Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#31

Post by okeumeni » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 3:23 PM UTC

From my own experience: It may seem crazy, but try this.

Climb down your geek tower and stop judging people (you may be judging people without even knowing it), then will come respect for people.

When you respect anyone around, you will gradually find interest in them; That will help break the ice, conversation will come easy and you’ll found out that people are much interesting than you think.

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#32

Post by Prrometheus » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 3:34 PM UTC

swoodtke wrote: post #18

I went with my friend to the convenience store on the weekend. He spent a couple of minutes chatting with the clerk behind the counter while I watched. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He later told me that he didn't feel at all comfortable during the conversation. He said that he has been trying to "bust out of his geeky shell" by talking to random people. To me it looked like he was just a friend…

It's like playing a sport: it takes practice to become a natural at it.

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#33

Post by jdavid » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 3:42 PM UTC

I suggest reading the following books, but I also suggest not using their suggestions. These books are merely for awareness. I fee like knowing what was out there, gave me more confidence while I was trying to find my own style.

[the Game] - this book is about the secret lives of pickup artists and their quest to find either a Beta or Alpha Gal. This book offers- ZERO advice if you are looking for a Gamma.

[The Art of Deception: Controlling the Human Element of Security] - from Kevin Mitnick, one of the fore-most books on social engineering. Reading this book kept us out of a few scams.

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#34

Post by nomad » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 3:56 PM UTC

Not focusing on how you feel socially inept goes a long way. People will cut you some slack if you cut yourself some.

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#35

Post by dskhatri » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 4:31 PM UTC

Consider attending events about things you're interested in/ where the you have similar interests with the people attending. For example, you could go to more alumni events. Go with the intention of meeting at least 5 new people. You don't have to end up with their business card or contact information. Just practice as someone else mentioned. You'll find yourself gaining more confidence and you can start branching out to other kinds of events. This is what I did and it helped me.

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#36

Post by caveman82 » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 4:38 PM UTC

Smile :-)

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#37

Post by hobbs » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 4:49 PM UTC

Just remember WWAPD: What Would Austin Powers Do?

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#38

Post by rokhayakebe » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 5:08 PM UTC

You need not to talk much. I have read somewhere that if you listen 90% of the time and talk 10% of the time, people will find you very interesting and socially adept. Life as an introvert can be quite hard.

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#39

Post by ecommercematt » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 5:08 PM UTC

clay wrote: post #11

I've heard improv classes go a long way.

They worked wonders for Michael Scott on "The Office."

Re: Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?

#40

Post by mlinsey » Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 5:19 PM UTC

mrtron wrote: post #19

Read "How to Make Friends and Influence People". Oh you said besides that...well practice what it preaches. Us folk (geeks/nerds/hackers) tend to like to show how much we know about a subject. Some old dude is talking about how his phone can now surf the web...what do you say? Act a bit surprised and ask him a bit more about the subject. Let HIM show what he knows, and get that little feeling of self-importance. Don'…

I found that "How to Make Friends and Influence People" was really good but more suited to the workplace/building up business contacts.