Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

qz.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

251–260 of 332 posts

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#251

Post by legionof7 »

chrischen wrote: post #101
legionof7 wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly feel that IRL, height is less important than a lot of people think. I'm a 5'5 man.

It is ultimately superficial once someone knows more about you, but that doesn't stop people from setting it as their pre-filter before they see what they truly want. You ask people to improve the carriage, they'll tell you to make a faster horse. If you ask a woman what they want, they'll tell you tall dark and handsome.

Yeah, I'm sure that being short makes it harder to get past the initial filter, but the nice thing is, once you get past it, you know that it's because they like you internally, not just superficially.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#252

Post by leeoniya »

tryonqc wrote: post #240
leeoniya wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

with most animals, it is the male that pursues and the female that chooses. i honestly cannot think of an exception to this pattern.

Not really. This is old thinking. The theory of sexual selection has been evolving in the past few years. BBC has a good intro on the subject: http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160624-we-have-the-wrong-id...

i skimmed the article and did not find anything stating that females frequently and actively compete for males. there are a lot of other counterexamples to anthropomorphic behavior there [that has been assigned to sexes] but not the specific one we're discussing here. i think the generalization at hand is on pretty solid footing.

it's really the same for all generalizations. i can make the statement, "males are attracted to females" and it will be true in 95%+ of cases. just because some limited counterexamples exist does not make this generalization a poor representation - these are not laws of physics or mathematical axioms that need absolute conformance to be usefully true.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#253

Post by HeyLaughingBoy »

rosege wrote: post #88
Throwaway198724 wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I was using dating sites, I did the same on OkCupid, and signed up a fake account with the photos of a woman that was slightly above average in appearance. I was curious to see how many messages I would receive, but more importantly, the type and quality of those messages. I thought that would give me a better idea of how to write my own messages (e.g. if 90% of messages were asking the same question, I didn't w…

Your comment also reminded me of something I saw. Some guy put the photos of a male model on his profile then started messaging women with really crude/direct messages that there is no way the average guy would have got anywhere with or would have been shouted down - from what he made out nearly all of them sent him their number straight away

Maybe.

But I think OP's getting results because he's being funny, sounds interesting and is creative. That gets you a long way with most people, men or women.

Most guys on dating sites (going from the women who've shown me profiles of those who messaged them), are creepy, reek of desperation, and have absolutely no self-esteem.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#254

Post by misterbowfinger »

Oh my lord, these comments are really surfacing the number of incels and MRA's on hacker news. Wow.

When I hear criticisms of the tech community being so bro-y and full of insecure dudes, I tend to rebuff them because I don't personally see it as much. But man, that behavior is coming out in full force on this post.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#255

Post by jessriedel »

patentatt wrote: post #230
throw2016 wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This kind of research depends on some degree of frankness that may not always be available due to social stereotypes, religious stereotypes and other traditional 'purity' and shaming constraints operating on women. It would be healthier to assume both sexes have fully functioning sex drives, perhaps stronger in some individuals and discard the outdated notion that women are not as 'interested' in sex or need to be 'p…

It’s pretty naive to think that any disparity between sex drives is a social construct

I'd say it's the opposite of naive. That boys are different than girls is taken as an obvious truth by young children. Believing otherwise requires advanced mental gymnastics. (Or advanced insight, depending on your opinion on the issue.)

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#256

Post by swyx »

welly wrote: post #119
swyx wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

threads like these make me despair about ever dating ever again. as a society we should be concerned about what tinder and bumble are doing to us, but -no one- has the power to stop it because it appeals to such base instincts.

I met my girlfriend on Bumble. We have a great relationship, now almost a year in. Bumble, Tinder etc. are only tools, it's how we use them and plenty of us are quite capable of using them in a "moral" and savoury way. So it's "doing" nothing to many of us.

in the same way that soda and junk food is readily available and is causing an obesity crisis. if "plenty of you" are quite capable of eating well despite that, it still is a problem. Have empathy for problems that you don't personally have.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#257

Post by virgil_disgr4ce »

noir_lord wrote: post #126
factsaresacred wrote: post #121

His blog may not be to everyone's taste, but the writer 'Delicious Tacos' pioneered this with OK Cupid years ago. On his blog he shares his online dating exploits along with some nice openers ("You are attractive, and I want to go out with you. Basically" being one that I stole and overused). Anyway, all that online dating made him horribly cynical. But damn if it doesn't make for good writing: > If she doesn’t give…

I heard the horror stories about online dating however my experience as a man was nothing but positive. I got responses maybe half the time and a date (coffee, nothing involving alcohol) maybe a third - I probably messaged 15 women over a year. Two proper relationships and one that is two years old in July and I plan to spend the rest of my life in. I did not use the shotgun approach, I excluded any woman who didn't…

OK, so... since no one else has asked... are you really hot?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#258

Post by forgottenpass »

nkrisc wrote: post #194
cm2187 wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Particularly given that in the current environment any form of flirting can be treated as sexual harassment and have dire consequences for the party taking the initiative.

If you think that flirting can be mistaken as sexual harassment then that tells me you have no idea how to flirt.

It doesn't work like that. Every assumption from a reasonable person that hasn't had cynicism seared into them through experience would make the same conclusion about the world as you do, but, well, here's a reddit comment that explains it better than I ever could:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OneY/comments/7elhvu/men_at_work_wo...

> Men, most men, arent afraid that they dont know how to treat women with respect. Which every single comment to the article suggests men dont...every fucking one. [...]

> What men are worried about is how can they interact with women and KNOW that there is no way they are going to have to defend against a sexual harassment accusation and lose their careers. Thats the question men want answers to and thats why suddenly even crack-pot [Vice President] Pence makes some fucking sense.

> Which is what the NYT couldnt bring itself to say. Because even if it did, it knows theres no answer.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#259

Post by forgottenpass »

orcdork wrote: post #122
dr1337 wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK rather than outright calling this out as "redpill bullshit" can you refute it with any substance?

Refute what exactly? A bunch of assumptions and pseudo-statistics?

Well, yeah, sure, why not?

"A bunch of assumptions and pseudo-statistics" could be Hacker News' official tag line. What makes this thread special?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#260

Post by gawkface »

0xdeadbeefbabe wrote: post #244
magduf wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, but what about the flip side? Not all women are desirable to men: fat, unattractive, already have kids, etc. There's a lot of women who just never get a date, because their photos aren't very attractive and men want pretty women (I'm a man and I'll admit this readily: if a woman is a little overweight that's an automatic disqualifier for me).

pretty == underdeveloped. Ignore this phenomenon to your own peril.

Except some guys do know how to "look" at girls rather than ogle
Post reply on HN