21–30 of 106 posts
1) practice a lot
2) recognize/record your problems/faults/issues.
3) work on either improving the improvable problems, or working around the unimprovable ones.
it would really help to have a friend looking on from the outside to help note problems. you have to be really open to change to make this work, though.
Find a fellow nerd and go to events together. Make it a project to encourage each other; that is, if I don't muster up the courage to meet someone and start a conversation, then you get a demerit. It's almost uncanny how we will find a way to succeed given a limited scope, easily defined problem. Once you get into the swing of things, instinct takes over and you'll be fine. You probably have something interesting to…
I'm with you on taking a buddy - nothing like the spirit of competition to get you over the line. Tech events are great too - barcamps, meetups etc. You'd be surprised at exactly how many hackers don't just defy the monosyllabic geek stereotype, but smash it out of the park.
Iterate until you are comfortable with it, and can leave your wallet at home.
Go to events that you're actually interested in (talking to someone with similar interests is stacking the deck), join a club or society in the same vein. When you've got a free night, check out the local calendar. Whatever you do, just get in the habit of going out, going out, going out! Don't prepare, read up for tips, construct elaborate plans...just go out. Most people are out for the same reason as you. Culley says it best when he says you can't find this in a book. It takes effort.
And remember: the worst thing that can happen is you stay inside and nothing happens.
So, I'd say find someone who's really good at socializing and hang out with him. 1000x better and faster than any book or doing it on your own.
Start by pretending to be genuinely interested in other people's lives, and their problems. If you pretend this for long enough, you'll find yourself actually feeling that way. And then you'll enjoy being around people, because they'll enjoy being around you.
Some people and things are more interesting than others of course. Learning how to gracefully exit a conversation is step #2.
Start by pretending to be genuinely interested in other people's lives, and their problems. If you pretend this for long enough, you'll find yourself actually feeling that way. And then you'll enjoy being around people, because they'll enjoy being around you.
I'm not sure you have to pretend at all. Try to realize that everyone and everything has a story and that it's often interesting to find out what it is. Some people and things are more interesting than others of course. Learning how to gracefully exit a conversation is step #2.