Ask HN: What to do if I’m about to lose my job to mental health issues

I’ve had a history of mental health issues (diagnosed with depression and ADD).

I left my last job in part to symptoms of depression caused by stress.

I assumed that removing the stress would allow me to recover, but a new set of stressors caused me to quickly “regress” back into a deep depression.

While my work has been commended, my attendance and work relations have suffered, and I was put on a performance improvement plan.

I only recently started to seek treatment again, and the performance evaluation period is almost up. I believe it is likely I will lose my job.

What steps do I take from here? My small amount of savings were mostly wiped out between moving to the new job and a few mishaps since then.

I want to take a break and work on my mental health, but I honestly can’t afford it. Even a week or two of joblessness would financially ruin me currently.

I know I waited too long to do something. By the time I had mustered up the courage to do something, it was too late. The constant anxiety from the thought of possibly losing my job and possibly worse is only making things worse.

It feels foolish to almost “dump” my problem here but I feel crippled and don’t know what to do. Does anyone have suggestions?

That is such a difficult place to find yourself; you have my complete sympathy.

First, I'd try to find a mental health professional who also has expertise with career counseling in your field.[0] That person can help you put together a realistic plan based on your capabilities, limitations, and the realities of the job market - they've solved this problem many times, so they'll know about possibilities that you don't, and they'll help you anticipate what will work well for you in the long term.

Everyone has real limitations and IMHO the great majority of people are doing the best they can with what they have. The other people might not talk about their problems and often don't even face them, so you are ahead of the game by taking this step. You just have a mismatch between your job and your current capabilities; it's easy to figure out that you shouldn't be a concert pianist, but some other things are much tougher - especially things we all are conditioned not to face, such as mental health. You only need to find what fits your capabilities and you'll be happy doing. Imagine what a relief it will be not to struggle against the tide every day.

As far as immediate income, I'd find something that induces as little stress as possible, based on what you know, while you make a long-term plan for what works for you. Don't worry if it's a great career move; take care of yourself for now.

And do your best to put your support system to work. You may be surprised how well people who love you respond.

One more thing: The bias against mental health problems is ignorant bullshit. Their insightful analysis is, 'I can't see it, so it must not exist'. Don't be stupid like they are (ignore them and maybe they won't exist). Be realistic about your problem, accept yourself, and I hope you have some compassion for yourself - it sucks, and you didn't ask for it. The fact that you put off dealing with it is natural; we're all conditioned to expect we'll fit a one-size-fits-all career and to think that mental health problems should just be ignored (that same reasoning: if you ignore it then somehow it won't exist). Now's a great chance to point the rest of your life in a healthy direction.

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago; the second best time is now.

[0] Most mental health professionals have experience only with careers in their own profession and lack expertise in career counseling. I'd look for someone with both skills. My first approach would be recommendations from businesses on who they send employees to; likely those mental health pros will grasp the business and career side of it. If asking your employer isn't a good option, I'd bet the HR at almost any business would give you a name; maybe contact the HR at some top companies like Google, tell them your situation, and ask if they can recommend someone. It's simple for them and most people would be happy to help someone.

Have you gotten any help while you were not attending work? Are you taking medication or seeing a therapist? I think you can try to be honest with your manager and explain what you are going through ask them for an extension and that you will work to meet deadlines and also seek help. Worrying and being scared won't solve your problems so you need to take action and try so salvage your role. I suffer from depression and there are times where i would've love nothing more than to stay home and not deal with work, but at the end of the day I know i have to be responsible for my condition and seek help. I got medication and therapy and i am functional nothing is perfect but i still have a job and have to manage. You can do it , just talk to your boss or HR.

If you are in short term disability our long term .. then employer may not be able to let you go... But once you come back then they can... And if you are referring from mental health issues and seeking help ... It may work to buy some time...

> But to your comment, I feel like I gave all the details there are.

Obviously not, or I wouldn't have asked. And then you go on to mention the details that I asked about...

> There's no need to get sanctimonious to someone who's already down.

I was asking for real details, since with the level of issues you seem to have, it seems like you need to do more than just put bandaids on things. Asking for real details when you come here with a serious problem isn't 'being sanctimonious'.

> First I want to apologize for only replying to a comment like this.

If anyone's been sanctimonious, it's you.