Ask HN: Tips on coping with my quarter-life crisis

A good step in addressing depression is to talk with a licensed clinical mental health professional. Clinical depression is not caused by vocational choice. It is a medical condition. Good luck.

There's no right answer. Having a nice steady pay check isn't horrible. If you have job offers probably a good idea to take the job get some experience. If you like to ski try to stay close to a place to ski(even if it's for less money). There are collaborative parts to being a developer. Look into becoming a project manager or business analyst. get a certification as a scrum master.

maybe look at getting a trade job as an electrician. More hands on. Or apply to power companies. maybe if you like traveling find a company that will force, make you, I mean, let you travel...your still young. Nothings set in stone. Maybe take some time to decompress. you can do what ever you want.

So I don't have any specific advice, per se, but I want to offer my experience as perspective. I am 26 and have had similar thoughts and bouts with depression.

I have a pretty diverse work background. I come from a degree in fine arts, have worked multiple minimum wage jobs, outdoor jobs, and desk jockey jobs since graduation in 2014. My current position is in an office in a tech hub city, and I am in the process of finalizing an offer to transition into a coding career.

Throughout all the jobs I've held, the different work environments, and the grind - my depression hasn't actually eased up or gone away. It just shifts its focus to other areas of my life that I get anxious/worried/feelings of depression about.

It's easy to romanticize an outdoor lifestyle and active job, but just like anything, there are pros and cons.

I would suggest focusing first and foremost on getting your depression under control. It's easy to cast blame on your current work/housing/love/social situation as the cause, but it's just your depressed brain projecting and deflecting. Changing careers drastically now may feel liberating at first, but I guarantee that the feelings of crisis will creep back in over time.

Once you have some tools to better manage your depression and outlook, things will become clear.

As for your career - you are in a good position right now. You have a masters degree and offers on the table. My guy reaction is to tell you to accept one, go and work for a year or two, and re-evaluate. Maybe the feelings of disliking offices and not leading a meaningful life will dissipate if you are busy working on interesting problems, or have fun/smart co workers to be around. Worst case you get a year or two experience and know for sure that you don't want to be in an office.

I don't know what your work history is like, but I can tell you from my own experience that making very little money contributed much more to my feelings of depression and angst than working a boring/un-filling job that paid well. As a fellow lover of skiing (started when I was 2 years old) who taught weekends throughout highschool and college - the money is crap and the weather gets to you quickly. If you already know all this, then best of luck. I still day dream of quitting to do the same thing.

Tbh - there is a very good chance that you could do both things (assuming you actually like coding and aren't just fed up with it right now). Why not work an office job for a few years and try to pivot that into a remote/part time/consulting gig that allows you to work a few hours a day and ski/instruct the rest?

My point is - there are a lot of paths to take. Don't get tricked into thinking that it is an all or nothing choice right now. We are conditioned to plan our lives from A to B and follow the playbook, but you can throw that playbook right out the window.

To reiterate, your first step is getting your brain balanced out. However you accomplish that is very personal and not something I am qualified to guide you on. If you really think that switching career paths will do that, then go for it! But if I were in your position I would pursue coding for now and re-evaluate in a year or two. The mountains aren't going anywhere.

Good luck.

This is great advice. I'm also 26 and have come to the same basic realization (although only have worked one mundane IT job these past 3 years). The key is to develop a stoic mindset that can adapt to any phase of life you're in. Enjoying the present, doing your best, etc. Remind yourself when you forget. One thing I like to do is to imagine my current surroundings are in a foreign country, and for some reason it makes things more interesting and less mundane.

But I do think that some of this depression can come from not "letting it rip" and going after some goals. The fear of time passing you by and you never took a shot. So for me, I want to go do a slower type of travel where I can get fluent in a language or two. And sometimes, the thought that I'm not doing that and sitting in a desk job that is boring during my best years, makes me depressed.

The biggest task is: how do you link up the things you'd have the courage to "take the shot" for with things that can sustain you and your eventual future family? Still trying to figure that one out.

Best advice ever.