Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

bbc.co.uk

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

181–190 of 207 posts

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#181

Post by Grieverheart »

Aramgutang wrote: post #164
Grieverheart wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should never be too hard on yourself, but putting labels can also be dangerous, as people often use it as an excuse to not work towards improving themselves.

A lot of mental disorders exhibit co-morbidity with depression. When a person grows up comparing themselves to their peers, every time they fail at something that others seem to do effortlessly, they tend to think less of themselves. Why can't I do what they can? Without a diagnosis, the answer to that question can be "because I am a failure as a human being", leading to erosion of self-worth. But being able to answe…

People should be told they are different, and to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, not that they are handicapped. In the end we agree on the solution, I'm just saying that explicitly labeling the weakness can be harmful. It can also lead to further marginalisation by other social groups. Additionally, it is hard even for psychologists to say which exact behaviours can be attributed to autism and which to personal development.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#182

Post by Aramgutang »

Grieverheart wrote: post #181
Aramgutang wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of mental disorders exhibit co-morbidity with depression. When a person grows up comparing themselves to their peers, every time they fail at something that others seem to do effortlessly, they tend to think less of themselves. Why can't I do what they can? Without a diagnosis, the answer to that question can be "because I am a failure as a human being", leading to erosion of self-worth. But being able to answe…

People should be told they are different, and to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, not that they are handicapped. In the end we agree on the solution, I'm just saying that explicitly labeling the weakness can be harmful. It can also lead to further marginalisation by other social groups. Additionally, it is hard even for psychologists to say which exact behaviours can be attributed to autism and which to person…

It would depend on who's doing the labelling. I think I agree with you in that society doesn't need to label them as handicapped.

However, I was thinking more about people labelling themselves internally, which is what the linked article focuses on. In that case, thinking of one's self as handicapped can be beneficial, which is what the article presents example of.

Since there is a medical professional involved in the diagnosis, they should be able to steer the patient towards the mindset that would be most beneficial for them, given each individual's circumstances. Repeated sessions work towards helping psychiatrists figure out, as you say, "which exact behaviours can be attributed to autism and which to personal development", and they can advise accordingly.

Minor nitpick: you said "psychologists", when "psychiatrists" would be more accurate. The latter are medical professionals who have gone through at least 14 years of study and practice, including a residency at a hospital, and they are the ones who are able to diagnose and prescribe medications. They are doctors, in the full sense of that word. Psychologists are not medical professionals (but that doesn't mean they're not useful).

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#183

Post by olavk »

Diederich wrote: post #57
olavk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I think the main point is: '[clubbing is] utterly foreign to me'

That doesn't mean you have Aspergers.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#184

Post by mercer »

drefanzor wrote: post #137

I understand they have a disorder, and yeah, it's "not that bad", for SOME. But come on. My son has autism. He is 13, and still cannot speak. He has to have 24 hour care. I understand that autism is a spectrum, but realize that what they're talking about here is much different. It's like saying someone has a paralyzed pinky versus a being a quadriplegic.

What's your point?

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#185

Post by mi3law »

_b2lj wrote: post #124
dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

I'm Autistic. Diagnosed at the age of 16 with moderate-severe Asperger's in 2001. I struggled all throughout middle-school high-school and even some college to understand other people and to make friends. Middle school was the worst, because I was endlessly bullied, very depressed, extremely lonely, and constantly told that I was "weird". Before my diagnosis I remember breaking down in my school's counselors office b…

Hi [redacted]. Thank you for sharing your powerful story.

A loved one is going through a similar experience (though struggling with the schizophrenia spectrum). I would love to ask you a few questions but couldn't find any contact info in your profile here.

Is there a way that I can get in touch with you? (My email is in my profile; if you send me a short note so that I can have your email, I'll followup).

I particularly curious about the experiment they discussed at Fox Run, with taking you off all the drugs to reset you for a proper diagnosis. Did they try it? Did it work? Is this a standard diagnostic procedure?

Thank you.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#186

Post by wolfgke »

Aramgutang wrote: post #164
Grieverheart wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should never be too hard on yourself, but putting labels can also be dangerous, as people often use it as an excuse to not work towards improving themselves.

