Is there a fix for impostor syndrome? • Hacker News Board

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#101

Post by madaxe_again » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:12 AM UTC

js8 wrote: post #16

I might have an impostor syndrome at work. And I am somewhat anxious about it. And I feel like it decreases my performance by quite a bit. And luckily, my managers understand it and are very supportive of me. However, I have a question (and this is going meta). Maybe my managers are too understanding about it. Sometimes I wish they give me a harder time, and feel like I don't get reprimanded for failure enough and st…

Maybe we are all impostors

This, a thousandfold.

I have struggled with impostor syndrome throughout my life - it doesn’t help that my 35 years to date look like a smacked out Mary Sue fantasy. In my previous business I often felt like I was pulling the wool over the eyes of the world - what right did I have to lead these people, to charge those people, to make these decisions?

Well, none, and neither does anyone else.

Through my dealings with other business owners, from small outfits through to the gods of the world of commerce, I have come to realise that everybody in any position of power or responsibility is faking it to some degree or another - or even more interestingly, they believe they are faking it, even when the results are tangible and real. I often find just talking to other people in a similar position really helps, as you rapidly realise that not only is what you’re feeling not unique, it is practically a universal maxim.

Where I ended up was concluding that we are all wittingly or unwittingly impostors, and the only actual question is whether it’s something worth being bothered by.

It’s the unwitting impostors you have to keep an eye on - hubris and incompetence are a dangerous combination.

Being aware of your own limitations brings humility, which is good in that it imbues striving, through which you grow your limits.

In short, we are all impostors. Being aware of and treating this as a law of being is a useful step in understanding both yourself and how to optimally operate the world in which we live.

People will agree to almost anything which makes them feel like less of an impostor.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#102

Post by psyc » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:14 AM UTC

taurath wrote: post #23

ztjio wrote: post #8

Funny story, in 15 years of professional software development I never experienced the sense of imposter syndrome until very recently when I decided after 12 years at one employer (on many satisfying projects) I needed to consider expanding my employment options. AKA I started looking for a new job. Once I got a whiff of the putrid state of hiring in our industry today holy hell... Sure, I’ve been successful at this f…

Every high performer at my workplace states regularly that they wouldn’t be able to pass the entrance exam at the place they currently work. It’s a cruel fucking environment.

This has bitten me in the past. When I worked at a certain company, you had to do a full 8 hours of whiteboard coding in order to transfer laterally. So I was permanently stuck in the team that hired me, despite having the best possible performance reviews year after year. All because I can't think very well when I'm anxious and someone is looking over my shoulder judging me. I can solve algorithm problems just fine when I'm left to concentrate.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#103

Post by draugadrotten » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:14 AM UTC

tudorconstantin wrote: post #19

The lack of the imposter syndrome for me as a programmer is a signal that I start to plateau. Therefore I kind of search to attain it by either negotiate a higher pay, or start working with a new technology, or switch jobs. I lived with this syndrome for the most part of my 12 years of professional programming.

I work in management and I treat impostor syndrome as a signal, like you.

I have recognized that I feel impostor syndrome when I am surrounded by people who are great at what they do. Great coders, greatminds and great leaders. How could I possibly compete with these people, my subconscious says.

Well, this is how I grow. Steel sharpens steel. I have learned to accept that I am good at what I do, even when others are great at what they do. If I feel impostor syndrom, it means I am surrounded by people who, given management is good, will make everyone in the team grow and prosper. I will connect with the people I can learn the most from.

When I no longer feels impostor syndrome it is because I am surrounded by people who all treat me as their mentor or senior - and it is time to move on.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#104

Post by antyph » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:16 AM UTC

I had it for most of my career until I realized that I should trust the opinion of the people who employed me. They had read my CV, marked my tests, interviewed me repeatedly and decided they liked me and trusted my abilites, so I should too. Sure, in my mind I'm not as good as hundreds of brilliant people I look up to, but that's ok. It's not about being on a linear scale, it's about fitting a niche.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#105

Post by cup-of-tea » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:19 AM UTC

throwaway84742 wrote: post #30

Why is this article about women? Men suffer from it just the same. There seems to be this perception that men are somehow immune to the various work related shit. That’s not the case at all. The best fix I’ve been able to find is to note and recall significant achievements: delivering projects, getting promoted, getting hired by top companies in the field, graduating with honors from one of the top schools. Think rat…

