever you were doing with more appreciation. Just keep it "cheap" and don't sacrifice too much just for an experiment.

Re: Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

#40

Post by throwawaymanbot »

Dude, you are 25... try it out till you are 35! Theres no rules. Do what makes you happy. You can do programming part time. And you will always have programming.

By the way, the whole "meaningful life" thing is just a scam. Its a Hallmark type motivational slogan. Real life is anything but meaningful most of the time. I mean some times it is, sometimes it is not. But just focus on doing your thing, meaningful will take care of itself.

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