Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps • Hacker News Board

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#121

Post by factsaresacred » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:11 AM UTC

His blog may not be to everyone's taste, but the writer 'Delicious Tacos' pioneered this with OK Cupid years ago. On his blog he shares his online dating exploits along with some nice openers ("You are attractive, and I want to go out with you. Basically" being one that I stole and overused).

Anyway, all that online dating made him horribly cynical. But damn if it doesn't make for good writing:

> If she doesn’t give the number, if she ignores your request and tries to continue the conversation– it’s dead. Maybe means no. Hesitation means no. I’ve had a few exceptions. But frankly, if a woman wants to make you work for it, it’s an insult. And all online conversation is just a chance to f%ck up. The point of OKCupid is that we are dehumanized slabs of f%ckmeat and there are a million of us. No individual matters. Move on.

For more: https://delicioustacos.com/2014/08/04/okcupid-starter-kit-co...

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#122

Post by orcdork » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:22 AM UTC

dr1337 wrote: post #113

orcdork wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a bunch of redpill bullshit.

OK rather than outright calling this out as "redpill bullshit" can you refute it with any substance?

Refute what exactly? A bunch of assumptions and pseudo-statistics?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#123

Post by magic_beans » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:23 AM UTC

csa wrote: post #103

orcdork wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a bunch of redpill bullshit.

While I disagree with a lot of the specifics of what tajen said, I can definitely say that I have a lot of female friends and acquaintances who conflate “men they can casually date due to dating apps” with “men they have a chance of marrying”. They always wonder why they seem to get ghosted or why their dream guy ends up “cheating” on them. It’s not really a mystery from my point of view.

Birds of a feather...

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#124

Post by chatmasta » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:23 AM UTC

About eight years ago I knew a teenager making over $100k a month sending dating site affiliate offers through Chatroulette. He had a bot that setup a fake stream and then pushed the affiliate links in the chat.

This is not new. Back then it was affectionately called “e-whoring.”

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#125

Post by watwut » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:26 AM UTC

factsaresacred wrote: post #121

His blog may not be to everyone's taste, but the writer 'Delicious Tacos' pioneered this with OK Cupid years ago. On his blog he shares his online dating exploits along with some nice openers ("You are attractive, and I want to go out with you. Basically" being one that I stole and overused). Anyway, all that online dating made him horribly cynical. But damn if it doesn't make for good writing: > If she doesn’t give…

> Maybe means no. Hesitation means no.

Not sure it is cynical. It might just be interpreting contemporary human communication correctly. In other contexts, "maybe" tends to be used when the other person don't really want to do whatever you want them to do. If you just spent two days trying to convince someone to go white water kayaking, then it normally means he dont want to be kayaking, it is the same.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#126

Post by noir_lord » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:30 AM UTC

factsaresacred wrote: post #121

His blog may not be to everyone's taste, but the writer 'Delicious Tacos' pioneered this with OK Cupid years ago. On his blog he shares his online dating exploits along with some nice openers ("You are attractive, and I want to go out with you. Basically" being one that I stole and overused). Anyway, all that online dating made him horribly cynical. But damn if it doesn't make for good writing: > If she doesn’t give…

I heard the horror stories about online dating however my experience as a man was nothing but positive.

I got responses maybe half the time and a date (coffee, nothing involving alcohol) maybe a third - I probably messaged 15 women over a year.

Two proper relationships and one that is two years old in July and I plan to spend the rest of my life in.

I did not use the shotgun approach, I excluded any woman who didn't fill her profile in with information (if they don't tell you about themselves how the hell do you know if you have anything potentially in common), excluded ones with terrible spelling and grammar (I'm not Chaucer but again it shows effort) and then only replied to ones where we had at least some interests in common (the two relationships where cycling and heavy metal respectively).

I wasn't looking for one night stands, didn't push for dates, asked questions relevant to their interests and discussed mine.

And it was all fine.

My current partner showed me her messages after we'd been dating for a while and it was just a sea of "hey Babi, want sum fuck?", I mean she speaks three languages and has a degree in finance that approach was never going to open a conversation.

My bar was "if I didn't find this person attractive would I want to be friends with them?"

If the answer wasn't yes then it was a pass.

I wasn't on there just for sex, if that was the goal I can just go out on the piss on a Saturday night.

I also avoided tinder like the plague, it's just too shallow (for me), I did like OKC though (where I met my current partner).

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#127

Post by CPLX » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:41 AM UTC

matte_black wrote: post #57

throwaway_234 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All dating should be like gay apps/dating... theres always someone wanting to talk to you, trade pics and try to hook up with you. At least if you have a nice body, decent face and are 20 to 40... unfortunately being white might help too. Str8 dating app scams barely exist on gay/bi apps. There's no need for it due to how men are. Horny and looking 24/7.

What I don’t understand is why so many people (at least women anyway) come to dating apps and declare they are just “looking for friends”. Is this really a thing or is it code for something else? Who is really so oblivious to think that looking for friends of the opposite sex on a dating app where people are there for more than just friendship is a good idea? I would never go on a dating app to find platonic friends.…

People say that on dating apps to create plausible deniability. If a friend, family member, or co-worker spots the profile and says hey what were you doing on that app they have an excuse. That's doubly true for those that are "kind of" dating someone who might wander across the profile.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#128

Post by rogy » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:48 AM UTC

nikanj wrote: post #28

laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

Bumble is an interesting platform. The promise is that women have to message first, luring in men who are frustrated with lack of replies, and women who are frustrated with endless spam. From what I’ve heard from my friends, 99% of first messages on Bumble are ”hi” or a single emoji, kicking the ball straight back on the men’s side of the field. I wish dating as a research subject wasn’t so wrapped in weird MRA activ…

I used Bumble for a while a bit under 3 years ago and id say 85% of my matches fell into the bucket of 'hi' first messages.

I found that if I only responded to people who actually sent me a 'real' first message it was an actually good experience, good conversation and led to easily the majority of my dates.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#129

Post by Anderkent » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 10:57 AM UTC

Double_a_92 wrote: post #111

tajen wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it’s rather devastating for female sanity. It gives them the illusion of choice, and many women build false expectations, feeling that they could settle with any of those Don Juans, which is false. When they hit the wall at 30, they start noticing that the top 10% men keep dating the younger ones, and they’ll never be able to settle with a Perfect Man anymore. Enters depression and weight gain and they settle wit…

Don't try to match with the top 10% if you are not in there yourself? It's not the app creating an illusion, if you are delusional to begin with...

Except people's expectations and standards are shaped by what they are surrounded by; what's available. Now that you're exposed to way more profiles, that all feel available, standards naturally rise.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#130

Post by skate22 » Fri, Apr 27, 2018, 11:06 AM UTC

Double_a_92 wrote: post #107

aphextron wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

> they will use the app endlessly if real women are there Do they actually? I've spoken to many men and those apps don't seem to work at all. Usually gets deleted after a few days of usage. Like what's the point of being there if absolutely noone wants to write?

I used tinder in college and it worked pretty well for me (male). I would swipe right 100%, and get 3-10 matches per day. Out of all of the matches, maybe 5% would message me. That would be the first time i even looked at the profile, and would decide to go for it or not. Out of that 5% i might actually go on a date with 1% of that group. It wasnt great, but wasnt terrible either.