This is a good question. Downvoted because it's unfashionably gender neutral, of course. This post should be titled "Is there a fix for impostor syndrome for women?" If you're a man just deal with it, as usual.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#106

Post by arghwhat » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:20 AM UTC

rajacombinator wrote: post #92

It seems to be a very 'millennial' syndrome. Were people complaining of imposter syndrome 20 or 30 years ago? I wonder if it's because people born after, say 1990, didn't have to 'hack' on computers much growing up, and hence lack some of the environmental osmosis comfort level some older folks have. Or could it be that programming has proliferated enough as a profession, and programmers generally lack the social ski…

I wouldn't call it "millennial" rather than "modern", and not just because I despise the American generation names.

I believe impostor syndrome requires both a bright mind, a successful career in a mental labor job (academia, engineering, ...), and exposure to minds that seem brighter. I doubt impostor syndrome is much of a problem in physical labor jobs, as physical labor is easily observed, both by others and by yourself (you can't hide failure in installing a tire on a rim).

Higher education, autodidactism through the internet and mental labor jobs are much more wide-spread than they were a generation or two ago. Here in Denmark, education inflation has basically made Ph.D.'s the norm.

The extremely filtered connectivity of social networks only showing each others "best side" making them appear perfect, as well as a vast amount of information available on the internet from brilliant scholars making your knowledge seem insignificant, are great catalysts for an inferiority complex. Combine that with an accomplished career, and you have impostor syndrome.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#107

Post by chrisbennet » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:22 AM UTC

rajacombinator wrote: post #92

It seems to be a very 'millennial' syndrome. Were people complaining of imposter syndrome 20 or 30 years ago? I wonder if it's because people born after, say 1990, didn't have to 'hack' on computers much growing up, and hence lack some of the environmental osmosis comfort level some older folks have. Or could it be that programming has proliferated enough as a profession, and programmers generally lack the social ski…

I think the internet has increased the visibility of the experts in our profession. Before, you compared yourself to everyone you ever worked with and ignored the outliers like Knuth.

Now we are constantly bombarded by so many blogs/examples of extremely talented individuals that it’s easier to think you’re way below “average”.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#108

Post by kreetx » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:25 AM UTC

js8 wrote: post #16

I might have an impostor syndrome at work. And I am somewhat anxious about it. And I feel like it decreases my performance by quite a bit. And luckily, my managers understand it and are very supportive of me. However, I have a question (and this is going meta). Maybe my managers are too understanding about it. Sometimes I wish they give me a harder time, and feel like I don't get reprimanded for failure enough and st…

A deadpan answer but: lose the syndrom but still keep trying to achieve more.

It's often that you're not expected to do the "right thing" since the expector doesn't know the area well enough (i.e in software dev). The choice and risk are yours to take, and the better you get at this the better you really are.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#109

Post by andrewwharton » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:29 AM UTC

reacweb wrote: post #68

DenisM wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If C should be paid for, then should A be paid for as well? If not, why not?

In A both the interviewer and the interviewee are giving a similar amount of time. In C, only one is giving time. To compensate, the other should give money.

In C the interviewer is also spending time reviewing the assignment. Maybe not the same amount, but if you also have a handful of your current devs review it and give their feedback, the company time spent on it might not be trivial.

Also there is usually more than one person sitting with the interviewee when they come in, so the company time spent is multiplied at that stage.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#110

Post by catach » Thu, May 03, 2018, 9:30 AM UTC

madaxe_again wrote: post #101

js8 wrote: post #16

I might have an impostor syndrome at work. And I am somewhat anxious about it. And I feel like it decreases my performance by quite a bit. And luckily, my managers understand it and are very supportive of me. However, I have a question (and this is going meta). Maybe my managers are too understanding about it. Sometimes I wish they give me a harder time, and feel like I don't get reprimanded for failure enough and st…

Maybe we are all impostors This, a thousandfold. I have struggled with impostor syndrome throughout my life - it doesn’t help that my 35 years to date look like a smacked out Mary Sue fantasy. In my previous business I often felt like I was pulling the wool over the eyes of the world - what right did I have to lead these people, to charge those people, to make these decisions? Well, none, and neither does anyone else…

Perhaps we feel compelled to assume that the people in charge know what they're doing since the alternative is deeply unsettling.