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No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

gregsavage.com.au

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Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#31

Post by nradov »

zalew wrote: post #24
elbenshira wrote: post #7

Interestingly, this is mostly an American (and a also a Western) problem. In most of the world (South America, Middle East, Africa, East Asia, etc), "on time" ranges anywhere between 30 minutes to 3 hours later. We grade our personal productivity level much more than other cultures. Other cultures value other things such as community and relationships at a higher level than we do. A story: I was invited to an Indian…

That's true. When I've lived in Brasil, we were invited to a party for 7pm and if you came at 0730 you'd see the hosts wandering around in robes, comming about 2hrs late was the appropriate thing to do. It all depends on the local culture. In Poland, besides business meetings, there's a 15 minutes space, only after that it's considered being late; and yes, in big cities we're also all into that western 'being always…

If you plan ahead and start on time then you never have to be in a hurry.

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#32

Post by Groxx »

Similarly, taking great offense at someone who may very well just be "running late" is rude and selfish, as it assumes your little thing is more important than anything which may come up in their lives.

Context. Always context. If your event does not require strict adherence to starting times, don't require strict adherence to starting times. If it does, keep your view of your importance in scope with theirs, and for God's sake learn to adapt when things don't go flawlessly so glitches don't stop everything. Life is rarely flawless.

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#33

Post by nradov »

drivebyacct2 wrote: post #12
Devilboy wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Now THAT is rude!

Prioritization is necessary when demands > resources (time).

That's not a valid reason. If you can't show up on time then don't agree to the appointment in the first place.

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#34

Post by btilly »

sabat wrote: post #8

Actually, maybe I'm really busy, and doing the best I can. I value your time, but I value mine more. And obviously you're not as in demand as other people are. Sorry you can't appreciate that.

Actually, maybe I'm really busy, and doing the best I can.

No.

No matter how busy you are, if you're good at planning you can routinely be on time. If you're bad at planning, then you'll have problems no matter how little you have to do. And if you make a point of surrounding yourself with people who are able to manage to be on time, then you'll all get more done.

I value your time, but I value mine more.

As my brother drilled into me a long time ago, "Yes, but..." is just a dishonest way to say "No". Your actions clearly say that you DON'T value other people's time. There is no need to bother pretending otherwise.

And obviously you're not as in demand as other people are.

No. It is called "planning". And not being rude and selfish. You might learn this "planning" thing. It could let you get more done without putting as much effort out.

Sorry you can't appreciate that.

Apparently you are aware that it is inconvenient when other people prove to have desires that are at odds with your selfishness. But you clearly don't let that bother you too much.

My attitude is that people like you are productivity obstacles to route around and avoid.

(For the record I am someone whose natural tendency is to be chronically late. But not when someone else is depending on me.)

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#35

Post by astrec »

csmeder wrote: post #19

I get a php error when I visit this page. I guess the server isn't running low on resources, it is rude & selfish. Or maybe just misconfigured :) Error 403: Forbidden Your PHP settings have been disabled by an H-Sphere administrator. Your current PHP configuration: --> This configuration was changed: Please bring your PHP configuration in compliance with admin settings or request your administrator to re-enable suppo…

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:8rc57-1...

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#36

Post by zalew »

nradov wrote: post #31
zalew wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's true. When I've lived in Brasil, we were invited to a party for 7pm and if you came at 0730 you'd see the hosts wandering around in robes, comming about 2hrs late was the appropriate thing to do. It all depends on the local culture. In Poland, besides business meetings, there's a 15 minutes space, only after that it's considered being late; and yes, in big cities we're also all into that western 'being always…

If you plan ahead and start on time then you never have to be in a hurry.

No, I meant the culture of pressure on doing a lot of things the quickest way possible in the shortest ammount of time. Compare how people walk during working days on the streets of western big cities to what you see f.ex. in Gulf countries. Read a book on how business is made there. It's not a thing of being in a hurry because of bad time management, it's cultural impact on business.

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#37

Post by jakevoytko »

The strangest feature of chronic lateness is the view that meeting times can be gamed. Some avoid negative costs for early arrival, like waiting for tables. Others like the attention they get when they finally arrive. Yet others like that nothing happens until they appear.

Disentangling from the chronically late is worth the time. Some situations enforce punctuality. You can also pick a set-time activity for the meeting, like the start of a movie. You can also apply penalties: I once had a professor who allowed students to be as late as they want, but he would only collect homework until the start of class. Other situations, like travel, open the possibility of finding alternate arrangements. I have also resorted to giving earlier meeting times than the actual meeting time, but this has extra consequences.

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#38

Post by nopassrecover »

csmeder wrote: post #19

I get a php error when I visit this page. I guess the server isn't running low on resources, it is rude & selfish. Or maybe just misconfigured :) Error 403: Forbidden Your PHP settings have been disabled by an H-Sphere administrator. Your current PHP configuration: --> This configuration was changed: Please bring your PHP configuration in compliance with admin settings or request your administrator to re-enable suppo…

Despite the sarcasm I think this is a great response on a serious level. Most people are not late by intention just as this site wasn't intended to crash.

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#39

Post by [deleted] »

elbenshira wrote: post #7

Interestingly, this is mostly an American (and a also a Western) problem. In most of the world (South America, Middle East, Africa, East Asia, etc), "on time" ranges anywhere between 30 minutes to 3 hours later. We grade our personal productivity level much more than other cultures. Other cultures value other things such as community and relationships at a higher level than we do. A story: I was invited to an Indian…

[deleted]

Re: No, you are not "running late", you are rude & selfish

#40

Post by JangoSteve »

I don't know why, but at some point I just stopped sweating this sort of thing. When others are late to a meeting, it doesn't really bother me. When someone cuts me off in traffic, whateva. These are all small things that just aren't worth the effort of getting upset.

I told her I have been coming to you for 15 years but don’t take me for granted.

...

Me? Am I ever late? Sure, sometimes. That’s inevitable even with the best intentions. But I never plan to be late. I never ‘let time slide’ because my stuff is more important than yours.

I am not talking about the odd occasion of lateness. I am talking about people who are routinely late. In fact, never on time.

You seem to give yourself much more slack than you allow others. You're not talking about people who are occasionally late, and yet you walked out on your dentist who was late once in 15 years, from the sound of it.

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