A lot of mental disorders exhibit co-morbidity with depression. When a person grows up comparing themselves to their peers, every time they fail at something that others seem to do effortlessly, they tend to think less of themselves. Why can't I do what they can? Without a diagnosis, the answer to that question can be "because I am a failure as a human being", leading to erosion of self-worth. But being able to answe…

> A lot of mental disorders exhibit co-morbidity with depression.

> [...]

> In this thread, there an insightful comment that reads: it's like realizing that you are short... after decades of being told that the only reason you can't reach as high as most people is because you are lazy.

> When you said "people often use it as an excuse to not work towards improving themselves", that is exactly what the author of the comment meant by "being told [that they're] lazy". No matter how much a short person "work[s] towards improving themselves", they will not get taller. They instead find ways to work around the issue, like carrying stepladders with them.

Or summarized more concisely: One needs a diagnosis because other people are simply a##holes.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#187

Post by wolfgke »

lisper wrote: post #106
mercer wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would be interested to hear what things helped you most in changing your situation, though! I'm still at an early stage of actually 'doing' stuff to improve things, so I'd be very curious to hear what worked for you.

Mainly just making a concerted effort, when something went wrong, to go back and analyze why it went wrong and what I should have done differently. It took a lot of trial and error (like 10-20 years worth), and even today I will sometimes freeze up in social situations because all of the things I can think of to do in some situation are being flagged as "wrong" based on some prior experience.

> Mainly just making a concerted effort, when something went wrong, to go back and analyze why it went wrong and what I should have done differently. It took a lot of trial and error (like 10-20 years worth), and even today I will sometimes freeze up in social situations because all of the things I can think of to do in some situation are being flagged as "wrong" based on some prior experience.

Perhaps you should write this down as a concise theory with falsifiable predictions of what kind of social behavior people really expect.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#188

Post by wolfgke »

dingaling wrote: post #95
sidlls wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For us the diagnosis is a formality and a means to another end: access to resources in our child's school, protection for him from punishing him due to behavior that is a result of his condition, and formal recognition by our insurer to ease accepting claims for his therapy.

> protection for him from punishing him due to behavior that is a result of his condition That's an interesting and problematic aspect. My wife is a teacher and has started to encounter that attitude more frequently. "He gets angry because he is ${diagnosis}, you can't punish him for it". But when it disrupts the class, and encourages others to behave similarly, then some response is needed to mitigate the situation.…

> My wife is a teacher and has started to encounter that attitude more frequently. "He gets angry because he is ${diagnosis}, you can't punish him for it". But when it disrupts the class, and encourages others to behave similarly, then some response is needed to mitigate the situation.

Who says this mitigation has to be a punishment? I am also skeptical concerning punishments for neurotypicals in similar situations.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#189

Post by eeZah7Ux »

_b2lj wrote: post #124
dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

I'm Autistic. Diagnosed at the age of 16 with moderate-severe Asperger's in 2001. I struggled all throughout middle-school high-school and even some college to understand other people and to make friends. Middle school was the worst, because I was endlessly bullied, very depressed, extremely lonely, and constantly told that I was "weird". Before my diagnosis I remember breaking down in my school's counselors office b…

I'm shocked that nobody commented on the horrible way you've been treated: misdiagnosis, bullying, being labeled "weird" and given poor advice even by your own teachers, being experimented on and then even incarcerated.

Why are people accepting this events so lightheartedly?

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#190

Post by mercer »

wolfgke wrote: post #186
Aramgutang wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of mental disorders exhibit co-morbidity with depression. When a person grows up comparing themselves to their peers, every time they fail at something that others seem to do effortlessly, they tend to think less of themselves. Why can't I do what they can? Without a diagnosis, the answer to that question can be "because I am a failure as a human being", leading to erosion of self-worth. But being able to answe…

> A lot of mental disorders exhibit co-morbidity with depression. > [...] > In this thread, there an insightful comment that reads: it's like realizing that you are short... after decades of being told that the only reason you can't reach as high as most people is because you are lazy. > When you said "people often use it as an excuse to not work towards improving themselves", that is exactly what the author of the c…

Sadly I've found that post-diagnosis, at least when it comes to something that can be 'hidden' pretty well, like Aspergers, even just mentioning the diagnosis often makes things worse (especially around said assholes).
Post reply on HN