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The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

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Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#31

Post by narrator »

revicon wrote: post #29
narrator wrote: post #20

Conversation Zen Levels from lowest zen to highest: Level 1: The conversation does not involve talking about your job. This is only acceptable in business network situations. If you are not at a trade show, business event, in an interview or at work you shouldn't talk about work. This is the most pathetic type of small talk, as it immediately puts you in a social class/stereotype bucket. Level 2: The conversation doe…

"...and then just don't talk unless you can achieve that zen level..." Heh, let me know when you figure out how to pull this off.

In non-dating recreational situations you can actually pull off level 4 if you're disciplined. For instance, if you go to a sailing class. Only talk about sailing and learning sailing. Put all your brain into it and keep out of lower level talk. People will find you very mysterious and interesting because you didn't lay all your cards on the table so they could just put you in a bucket.

Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#32

Post by dkarl »

lsc wrote: post #17
wallflower wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Was it really nice to meet them? Or are you trying to ditch them? When someone pulls the 'it was nice meeting you' gambit on you - are you relieved or do you like being ditched?

you know what I don't like? I don't like not knowing if a person is genuinely interested or just being polite. I mean, the last thing I want to do is to trap someone into a boring (to them) conversation. I'd much rather they tell me they aren't interested. On the other hand, I don't want to avoid talking to people out of unfounded fear. Really, the best solution is to have people leave when they are no longer interes…

You speak a minority language and will never persuade the majority to learn yours. On the other hand, it takes two to tango, and if they can't extricate themselves from an unwanted conversation with you, then either they aren't trying very hard (because they're passive-aggressive) or their social skills have limits just like yours. Either way, it's a combination of their weakness with yours that leads to awkwardness. By all means keep working on your skills, but try to see "normal" people as falling into a spectrum of social ability that you also fall into (deep in one end, apparently, but you'll be surprised how close some "normal" people come.)

Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#35

Post by luciferous »

wallflower wrote: post #13

It is embarrassing that some of the most otherwise socially capable people do not know the proper technique to extricate yourself from a conversation. First, what you don't do: 1. Never ever say "It was nice meeting you" and walk away. Worst case, you've made an enemy. 2. Do not say "I want to go to the buffet/bathroom". They may want to go along with you. What to do: 1. State what you want. "I'd like to go meet thos…

This is the best advice. You don't have to leave a person, you can recruit them. It also works with people with whom you don't get along at first.

Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#37

Post by wazoox »

That reminds me that apparently so many people actually seem to like going to places like bars and hang there for hours keeping on completely pointless conversations and drinking beer. Really, I don't get it. Twice a year is Okay, but twice a week? I'd be bored to death. Can anyone explain this social mystery?

Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#38

Post by delackner »

wazoox wrote: post #36
akgerber wrote: post #33

I wonder what was behind the decision to put a background on this website that just makes it look like your monitor is dirty.

Oh, so you too spent some time stupidly rubbing your clean monitor :)

Amazed that someone even figured this out. I also tried cleaning my monitor and, on failing, rationalized it away as some kind of oil smear that would later require proper cleaning.

Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#39

Post by dustyreagan »

wazoox wrote: post #36
akgerber wrote: post #33

I wonder what was behind the decision to put a background on this website that just makes it look like your monitor is dirty.

Oh, so you too spent some time stupidly rubbing your clean monitor :)

Haha! I noticed that too. I scrolled the page to see if the smudge scrolled with it.

Re: The Four Levels of Social Entrapment

#40

Post by jewbacca »

philwelch wrote: post #28

One of my neighbors has the habit of ending his conversations with, "Well, I don't have anything left to say" and then going back to his apartment. I like that about him. Other than that, I didn't like the article. From what I've seen of this blog, the blogger seems far too interested in seeking recognition for her often-childish neuroses rather than developing the self-efficacy to do anything about them. There's no…

From what I understand, this blogger is a purely and explicitly comedic blogger who is making a living off of what she does. I'll leave it as an open exercise to enumerate exactly what it is she does that is valuable [0], but to criticize the author of this blog for not being lionhearted is pretty much like criticizing Larry David for not being Laurence Olivier.

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  [0] How is there not some terse bit of internet-ese to invoke the futility of examining some instance of humour?
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