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Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

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Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#221

Post by nojvek »

csomar wrote: post #189
dr1337 wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hope - the best commodity that you can sell. It's no wonder Tinder is up there on the Play Store as the second highest grossing app alongside all the online gambling apps. That's because Tinder and all the online dating platforms are exactly designed to mimic gambling. You can't win if you're not in the game.

The experience is not the same everywhere and in every country. In some countries Tinder has worked for me tremendously.

I created several tinder profiles of men of different ethnicities. As a white person, tinder does wonders. As a brown person, you’re the least desirable.

In Asian countries, white guys are the choosers.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#223

Post by nojvek »

laurieg wrote: post #60
matte_black wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I don’t understand is why so many people (at least women anyway) come to dating apps and declare they are just “looking for friends”. Is this really a thing or is it code for something else? Who is really so oblivious to think that looking for friends of the opposite sex on a dating app where people are there for more than just friendship is a good idea? I would never go on a dating app to find platonic friends.…

Some people are using "just looking for friends" as a filter. They want the person who talks to them to be ok with being friends first before they switch to being romantic. There is often an element of self-deception too. "I'm not the sort of person who would use a dating app, I don't need it" You see a lot of "I'm just trying out this app to kill time" people too. Other people use it as a built-in refusal. They can…

Just friends == polite way of ‘not interested’

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#224

Post by ddorian43 »

magduf wrote: post #203
ddorian43 wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you overweight yourself at all ?

No, not at all. My last girlfriend was largely attracted to me because I'm thin, and she's a fitness nazi and hates fatness.

Seems pretty normal. Like women with shorter guys (and many other stuff on both genders etc)

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#225

Post by rarec »

CiPHPerCoder wrote: post #217
maroonblazer wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not the parent but it's definitely descriptive. Should it be that way? The answer likely depends on whether you're a man or a woman. From the male's POV changing the game benefits us since there's less work to do. If you're a woman then it's the opposite and a net negative. This sexual dynamic evolved for a reason, so changing it seems like the epitome of an uphill battle.

> The answer likely depends on whether you're a man or a woman. From the male's POV changing the game benefits us since there's less work to do. If you're a woman then it's the opposite and a net negative. I don't have a horse in that race, but I do have an ethical concern. If you tell men that they're supposed to try, then it's likely that a lack of success will be met with trying harder . What does this result in,…

That results in what is basically the dating schema for the last century. Men put forth the effort, and women choose the winners. If a man does not try, he does not find anything. If a woman does not try, she just gets poor suitors.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#226

Post by maroonblazer »

CiPHPerCoder wrote: post #217
maroonblazer wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not the parent but it's definitely descriptive. Should it be that way? The answer likely depends on whether you're a man or a woman. From the male's POV changing the game benefits us since there's less work to do. If you're a woman then it's the opposite and a net negative. This sexual dynamic evolved for a reason, so changing it seems like the epitome of an uphill battle.

> The answer likely depends on whether you're a man or a woman. From the male's POV changing the game benefits us since there's less work to do. If you're a woman then it's the opposite and a net negative. I don't have a horse in that race, but I do have an ethical concern. If you tell men that they're supposed to try, then it's likely that a lack of success will be met with trying harder . What does this result in,…

That's an interesting definition of "trying harder". I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other ways of trying harder. Those could include:

Inhabiting different environments. E.g. a female friend suggested I take up yoga as yoga classes tend to be more/mostly female. Within a few classes I was dating a woman I met there.

"Putting it out there" by which I mean proactively telling friends that you're interested in meeting women. This was suggested to me and my first reaction was "That's silly. Everyone knows I'm single and looking..." but in fact most people - even your friends - aren't prioritizing your dating life. If you mention it to them it sometimes can trigger a "Hey, that reminds me, I know someone who's also single...you two might be a good match."

Increasing your velocity. At the end of the day meeting someone you want to date is a numbers game. The more women you meet the more likely you are to find a match. "Trying harder" can simply be making more attempts to meet more women.

I.e. trying harder doesn't have to be creepy.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#227

Post by CiPHPerCoder »

maroonblazer wrote: post #226
CiPHPerCoder wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The answer likely depends on whether you're a man or a woman. From the male's POV changing the game benefits us since there's less work to do. If you're a woman then it's the opposite and a net negative. I don't have a horse in that race, but I do have an ethical concern. If you tell men that they're supposed to try, then it's likely that a lack of success will be met with trying harder . What does this result in,…

That's an interesting definition of "trying harder". I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other ways of trying harder. Those could include: Inhabiting different environments. E.g. a female friend suggested I take up yoga as yoga classes tend to be more/mostly female. Within a few classes I was dating a woman I met there. "Putting it out there" by which I m…

> That's an interesting definition of "trying harder".

See also: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16898821

> I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other ways of trying harder.

You'd think, but in practice, not always. Aren't humans amazing?

I think if we're being prescriptive, I think working towards a culture where all parties involved do both choosing and trying. Put forth the effort to get to know people, then choose who you want to be romantically/sexually involved with among the people for whom there is even a remote mutual desire.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#228

Post by nojvek »

toomanybeersies wrote: post #116
alexashka wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real stroke of genius would be making prostitution legal, and family a big deal. It'd solve men's natural urges, and women's constant insecurity that they're going to be abandoned, once they get wrinkles. It'd remove so much undisclosed resentment and tension within families and society. It'd free up people involved in billions upon billions of dollars worth of industry, to do something useful, instead of preying on…

Prostitution is legal in New Zealand and we have exactly the same problems with dating culture that people have been commenting about here.

Australia is legal too and probably a very healthy industry.

But apps like Tinder are like gambling. If you are one of the guys that that matches several times a day, it can get addictive with

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#230

Post by patentatt »

throw2016 wrote: post #173
jessriedel wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The evidence of a stronger male sex drive is overwhelming. ”The sex drive refers to the strength of sexual motivation. Across many different studies and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual desires than women, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liki…

This kind of research depends on some degree of frankness that may not always be available due to social stereotypes, religious stereotypes and other traditional 'purity' and shaming constraints operating on women. It would be healthier to assume both sexes have fully functioning sex drives, perhaps stronger in some individuals and discard the outdated notion that women are not as 'interested' in sex or need to be 'p…

It’s pretty naive to think that any disparity between sex drives is a social construct
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