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It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

bbc.co.uk

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Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#51

Post by mercer »

dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

I agree with you to the extent that it might not benefit the client to 'know' that their diagnosis is asperger's. It can be enough to be treated for the symptoms, as that's what will happen anyways.

However, for the therapist it might matter more. There's some evidence, for example, that CBT, which is used for anxiety, among other things, can actually worsen the situation in someone who is on the spectrum.

Furthermore, it's kind of unavoidable at this point because a diagnosis is often required for health insurance purposes, as I understand it.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#52

Post by jerf »

Will_Parker wrote: post #35
pluto9 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nothing in your description is specific to Asperger's Syndrome. You sound like an introvert with some social anxiety, which is not a developmental disorder.

That pins down an interesting characteristic of the situation. If we manage to self-treat ourselves into passable normality, few people believe we ever had a serious problem in the first place! Or that they (with their actual serious diagnoses) could learn from those who applied self help and rational analysis to their own lives. I actually think some people get attached to the idea of their victimhood and helplessne…

"If we manage to self-treat ourselves into passable normality, few people believe we ever had a serious problem in the first place!"

Elaborating, I think, rather than disagreeing: Self-treating into passable normalcy is basically life. One of the characteristics you have to have in order to be diagnosed with any psychological disorder is that it has to be interfering with your life. Absolutely everybody can read the DSM and find a good half-a-dozen things they may have tendencies towards, but if it's not interfering with your life, it's not a disease/diagnosis. Liking a clean space does not mean you're on the "OSD spectrum", being a bit nervous around spiders does not mean you're on the "phobia spectrum", etc.

"Healthy" isn't a single point in psych space, if for no other reason then that there isn't a "perfectly healthy" person available to define that point for us! It also certainly isn't a well-delineated boundary, but it is clearly not a single point, and even within the space of "healthy" there is clearly a lot of diversity.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#53

Post by mercer »

bluetomcat wrote: post #50
olavk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am: 1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking. 2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small s…

It's possible you're on the spectrum. I'd say whatever the case, some form of meditation/mindfulness might help with some of those issues. It helped me a lot.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#54

Post by [deleted] »

gaspoweredcat wrote: post #7

Although im male i also had a late diagnosis (33) which brought about several "oh now that makes sense" moments. im not really surprised i wasnt diagnosed, i grew up in a tiny middle of nowhere village in the 80s, autism was pretty much unheard of i was just the "problem kid" of the village. ive also always had various quirks that id always previously just put down to me being "weird" the most pronounced of these is…

[deleted]

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#55

Post by mercer »

lisper wrote: post #46
pluto9 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nothing in your description is specific to Asperger's Syndrome. You sound like an introvert with some social anxiety, which is not a developmental disorder.

You should consider the possibility that I have not given a complete description of my situation in a single HN comment from which one could properly diagnose me one way or the other. Maybe the aspects of my situation that would definitively decide the question one way or the other are too painful for me to air in public even after all these years, or maybe I just don't feel like baring my soul in public. Either way,…

I would be interested to hear what things helped you most in changing your situation, though! I'm still at an early stage of actually 'doing' stuff to improve things, so I'd be very curious to hear what worked for you.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#56

Post by itsameta4 »

bluetomcat wrote: post #50
olavk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am: 1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking. 2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small s…

Your first two symptoms are literally the textbook definition of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_d...

Number 3 may be as well; I'm not that familiar with OCD.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#57

Post by Diederich »

olavk wrote: post #39
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I think the main point is: '[clubbing is] utterly foreign to me'

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#58

Post by wccrawford »

dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

Many people struggle with the idea that they're different than others, especially in ways that society in general considers "less". "Less socially adept", for example.

With a professional saying that they have a condition that's beyond their control, and labeling it for them, it helps them say "I'm different, but it's not my fault."

It shouldn't matter. Be different if you want to. Don't give in to peer pressure.

But that just isn't how people work. Most people actively want to be liked and to fit it, even if it's not in their nature to do it effortlessly. And it bothers them when they aren't doing it well.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#59

Post by mercer »

maxxxxx wrote: post #47
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

I still remember the feeling of confusion and depression growing up and watching people form relationships, going to parties and doing small talk while I wasn't able to figure out these things that are usually taken for granted. I think my life would have been much better if somebody had recognized this and helped me to function in social life. There are social skills that can be learned with enough practice. It won'…

Do you feel there's still ways to improve your situation in this regard?

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#60

Post by reallymental »

bluetomcat wrote: post #50
olavk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am: 1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking. 2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small s…

Hey, I'm not here to pass any judgement.

I recognise your symptoms as Obsessively Compulsive.

I'm one of those people who has to hide his symptoms from everyone all the time and disguise them as "oops I think I dropped my keys, I need to go in an out of this doorway 12 times whilst checking it". I waste at least an hour of my life in my OCD rituals, and I'm all too aware of how I come across, to other people as well.

Your love for quantum mechanics might just be that, your love for QM.

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