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It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

bbc.co.uk

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Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#21

Post by mercer »

roryrjb wrote: post #16
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

This is the exact feeling I get, for some things I just don't get why most people do that. I realise that for some people it may be hard to cope with or people might be intolerant or ignorant, and not to put those on the spectrum down or anything but I kind of think that everyone is on "the spectrum" with "normal" people just on one far side of it, it's just another part of being human. Someone I know very well is de…

While I think you have a point, I really, really dislike the conclusion, as I've seen and experienced the harm it causes.

While I'm sure there are cases where the person diagnosed is coddled (and this is something to keep an eye on), there are many more cases where there's a real problem, and the lack of a diagnosis or the lack of accepting that the (un)diagnosed simply has limitations is a big part of the problem.

It's a bit like the attitude that welfare is a bad thing because some people are lazy. I'd argue that, provided we can afford it as a society (and we can), if even one out of ten people is helped, the other nine can scam their way into welfare all they want.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#22

Post by gowld »

mercer wrote: post #12
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

I was only diagnosed at around 30, and so I also just kind of figured out how to 'pass for normal'. One of my biggest frustrations when I talk about this stuff is that people will 1) insist I'm not autistic, as a compliment of sorts, 2) insist I'm not autistic as a sort of attack/defense, lest I 'use' it to victimize myself, or 3) start treating me like a 'broken' person and assigning all 'oddness' to aspergers. At f…

"Autism" is simply a label for a certain basket of personality characteristics that tend to occur together. It's scientifically interesting but not very relevant to daily life -- especially on the milder end where there's less predictive power (in more severe autism, seeing one symptom makes it likely that you'll see other symptoms, so you can correctly plan to encounter them).

The label itself doesn't provide more meaning than whatever individual specific characteristics a person exhibits to what extents.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#23

Post by electricslpnsld »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

> Even to this day there are a lot of things that "normal" people do that are utterly foreign to me, like going to clubs or watching sports on TV.

I wouldn't characterize being into sports as a "normal" thing -- I have friends diagnosed on the spectrum who are utterly obsessed with sports. If you ever want a rabbit hole of statistics and details to dive into, baseball is a cornucopia.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#24

Post by gowld »

blauditore wrote: post #11

Since the causes of autism are not really understood, it's defined and diagnosed based on behavior, or symptoms, if you will. Thus, is there an actual qualitative difference between "shy, socially anxious/clumsy" and autistic, except for the extent of those properties?

It's very easy to diagnose someone with extreme autism, just as it's easy to diagnose someone with extreme dwarfism. It's blurrier when you get to mild autism (and mild shortness) where there is less visible impairment, less obvious behavior, and often visible benefits.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#25

Post by mercer »

bluetomcat wrote: post #20
brabel wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My idea of a good time is reading up on quantum mechanics or the ordinal hierarchy. Haha, same here!! Does it mean I might be an "Aspie" too???

Deep interest about any topic which is considered "uninteresting" or "impractical" by "normal" people. Might be the history of a particular aircraft, or a car, or an event in the distant past. Your brain is consumed by it for completely irrational reasons and you feel obliged to dig even deeper.

One thing that I'd say makes it more specifically an 'aspie' thing is that it's often obsessive to the unhealthy point of severely neglecting other aspects of life, and it can be weirdly temporary. Something like being into sudoku's for weeks on end, and then entirely forgetting about it afterwards.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#26

Post by gowld »

isolli wrote: post #3

My wife and I believe our daughter has a (thankfully) mild form of autism. It took us a while, but when the realization came, it was a relief, as we stopped being angry at her and at ourselves: 1) hopefully we did not do anything wrong to cause this, and 2) it is not our daughter's fault that she behaves this way. We did not get a specific diagnostic, and I'm not sure it's worth seeking one. As far as I know, the dia…

It's not your fault that you are not autistic. Remember that.

(If that statement sounded weird, that's the point.)

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#27

Post by amyjess »

I have a lingering suspicion that a good amount of monks during the middle ages had some form of ASD. Monastic life involved repetitive activities that are usually enjoyed by people with ASD, and monks often had intellectual hobbies that made them probably the closest thing to nerds that existed in the middle ages, which is linked to ASD.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#28

Post by tytytytytytytyt »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

Not wanting to go to clubs or watch sports on TV doesn't mean you have Aspergers, nor does enjoying science reading.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#29

Post by gowld »

cookiecaper wrote: post #10

Autism, like cancer, is not a single thing. Toward the start of the spectrum, including Asperger's, it seems to be essentially "clinically-significant weirdness, not otherwise specified" (on the later end of the spectrum, it's "major or profound mental retardation, not otherwise specified"). A more productive discussion might be why we feel the need to pathologize so much about ourselves. Why do we need a person to l…

Mental Retardation is not autism, though it is often correlated.

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1088357606021002...

> "Overall, the findings indicate that more empirical evidence is needed before conclusions can be made about the percentages of children With autism Who are mentally retarded."

Diagnosis isn't a scapegoat, it's a doorway to effective engagements and improved quality of life.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#30

Post by loriverkutya »

cookiecaper wrote: post #10

Autism, like cancer, is not a single thing. Toward the start of the spectrum, including Asperger's, it seems to be essentially "clinically-significant weirdness, not otherwise specified" (on the later end of the spectrum, it's "major or profound mental retardation, not otherwise specified"). A more productive discussion might be why we feel the need to pathologize so much about ourselves. Why do we need a person to l…

"Some people see a formal diagnosis as an unhelpful label, but for many, getting a timely and thorough assessment and diagnosis may be helpful because:

it helps people with Asperger syndrome (and their families, partners, employers, colleagues, teachers and friends) to understand why they may experience certain difficulties and what they can do about them it allows people to access services and support." - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asperger.aspx

Also, if you read the article, you will see, that for people with ASD usually find the diagnosis as a relief.

Also, I'm not sure, if you talked to any parents with kid(s) with ASD diagnosis, ask them about what is different since the diagnosis.

Also, please try to show a little more empathy because your comment is hurtful to Aspies who felt that the diagnosis changed their life.

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